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Brian D. Saul

"Elryn: Chapter 4" by Brian D. Saul

SF&F Picture 4 out of 13 by Brian D. Saul
 
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Erm...not much to say, tis a bit shorter then the last two. Enjoy.
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The pain in my belly began to subside as the last of the energy was compressed into me.  There was a soft glow radiating from my abdomen a moment before it gradually spread through the rest of my body, the feeling of power was overwhelming.  As the glow faded from me the feeling began to disappear as well.  The stone under my feet buckled and knocked me backwards off my feet.  Pain radiated through my back as the broken stones pierced my flesh.  It was then time decided to resume its normal course.  The roof above me finally gave, sharp rock rained down on me, unbearable pain...and blackness....

For one too many times already, reality snapped back on me like a kick to the head.  I let out a scream as I sat up quickly which was muffled by the cloak I had tightly wrapped around me.  I sat in a cold sweat, huddled in a ball for a few minutes as the dream slowly faded from my mind, taking with it the pain that lingered from it as well.  Unsteadily I got to my feet, still visibly shaking from the most disturbing of the dreams yet.

Now I was aware of what happened after I blacked out and saw it all come to its gruesome end, gods I hoped this meant this one was the last of these accursed dreams.  I ran my hand over my belly which seemed as upset at the moment as I felt.  This had been the focal point of the compression before it dispersed throughout me, at that time it felt as though the spell was tearing out my insides.  Now, there was no pain, no physical sign of that trauma, the skin as perfect as the rest of my flesh now...whatever damage had been done must have been healed with the rest.  All that energy within me, it was a wonder it didn’t tear me apart along with the stone.  Instead it seemed as though every ounce of it went to repairing my little body.  It was after all the only explanation I could think as to why I no longer felt the power and was still alive.  Only you Elryn....only you could cast a spell that nearly killed you and then fixed it’s own damage.

Still groggy from my fitful sleep, and just general dizziness as a whole, I carefully made my way down the side of the hill and towards town. (Well guess its more like a small mountain really.)  Judging from the sun I had overslept, it looked to be a little past noon.  That spell Adel used on me last night worked a bit too well it seemed, even now I was still tired.  Not that it was particularly surprising by this point, the exhaustion seemed to be another symptom of whatever the hells I’ve caught.  At least I didn’t have classes today, didn’t have anything today actually.  Tomorrow though was when the work week would start, if I was too ill to even use magic well I wondered where I was going to be.

As I was making my way through the forest around town I saw a few people running by a short ways from me.  One of them looked my way as he ran and came to a sudden stop, nearly hitting a tree in the process.  Whatever was wrong certainly seemed to have his mind otherwise occupied.

“By Meryn there you are Elryn!”  He shouted as he ran over to me, the other people with him continued on towards.  Meryn, the god of luck, there was definitely a god that wasn’t paying too much attention to me lately.  Merick once told me he was named after him.  Guess it fit enough Merick was an unusually lucky man, he did find me after all.  How it is I also shared half of the name and had such terrible luck lately was beyond me though.  Nonetheless in all fairness that really was luck on both our parts.  I got a place to live, some semblance of a family, and a place in a magic academy.  While he got a very headstrong student who occasionally blew things up.  A fair trade I’d say.

I gave the figure a wave and started to walk over to him.  As I approached I saw it was Filik, one of the older students at the academy.  A friendly fella, though most folk on the island were, this place had a knack of bringing that out in people.

“We’ve been looking all over for you, where have you been?”  He asked as he ran up to me, rather out of breath.

“Oh, I dozed off on the mountain.  Darn that girl, didn’t Adel tell anyone?” I sighed.  “So what’s the matter?”

“The mountain hm?  No one thought to look there actually, thought you only went up there to sleep when you were with Eryk.  But any way, she didn’t, I haven’t seen her all day actually.”

“Well he was asleep by time I decided to go, just didn’t want to wake him.  Adel was up late too so likely sleeping in late herself.  But enough about them, what’s so important you needed to find me so urgently?”

