Elfwood is the worlds largest SciFi & Fantasy community.
  - 92960 members, 25 online now.
  - 55834 site visitors the last 24 hours.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Brian ´Dulcet´ Bergstrom

"Regonian Light: Chapter 1" by Brian ´Dulcet´ Bergstrom

SF&F Picture 2 out of 17 by Brian ´Dulcet´ Bergstrom
 
Tag As Favorite
 
In this chapter we find who the destined one is.
Add Bookmark
Tag As FavoriteComment


Chapter 1



In the bloody forests of the Dark Domain, a warrior about the age of nineteen is training with his father. The father had one many great battles. The warrior is training hard so he can be just like his father. The main goal was to get his son to be a great Warrior of the Dark, one of the highest honors in their society. The highest rank above being apart of the Army of the Dark was being Chancelor of the Domain. One had to be a very skilled warrior to achieve that position. But the best the warrior could hope for was getting into the army.








The forest shadows dripped across the warriors back like mud. The fatherather circled around him, weapon at the ready, relaxed yet completely alive. Almost imperceptibly, the father dropped his weapon, inviting the attack. He smiled, and the warrior smiled back.

The warrior took the invitation, springing forward with a downward cut to the head. The father spun, swinging down in a wide arc. Had the warrior not launched himself into a protective roll, the blow would have most likely broken his spine. As it was, the blow passed harmlessly over him, and in an instant the warrior had regained his feet, now a safe distance away from the father's return attack.


The warrior punched the living daylights out of the bag placed in front of him. The bag, to the boy, was nothing but a mere object to slaughter just as a man's body.

As he punched the last bag, the father tested his great skill by attacking his son himself instead of throwing the bag by surprise. This nearly stunned the warrior, but he pinned his father in no time.

"No," the father said, "You must beat the opponent until he or she is unconscious."

"Oh, Master, I know all of these stupid drills by heart and you know it. I've won practically every tournament there ever was. What good is training if you've trained all your life and never improved? I am ready to improve. I need to join the army. You know I'm good enough."

"Listen to me, boy, I've been in more battles than you can imagine. If I were to act like you just did, my ass would be sliced! You must obey me or your chances of getting into the army will be slim. Very slim. Your brother Inin would never disobey me like that. He's a fine warrior because of it. He has a good shot at becoming Chancelor some day." He paused for a moment. "I'm all you've got. If you can't take this chance, then forget it."

"Fine, I will," the warrior ran off, leaving his father behind yelling.

He didn't really care about the Warriors of the Dark. He had no interest to be apart of them. He didn't want to play or fight with their ways. He just wished he could be himself. The Regonian Council would forbid him to fight, yes, but he didn't care. He believed his skill was meant to be put to a much better use.

The trees were rugged along the path because few people used it or even knew of it. Along the path, in the bushes, there was a set of lovely eyes watching him. When he passed, she giggled. He was startled for a moment. He ignored it and went on.





* * *






"Good day," called an old man's voice from the distance. The warrior looked around and found nothing. No one was there.

"Who is this?" the warrior asked.

"My name is not to be spoken in this realm." it replied.

"Realm? What are you talking about?"

"There are two realms: the Dark Domain, the one we are in now and the Light Realm, where they practice the Light instead of Darkness."

"What's the Light?" he asked.

"The Light is the exact opposite of the Dark. It teaches you good fighting skills and morals. Those are two things no Dark warrior ever has or will have."

"What exactly are you?"

There was a chuckle. "I will tell you when we get to the other side, where my name is allowed to be spoken."

"Is it forbidden to speak your name?"

There was a pause. "Yes. It is forbidden."

"Why?" asked the very inquisitive warrior.

"Follow the path to Exampst with me. I will explain everything when we get there."

They continued along the path and the strange spirit explained what he could.


"Why have you come for me?" the warrior asked.

"Reasons no mortal can possibly know."

"What do you mean?"

"What is your name?"

"Barbank Redson of Regonia," he replied.

"What is your view point on this whole Dark Domain?" the spirit asked.

"Stupid." Barbank said. "All we do is fight to the death. There's no amusement. No fun. All we ever do is fight. It's boring for me. They force me to be cruel to others. I don't want to be cruel to others. I want to be different. I want to live by rules that are fair and full of justice. In my town, the word 'justice' is not even known. Why is that?"

"Hmm," the spirit said, "That's a very complicated question that not even I can answer," the spirit replied.





As they continued down the path, they eventually made it to Exampst. The town was dismal and gloomy. It didn't seem that there had been any fighting of any sort going on. People seemed to be struggling to live.

The merchants sold their goods at the lowest prices they could sell while still getting some profit. The women and children had to stay at home and do chores while the men went to work and provided what food he could on the table.

Barbank's eyes were almost in tears. He had never seen such a town. The streets were filled with hopeful tears, but the hope wasn't enough. The people in this town obvioously hated the way they were living. Barbank felt he should do something to try and help them out.

He asked the strange spirit if there was anything he could do. There was no answer. Where had he gone? How could he possibly abandon him at a time like this?

Barbank walked through the town, doing favors for other people. A woman needed help carrying groceries so he opened the door for her. A young boy was struggling to pull a large crate of food, so Barbank offered to carry it for him. A knife dealer was in an argument with a customer about a price. Barbank thrrew the amount of money on the table that solved the problem. Over all, he was doing good for the town.

A young girl walked up to him. "Who are you?" she asked.

