| 28 Feb 2002 | Christine D. Nadon | Loading...Nice poem! It's very rhymey.  | |
| 20 Jun 2002 | Melanie Köhler 'Mistress of Chaos' | Loading...Very nice! It's got a very epic feel to it. Sort of like the Iliad. You describe the battle like a meeting between giants, a mighty warrior and a great king, fighting for... I don't know what. Brian 'Dulcet' Bergstrom replies: "Yes, I've been DYING for more people to comment on this. It's been up here for months! Heh, I describe it better here than in my story...lol" | |
| 21 Jun 2002 | M. Bechard | Loading...Wow, I just love the rhyming scheme, it works very well with the story being told in it. I might just steal this rhyme scheme for something in the future. Heh, good job. Brian 'Dulcet' Bergstrom replies: "I'm very proud of this one. I honestly let the pen do all the fighting. It wasm't me, I swear! I wrote this one just to test my battle skills in poetry. I was gonna delete this, but now that I got two great comments, I'm gonna keep it!" | |
| 1 Aug 2003 | Camilla 'Motone' Whitney | Loading...Interesting. But, monster that I am, I shall now attack typos.
The *King's* landed with a thump --If this is meant to be possessive, then please specify. If not, then it should probably not even have an s (or ') at all, since there is only one king in the poem.
The King laughed into *Barbank* face --Vaguely, it could work, but in a more real sense, add 's
As the ball formed Barbank readied his *sttack* --easy enough to figure out. "You are mighty good." the *Kig* had said --same with above. | |
| 9 Aug 2003 | Topaz | Loading...Just why, man? It's sooo.... hokey. Don't quit your day job, Sir Lovelace. | |
| 14 Mar 2004 | Marie 'Jadeanite' Westbrook | Loading...Neat poem, I like how you managed to make it so it was both funny and serious at the same time. I couldn't see any mistakes so I don't really have any criticism. The storyline seems neat also, almost something more like a story chapter in poem form, which I don't see that often in poems. | |