“Oh yes!  The machine, pump, whatever Merick calls that thing again...there’s something wrong with it.  No hot water, and very little cold for that matter.”

“Aw hells, I thought Merick fixed that problem for good?”  I said with an irritated groan.  The pump as Merick called it was an ancient piece of machinery, apparently kept operational by the townsfolk for generations.  Merick’s family to be exact for some reason was solely responsible for keeping it working.  It really was a remarkable device.  Kept both hot and cold water flowing through the town, took care of waste water, irrigated the fields, and probably a few other things I was unaware of.  Only thing we ever had to usually do was lay the piping for it to the houses and the occasional repair.

“Apparently good wasn’t good enough.  But as he’s still away the responsibility falls on you you know.”  I let out another annoyed groan, even if I wasn’t officially his daughter I was the last family he had.  It was part of the deal made when a student is accepted onto the island, they become an official part of the family of whoever brought them. (There was however never any change of names, first, last, or otherwise.)  Some kind of old town tradition, as odd as it was it really was a small thing to ask all things considered.  Now Merick had taught me a decent amount about the machine, I even knew where among that mess of a house he kept the plans for it.  Or at least one copy of them, I knew for a fact he kept several, he was always losing the things.  But this would be the first I’d actually have to fiddle with it, and without him around either. “Ugh....damn him, off collecting books when we need him here.  Alright, let me find the plans and I’ll see what I can do with it.”

He nodded and accompanied me back to town.  People about town were slowly going about their normal routines, with a few obvious exceptions.  There were those that were returning to town, apparently word that I had been found got around quite fast.  Then there were the people milling around town with buckets of water and such for cooking, bathing, etc.  I really wish more of the townsfolk were trained to fix that thing.  I mean really, what would happen if something happened to Merick and myself?  I’m sure after a while they’d find the plans and figure it out, but that’s rather beside the point.  “Say Filik, where’s Eryk?”

He thought a moment as we walked through town.  “Ahh that’s right, while some of the others went off looking for you May had him go looking around Merick’s.  He’s been there more then any of us, you aside.”  He hadn’t come to search for me?  Well, I guess with winter approaching us getting the pump working was of the highest priority.  And if I knew May, she didn’t give him any say in the matter.

I however couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of him digging through mountains of books.  Knowing the mess in there poor Eryk was probably buried under one of those teetering piles Merick had in the storage rooms.  I really wish that man would get more shelves.  “Well thanks Filik.  If you could, tell one of the elders to please meet me there shortly.”  I told him as I opened the door to the house, my tone making it clear I wasn’t simply asking.  “I’m sure one of them knows about that thing, and I’d REALLY rather not work on it without someone else who knows what they’re doing there.”  I gave him a smile and a wave before I walked into the house not giving him any chance to protest.  The towns Elders were nice old men (and women) and all, but it wasn’t common place to just tell one of them what to do like that.  Well I’d have asked, but Filik will likely make it sound like a demand, he never did like bothering the elders for anything.  People should learn they’re old, not broken.

Already I could hear the sounds of shuffling about in one of the storage rooms.  The actual house itself was small, living room, dining room, bathroom, 2 bedrooms, (that may sound big, but they’re small rooms) but he also had 2 large store rooms each nearly as big as the house itself.  They were unfortunately not big enough, a few small shelves on the walls, but primarily piles and piles of books with small paths around them.  The whole house was like this, my bedroom aside because I’ve never let him do that to my room.  Grinning wickedly I hung up the cloak and slowly walked towards the room I heard Eryk in.  No doubt he was digging though one of the many book piles looking for the plans.  “Good Morning!”  I shouted from a few feet behind him.

He let out a startled shout as he wheeled about and jumped to his feet, stumbling backwards a few steps as well.  I giggled wildly as he flailed his arms in a futile attempt to keep his balance, inevitably failing and falling into the books.  After laughing uncontrollably for a few minutes I walked over and helped him dig himself from under the books that had toppled onto him.  Okay so I hadn’t intended that to happen, really felt sorry for the poor guy especially after what I did to his nose yesterday.  “You’re trying to kill me....aren’t you?”  He groaned as he moved a few books off himself.

