Elfwood is the worlds largest SciFi & Fantasy community.
  - 152410 members, 3 online now.
  - 12682 site visitors the last 24 hours.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sophia Tula Rose Dique

"An Angel Broken - Poem" by Sophia Tula Rose Dique

SciFi/Fantasy text 1 out of 7 by Sophia Tula Rose Dique.      ←Previous - Next→
 
Tag As Favorite
 
I was reading alot of elfwood stories, and this came to mind... I might see if I can draw it!
Add Bookmark
Tag As FavoriteComment
←- Prologue - Sheni | Chapter One - Sheni -→

An Angel Broken.

Upon the rift of time and space

A figure bent, a formless grace;

Slouched against the colourless stone

Broken by the last unknown.

 

Dark threads fall across her face

Whilst tears try to win the race

Across smooth expressionless skin

To drip slowly from her chin.

 

Would it be she was left to die ?

Could it be the tears left to dry?

Should the hand pressed against the stone,

Fall away with her last moan?

 

For emotion tied with hope and pain

Should never have been seen a game

A form draped across lasting chill

Lacking hope, lacking will.

 

And while white wings shiver in the light

Black wings blossom with the night.

And whilst features fade away,

Red lips slowly turn to grey.

←- Prologue - Sheni | Chapter One - Sheni -→

DateNameComment 
31 Aug 2005:-) Debbie Newcomb
Wonderfully chilling, well not chilling, but I don't know how else to say it. Poor angel. But I didn't find any mistakes on this. That's good right? Right?! 2

1 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "Wow, thank you! Chilling... i like that word. Hee hee. I almost wish you had found some mistakes, so that I could get better... but what the hey!"
9 Sep 2005:-) Julia Anna Rill
Oh, i love this poem! It is great! You truly know how to make up a good story/poem!!!

1 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "Gee, thank you! I will have to check out your stuff!"
14 Sep 2005:-) Larry N. Morris
A wonderful story. All of my poems are also classic ballads (more or less.)

2 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "mmm, I should go check out your stuff then. It sounds as though it would be good."
18 Oct 200545 Emily
That was so beautiful *sniff* I think I'm going to cry!!! I Love it you should enter it in a competition or something!

63 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "Awe gee thanks emily! Don't cry! <hands tissue>I'm so glad you liked it, and I'll get after you to put your own library up soon!"
2 Nov 200545 Lexi-Morgaine
Hey. It's Alexi Jae and i just wanted to say that i really enjoyed this poem. For someone like me who takes my poetry VERY seriously I really thought that this was very well thought and it painted a beautiful picture.

32 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "Thank you so much! I love concentrating on creating visual images with my writing; I'm glad it worked! Thank you again!"
9 Nov 2005:-) Annie Harrington
I think this is one of your best poems on this site. The rhythm and the wording is just perfect. The flow is excellent as well. Great job!

37 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "Thank you so much! That means so much to me when people say that!"
10 Nov 2005:-) Dan Shevock
well written. Great rhythm. nice rhymes. dark context. (black wings?, did the angel become a demon, or just die?)

2 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "You know, I actually have no idea. Originally it was going to have a sequel, and the black wings were something else coming, like a demon - if you read 'from day to night,' that was going to be the sequel to it, but it wrecked the whole idea. Just take it as a metaphor for now 14."
13 Nov 2006:-) C. 'Liari' Seidel
I did enjoy this very much, however, some of it didn't flow quite as well as I would have wished. You have very good imagery, but some of the wording was almost strained. if you'd like particulars, go ahead and contact me and I'll edit for you.

13 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "Thanks for the comment! Yeah I wrote that a while back now, and I'm intending to go over all my stuff soon and do some editing. A while back meaning - hmmm - about a year or two? I think. I can't malember. Anyway, thanks!"
28 Dec 200645 Anja
Hi!
Okay. An emotion tied by hope and pain. (Something like that)Then you say she has no hope. How does that make sense?

A game never meant to be seen (Again something like that, can't see the actual poem while commenting)
What's that supposed to mean?

As for the rest. The rhyming's magical and the poem is eerily beautiful.

Good work!
22 Mar 2011:-) Michael pixiepie john
thats so sad , though written in
in a beautiful way
i like your use of words and that the rhymes dont feel forced
i like the last verse especially
Not signed in, Add an anonymous comment to this guestbook...    

Your Name:
Your Mail:
   Private message? (Info)



'An Angel Broken - Poem':
 • Created by: :-) Sophia Tula Rose Dique
 • Copyright: ©Sophia Tula Rose Dique. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Angel, Broken, Stone, Tears
 • Categories: Angels, Religious, Spiritual, Holy
 • Views: 976

Bookmark and Share



More by 'Sophia Tula Rose Dique':
Chapter One - Sheni
From Night to Day
Chosen I - The First to Live
Chapter Three - Sheni
Chapter Two - Sheni

Related Tutorials:
  • 'Originality in Fantasy - Taking The Road Less Travelled' by :-)A.R. George
  • 'Description, Dialogue, & Action' by :-)Jessica Barnes
  • Art Education Finder...
  •  
     

    Elfwood™ is a site for Fantasy and Science Fiction art and stories. The site was founded by Thomas Abrahamsson and is maintained by helpful assistants and moderators, owned by the Elfwood AB corporation.

    [More...]