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Brian ´Dulcet´ Bergstrom

"Shadow" by Brian ´Dulcet´ Bergstrom

SF&F Picture 17 out of 17 by Brian ´Dulcet´ Bergstrom
 
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My very first poem I ever wrote, believe it or not.
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In the mist I see a shadow

Its size is big and brave

I see a tiny weakling

Though he may be hard to save



The shadow holds a dark secret to kill

I see it in his eyes

Tiny horrors raising rapidly

The weakling is about to die



The weakling shivers

He senses fear

He does not know of the dark shadow

The werakling tried to sense what is near



The shadow raises its deadlt blade

I see the weakling is afraid

He runs into the meadow as the shadow follows

The shadow is about to take his life



The weakling could only make it a few feet

What an easy slaying for the shadow

He runs, until they meet

The weakling has not a chance



The shadow's blade swings

It went fast

Like many things

There was a bit of a pause for a moment



I look into the great dark mist

There is still the weakling for the shadow missed

The shadow shows great agony

For the weakling dodged

Just like me
←- Run | Regonian Light: Prologue - Match -→

DateNameComment 
8 Apr 200245 M. Bechard
Dammit, how come your poetry is soo good. I want you to teach me how to write good poetry, NOW!
16 Jun 2002:-) Anastasia I-Morn-Gwathren
wow, this is really cool! I like that kind of vague feel it has. A bit spooky too. And of course, the IMAGERY!!!
Very nice work.

:-) Brian 'Dulcet' Bergstrom replies: "thanks!"
27 Jul 200245 Mandy
I think it's really good too. And I'm picky about poetry.

:-) Brian 'Dulcet' Bergstrom replies: "Thanks Mandy!! ^_^"
18 Aug 2002:-) Vicky Barrett
It's wonderful, a bit like a tale within itself, the different stages. I'm impressed, you obviously worked on it, and thought carefully, and it worked out well, which is an even bigger bonus. *grins* Just write more

:-) Brian 'Dulcet' Bergstrom replies: "Ok, it seems I write better with little effort. I wrote this poem, my first, out of the air. But thanks."
3 Mar 200345 Jenn Chasteen
Woah. I'm all like, aw, poor weakling, but the weakling isn't so weak.. because he kept trying and in the end, he won against the dark shadow. I like this a lot. It's really a great poem.
1 Aug 2003:-) Camilla 'Motone' Whitney
*insert horrible transformation into the Editor, accompanied by a dramatic minor chord*

TYPO TIME! *celebrates in a typo bloodfest*

The *werakling* tried to sense what is near

The shadow raises its *deadlt* blade

Pretty good for a first poem ever. I should post my first poem ever. hahahahah that would be hilarious.
12 Jan 200545 Anonymous
This poem wants me to bust a nut all over myself it's soo good. I jacked off to this twice and then i couldn't stop rubbing my ballz...
9 Jul 200545 Gray Soul
good
24 Sep 2006:-) Eric F. Wilkinson
Nice twist at the end.
18 Jan 2008:-) Anthony James Cunningham
I like this, and it is hard to believe it is your first poem. The only thing I think you could improve on is to use more poetic devices (e.g. similie, ryhme scheme, metaphor, etc.). But this is a really great poem!
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About 'Shadow':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Brian ´Dulcet´ Bergstrom
 • Copyright: ©Brian ´Dulcet´ Bergstrom. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Shadow, Weakling, Hope, Swing, Darkness, Poem, Shadow vs. weakling, Dying, Mortal death
 • Categories: Urban Fantasy and/or Cyberpunk
 • Views: 240


More by 'Brian ´Dulcet´ Bergstrom':
 Regonian Light: Chapter 3
Regonian Light: Chapter 1
Fire
Battle
Elf
Regonian Light: Chapter 2
Regonian Light: Chapter 5
Regonian Light: Prologue - Match
Red Velvet - Part I

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