“I’m...” I tried my best to stifle another giggle.  “I’m really sorry Eryk, I didn’t expect you to jump quite so high.  And the look on your face!”  I broke out into a fit of laughter again.

“I wasn’t expecting some evil little girl to walk up behind me either.  Now come on, at least help me up.”  

Still giggling I took his hand and helped pull him from the pile.  As he got to his feet he flashed a grin, placed a finger on my forehead, and pushed.  Already rather off balance from helping him up, his little push finished it off.  With a startled gasp I too fell backwards into one of the piles, it promptly toppled over on and buried me below them much the way Eryk was.  “Ow...”  I had that one coming.

“Come on, we’ve got plans to find.”  I heard Eryk say as he left the room.  Bastard, I at least helped him up.  Then again I also nearly broke his nose with soap, so yes, I definitely had this coming.  It took me a good five minutes before I finally wormed my way from under the pile, located Eryk, and gave him a good swift kick in the behind for leaving me there.  Just because I deserved it didn’t mean I could just forget about it.

“Now!  As I was going to say before you so ruthlessly buried me in books.  If you want the plans you’re looking in the wrong area.  He keeps a set of them in his room, third shelf from the wall, second shelf down, hidden in chapter eight of the 15th book from the left, ancient history I believe it is.”

Eryk just stood confused a moment, mouthing to himself what I just said as if trying to make sense of it.  Now I know why I never tried speaking half these odd details Merick taught me, I just said all that and it sounded odd even to me.

“Oh just...”  My words were cut short as a wave of dizziness suddenly hit me, I bolted to the bathroom just in time to empty the contents of my stomach.  Yet again I found myself washing out my mouth, I was growing sick of doing this so often.  My nausea today seemed to be getting gradually worse as I went.  Odd since its been relatively stable the past few days, and has never just hit me out of nowhere like that...well, at least not after I’ve been awake and with it for a while.  I knew I forgot to do something last night, I should have gotten those herbs from Tyra.  Well that would just have to wait until I fixed the pump.

“...Are you okay Elryn?”  I heard Eryk ask from the doorway as he slowly walked into the bathroom.

I leaned against the counter a moment rubbing my upset stomach waiting for the worst of it to pass.  It didn’t, it didn’t get any worse, but had not gotten any better either.  At least I expected it now, easier to will something away when you knew it was coming.  Or, so I hoped.  “Yeah...  I’m fine.  Lets just get those plans and get the pump fixed, I have to talk to Tyra again today.”

He wandered behind me and rubbed my shoulders a bit.  “I wish I knew what was going on with you Elryn...”  He softly said as he rubbed, tempted as I was to protest it felt too good to.

“Lower a little...  And its nothing to worry about, Tyra should have something for it by now.”

He obliged my request and rubbed a little lower.  “Not just that, you up and disappeared on us today too.”

I let out a sigh as he rubbed a rather sore spot on my shoulders, relieving the pain quite effectively.  I’d kill to know where he learned to do this so effectively.  “I did no such thing, I just went for a walk and slept under the stars.  I told Adel to tell you where I was because I knew you’d worry otherwise.”

“You what?!  In your condition?  Darn it Elryn, you’re in no shape to be doing such a thing.  Its only getting colder out, what if you make yourself worse?”

“My condition?  You don’t know anything about my condition, its not as bad as you think.  I’ll be fine dammit.”  As much as I wanted to just stay there, I drug myself free of the comforting feeling of his hands.  I just didn’t want to discuss this matter any further.  I could actually feel myself getting angry at him over the matter and I so rarely ever lost my temper with anyone.  How could I just tell him neither myself nor Tyra knew what was wrong?   “Now come on, we’ve got things to do.”  I commented quickly as I left and made my way to Merick’s room.  If I was going to control my emotions like Tyra said I needed to, I’d have to try and remain calm, and that discussion definitely was not calming.

