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Sophia Tula Rose Dique

"Prologue - Sheni" by Sophia Tula Rose Dique

SciFi/Fantasy text 7 out of 7 by Sophia Tula Rose Dique.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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This story - I'll admit it - was inspired by my Cartoon watching days. Sort of a combination between Yugioh and Pokemon and Card Captors. Anyway, this is only the prologue, expect better from the real thing! Well, enjoy!
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Prologue

 

The first time a Sheni was captured, it was by the greatest of mages. The immortal beast was held within a slab of stone, runes engraved around the edges to trap and hold the animal. The mages saw the Sheni as a menace – the only beings powerful enough to prey on humans, and the only beings that humans themselves were too weak to attack. So they set out, lugging their immense stones across the land. With these stones they caught and held the Sheni they found, even the most peaceful.

It wasn’t for a long time that they felt the inconvenience of their stones; when they did, they set out to create something that was simpler, lighter, more convenient. Wood was used; then cards. And eventually, their cards were sold to the general populace.

When the first cards had been created, the mages modified them from their original idea. Why not, instead of simply trap the beings, enslave them, so that they must and would obey their captors?

Obey their captors they did. The Sheni could be summoned from their cards at will, forced to obey their holders. The Holders – that is what bearers of the cards began to be called – were usually fierce hunters; the Sheni had to be defeated in combat before they could be enslaved. The Holders employed many tricks to give them the advantage over the immortals. More often than not, a Holder paid mercenaries or villagers to help him, or her, gang up on the beast. Thus were the Sheni enslaved.

The cards went down through the generations. Ones collected by the Holders of a family were passed down to their descendants. It became the fashion for the oldest son, or daughter, of the family to have as many as fifty cards.

The ones who inherited the cards became known as the Bearers. Only people who went out to capture the Sheni themselves were allowed the right to bear the title of Holder. Soon to see, or hear of a Holder became rare. No one wished to risk themselves catching the Sheni, when they could swap their cards with a friend, or receive a card as repayment for a job.

The world forgot that the Sheni had once been feared, powerful – the cards became part of their everyday lives, and soon the cards themselves depleted in worth. It didn’t matter that the most powerful magic ever performed had been placed upon the cards. Bearers were so often seen that their social status was much the same as ever. Only a Holder was respected, and looked upon with awe.

Wild Sheni were sometimes spotted. Most people chose to forget that they had seen them. It was too much effort to make all the announcements to the community, about one lone, wild beast. They often decided that they had been mistaken. The Sheni themselves retreated from civilisation. They had seen what had been done to their brethren. They nurtured a deep dislike of humanity. In some, the dislike blossomed into hatred. Those that hated often attacked and killed any humans that came across their paths. When attacked, many humans were stupid enough to call upon their enslaved Sheni to defend themselves; which made the Sheni more ferocious in their desire to destroy.

As it was generally thought that Sheni could not feel, the humans decided that wild Sheni were in general fierce and bloodthirsty. The fact that all the attacks had been on Bearers passed by them unnoticed; the humans began to fear the wild Sheni, and view them with either hatred or disgust. So the rift between humanity and the wild Sheni grew.

The original creators of the cards had long since passed away. By some, their memories were honoured; by others, cursed. Either way, the cards changed both societies.

 

←- From Night to Day | An Angel Broken - Poem -→

DateNameComment 
31 Aug 2005:-) Debbie Newcomb
Very nice. Poor Sheni, no one thinks they feel. 8 Poor guys, and gals.....

2 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "I feel sorry for them too..."
9 Sep 2005:-) Julia Anna Rill
Oh wow, sounds like a very cool story! I like it a lot and it is not a common theme you chose. Very unique indeed!

1 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "why thank you! I like being unique, but I like reading good comments better!Anyway,I am off to visit your library!"
20 Oct 200545 Emily
Good job sophie, very nice

13 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "Thanks Emily!"
9 Nov 2005:-) Annie Harrington
Mmm. . . much beloved creatures. Very nice beginning. It drew my attention, and the information about the Sheni and how they were captured and turned into cards is very well-written. I shall go read some more!

32 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "<manly arm pump>. You are brilliant - love the comments! The fact that it drew your attention is great - thank you so much for commenting!"
19 Jun 2006:-) Lindsay Verde
Hey, good story. I'll admit, I could definitely see the japanese cartoon influence, but hey, who doesn't like cartoons? 1 The only problem I found was in one of your sentence structures: This part of the first sentence in your second paragraph needs revising "It wasn’t for a long time that they felt the inconvenience" it isn't a very clean sentence, maybe try flipping it around so that you talk about inconvenience first.

2 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "Hey, thanks. I really need to work on my structuring quite a bit, and it's great to get good feedback like that."
5 Jul 2006:-) Patricia M. D´Angelo
You have a very imaginative and wonderful start to this story.

The more you write, the better you will get. Some great advice I've been given is to work at using strong verbs. Try to avoid 'was' as it doesn't keep the excitement level as high.

Example:The immortal beast was held within a slab of stone, runes engraved around the edges to trap and hold the animal.

Runes engraved around the edges of the stone slabs glowed silvery grey, snaring the immortal bests, trapping them within a granite prison.

You have a wonderful idea going here and that is very important, because before any great story first comes a fantastic idea.

2 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "Thank you very much! I love constructive critisism! This 'Prologue' was actually me scrapping bits and pieces together for an idea to write a story, so it's not really very well refined. Also I thought the readers might want a bit of background with the whole sheni-human relationship thing. Anyway, thanks for commenting!"
14 Jul 200645 Anonymous
Goodness, but this is a good story.

1 Sophia Tula Rose Dique replies: "I'm so glad you think so!"
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'Prologue - Sheni':
 • Created by: :-) Sophia Tula Rose Dique
 • Copyright: ©Sophia Tula Rose Dique. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Beasts, Cards, Immortalbeasts, Immortals, Mage, Magic
 • Categories: Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Wizards, Priests, Druids, Sorcerers...
 • Views: 397

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More by 'Sophia Tula Rose Dique':
From Night to Day
Chapter Two - Sheni
Chosen I - The First to Live
An Angel Broken - Poem
Chapter Three - Sheni
Chapter One - Sheni

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