"My name is Barbank Redson of Regonia." he replied.

"Why are you doing all these kind things? It's sort of against the law, you know."

"The law is stupid. I fight for what is right."

Just then, the man in charge of the town, the mayor, walked out and heard what he said and smiled. Finally someone with that belief. He walked up to him and decided to join the conversation.

"Ya know," he said, " we have been waiting for someone like you. No one has ever come near to doing the things you did. I like that. We must put together some way to honor you. To thank you for what you've done."

"Well," Barbank said, "There's only one thing I want right now."

"What would that be?" the girl asked.

"Knowledge of the Light."

Both the girl and the mayor looked at him strangely. They had never heard of the Light before either.

"What's the Light?" the girl asked.

"Not even I know." Barbank exclaimed. "A strange voice back in the woods told me of it. I don't know why, but it seems very much like the things that I just did. He said it will teach me justice and doing right."

Their eyes widened. By now, all the townspeople had been listening in on the conversation. They, of course, we very interested in what this brilliant man had to say.

←- Regonian Light: Prologue - Match | Regonian Light: Chapter 2 -→

DateNameComment 
19 Apr 200145 Josh N. Petroff
Ok, now I'm spooked.. do you delete your comments or something?! *looks around for people* WHY AREN'T YOU READING AND COMMENTING?! *sigh* well, once again, I'm amazed. You used a pretty good amount of description. One thing that really bothered me though, is a major spelling error. LoL lookie: The fatherather circled around him. Fatherather... *giggles and runs off to read the next part*
Author's Response: As you probably already discovered, people comment in Chapter 2. It used to be the latest one and the end of the reading, so they left comments there. And I know there are various spelling errors throughout the story, but I don't really care. Unless someone is willing to edit it for me.
20 Apr 200145 AlleneWood
hmmm, interesting. I am really enjoying this so far....if you get it published...i'll buy it, but I want one signed darnit! lol.....*bounds off to read more*
Author's Response: I'm really glad you people like this. Makes me feel good. And if I tour the bookstores across the country, you'd better be there or you won't get your copy signed!
1 Sep 200145 Monroe
I like your names. They roll wonderfully off the tongue. (Laughs at calling his father, 'Master...')
24 Nov 2001:-) Stephanie J. Walls
This is really a pretty interesting story. I like the idea. I guess it is just the struggle of dark and light, but this has alot more personality.
5 Jan 200245 Anna R. Priestley
Wow. ^^ Great story. Good beginning and ending. I'm goin on ta chapter two now ^^Keep it up!
6 May 200245 M. Bechard
Wow, this story seems very entertaining (not inb a bad way). I am enjoying it quite muchly, and can see that you have an amazing writing style. When you get this story finished, are you going to try and get it published?
22 Jun 2002:-) Melanie Köhler 'Mistress of Chaos'
Melikes! I like your style, it is very distinct.
One thing that really confused me, though was: "In my town, the word 'justice' is not even known." How does he know the word 'justice' if couldn't have learned it?
I also think that you could put in more reasons for him running out on his father before he does. You know, sort of hint at it before it happens. Maybe go into the past a little to explain.
One thing that frequently annoys me with fantasy stories is the inherent goodness of the good characters. If the person was brought up by evil people, he wouldn't be perfectly good immediately. He would still think like and evil person, but deep inside know that it's not right. Then the person would have to slowly learn about what is evil and what is good.
One thing that annoyed me was that you start out in present tense and end up in past.
If you want someone to edit, I guess I'd do it. I know it's weird, but I actually _like_ editing things.

Ooh, and one more thing: Wasn't Regonia supposed to be a sort of 'good' city?

:-) Brian 'Dulcet' Bergstrom replies: "Ok, a few things that I evidently left out explaining that I never knew the reader was confused about. THANKS! The justice thing needs to be reworded to "there is no justice in my town" cuz how i meant it now lost its meaning I guess. And I guess I could add in more reasons for him running away. But the point of his goodness was that he was fed up with being evil. And now I realize that is sort of a shocker to the reader. And one MAJOR thing that I forgot to make clear is that Regonia is still there, but the shadow made it look like any other abandoned turf, but the name still stuck. That's a very important point. And as far as editing the story I think that would be wonderful! I really need the help! I'll talk to you about it later though. Thanks for the long comment!!"
Not signed in, Add an anonymous comment to this guestbook...    

Your Name:
Your Mail:
   Private message? (Info)



About 'Regonian Light: Chapter 1':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Brian ´Dulcet´ Bergstrom
 • Copyright: ©Brian ´Dulcet´ Bergstrom. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Light, Darkness, Dark, Evil, Good, Warrior, Mage, Wizardry
 • Categories: Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc.
 • Views: 230


More by 'Brian ´Dulcet´ Bergstrom':
Red Velvet - Part I
Regonian Light: Chapter 3
Fire
Regonian Light: Chapter 7
Elf
Battle
Regonian Light: Prologue - Match
Red Velvet - Part II

Related Tutorials:
  • 'On Teen Writing' by :-)Elisabeth A. Wilhelm
  • 'Description, Dialogue, & Action' by :-)Jessica Barnes
  • 'Building Stronger Story Themes' by :-)Timothy Pontious
  • Art Education Finder...
  •  
     

    Elfwood™ is a site for Fantasy and Science Fiction art and stories created by Thomas Abrahamsson and helpful assistants and moderators, owned by the Elfwood corporation.

    [More...]