I wandered over to where Merick last put a copy of the plans, and just as I hoped they were still there.  First page of chapter 8, right where he said it would be.  Reading always did a good job of calming my nerves so I gave the chapter a quick look.  This particular chapter gave details on the Ancients last, and final, war.  The Great Burn as it was called.  The Ancients apparently unleashed magic so powerful upon themselves it tore continents apart, scorched the skies, and left the planet in ruins.  The life spheres they enchanted the world with are said to be the sole reason the planet ever recovered at all.  There is little record of what happened to mankind after that though.  Most vague records recovered led us to believe that they hid underground for hundreds of years afterwards waiting for the surface to become livable again.  Using what magical talent they had to stay alive, but simply living day to day was all that occupied their minds it seemed.  Over those years knowledge of the past was gradually lost, becoming merely stories passed down through the generations, a remembrance of a time lost.  Closing the book again I sat it on the bed and stowed the plans in a small pocked in my robe.

“Are you sure you can even fix the thing?”  Eryk asked me as I wandered out of Merick’s room.

“Not really, no.”

“...Just don’t blow it up, okay?”

I stood there a moment and looked up into his eyes before I slowly reached my hand up.  He just stood his ground with a smirk on his face as I gently placed my hand on his cheek.  He however wasn’t expecting me to move it to the side quickly and flick his nose with my finger before giggling and running off.  Eryk took up flight behind me, holding his poor nose.

As I ran out the door and into the street another wave of dizziness struck me.  It wasn’t nauseating like last time though.  It was as though I could feel the strength leave me as my legs gave out and I fell forward into the dirt.  With a curse I struck the ground with my fist as I pulled myself weakly to my knees.  Eryk and a few others, I didn’t catch who though, were at my side in a matter of moments.  “I can get up on my own!”  I growled as I smacked away a few hands before someone grabbed me from behind and hefted me to my feet.

“This is no time to act all tough Elryn, now let me help.”  I heard Eryk tell me from behind.

I wheeled about quickly.   “No!  I’m fine dammit!  The last thing I need is....”  I caught myself mid sentence, my hand raised as if to strike him.

Eryk and the others stood in shocked silence as I stood there.  First Thern, and now this.  No one had ever seen me raise a hand in anger, hells no ones seen me truly angry at anything before.  Now here I stood having done it again in only a few days.  I lowered my head and stammered an apology before I ran off.

I collapsed rather exhausted and out of breath against a tree about halfway to the tunnel that led to the pump.  Looks like Eryk finally listened to me and left me alone, in my state he would have been able to catch up to me easily had he wanted to.  The worst part was for once I wished he’d have ignored me and come after me.

With a deep sigh I tried to pull myself to my feet.  Maybe it was best I be alone for a little while after all, after that I simply couldn’t trust myself to control my mood in my present condition.  I took a step away from the tree, my legs gave out on me again and I collapsed to the ground.  All that running took more out of me then I thought it did.  But there wasn’t time to rest now, the Elder would be waiting for me and I had a job to do.  That should be enough to take my mind off things for a while I hope.  I crawled over to a large branch that was laying on the ground and used it as a crutch to help me stand and walk with.  Gods, only eighteen and here I was limping through the forest on a stick because I couldn’t even stand under my own power.  No one, not even the Elders, in town needed a cane.  This really was by far the height of my humiliation so far.

The tunnel leading to the pump was hidden away in the forest a ways from town, in a small outcropping of trees near the northeastern side of the mountain.  It was a small hatch built into the ground under some bushes, leading to a flight of stairs which wound deep into the earth.  Rather honestly not sure why it was hidden so well, most of the townsfolk knew where it was by now.  The walk down them was long and tiring normally but it was even more so in my weakened state, even longer still because of how much trouble I had walking period.

“You know girl...”  An old voice called from off to my side as I walked (limped was more like it) into the entrance room, he sounded slightly annoyed.  “When Filik walked into the council chamber and said someone ask for, no, demanded one of us at the pump we were all a little surprised.  Its not often people come and demand something of us you know.”

“Yeah well, if someone doesn’t demand these things nothing gets done around here.”  I replied in a cocky little tone.  The man that stood before me, Cai D’Nyr, was one of five town elders.  Like the other elders he of course lived up to the title, looked to have been at least 90 years old.  But like the others he looked surprisingly good for his age, and had the energy of a man only half that.  He stood confidently at roughly 5'3" and was dressed in a long grey robe.  His face old, wrinkled, and showed easily the signs of both age and experience.

We exchanged glares for a moment before we both laughed and he strode over to me.  “We were of course not at all surprised when we learned it was you making the demand.”

I gave him a small grin as I leaned on the stick.  “I’d have come and asked myself...”  He looked at me a little disbelievingly.  “No really, I would have.  But we were in a hurry and all, and I knew Filik wouldn’t have passed along my request if I gave him any say in the matter.”

He gave another small laugh.  “Aye, he’s a good boy and all, been here for almost ten years now you know.  But treats us like we’re old men...”

“You are you know.”  I cut in with a small giggle.

He cleared his throat before continuing. “And you know we hate being pampered almost as much as you do.  Speaking of old men, you’re rather looking like one yourself with that cane there supporting you.”

“Aye, children these days grow up so fast.” I responded with a fake sniffle in an old sounding tone.

“Smart assed little thing, ain’t ya.”  He commented with a grin as he set his hand on my head and added unnecessary amounts of emphasis on the ‘little’ part of his phrase.  “But seriously now, has your illness really gotten that bad?”

“Ugh...not you too Cai.  I’m tired, that’s all.  Now please, you don’t like being pampered so don’t do it to me.  We’ve got work to do.”  I told him as I made my way towards the hallway leading to the pump.  The room we were in and the hallway leading there was constructed of smooth white stone.  No carvings or other signs, but the stone was polished to such a shine one could actually see their own reflection in it.  The low white glow of a few permanent magical light orbs, the occasional sound of dripping water, and the dull hum of the pump made for a positively eerie scene though. (Simply beautiful, but eerie all the same.)

“Even we know when to listen to that nagging voice that says we need help.  You should learn to listen to that voice Elryn, if something happens to you in that room you’re on your own.”  He told me as he followed slowly behind.

“I know, I can’t expect you to carry me out of here.”

“Didn’t Merick tell you?”

I stopped and looked at him a bit confused.  “...Tell me what?”

“I’ll have to have a word with him when he returns.  There is a reason this thing is the responsibility of Merick’s family.  Only someone of his family can enter the room, and right now that’s you.”

Now that I thought about it, I did vaguely remember Merick mention something about that a while ago.  It seemed that old tradition was for some reason more then simple tradition after all, interesting.  I considered this a bit more as I made my way towards the room, Cai following behind me.  “So if you can’t come in with me, why didn’t you just decline?”

“Would you rather do this alone?  Besides, if anything is actually broken just give me the part and I can most likely repair it.  I don’t believe Merick taught you that spell yet, did he?”

No wonder Merick always send me off to do other things while he was repairing the thing, he was holding out on me.  Had a spell to fix things all along and he never taught it to me, I’d definitely have to speak to him about that when he returned.  A smirk crossed Cai’s face as he watched me, I guess I didn’t do a good job of hiding my expressions.  Surely he didn’t just let that information slip accidentally either.

He took a seat on the ground and pulled out a small book after we reached the end of the hallway.  “Go ahead, just give me a yell if you need me.”

The pump was housed in a room roughly 100ft square.  It was constructed of a different type of stone then the rest of the place though.  The stone was polished to a reflective shine like the rest, but not a solid white, there were instead veins of various colors running though it.  A glowing ball of magical light hung near the ceiling providing the place with a soft white light.

Now the device itself was relatively small compared to the room that housed it, a sphere only about ten feet across.  A small stone walkway circled a large pool that took up most of the room, the pump sat in the middle of it with two walkways led up to and around it.  Pipes of all shapes and sizes snaked around the room and into the walls, leading back to town, the fields, the ocean, and only the gods knew where else.  I dug out the plans and looked them over as I proceeded into the room.  Merick had shown me the machine several times, even which panels were safely removable, but I still wasn’t sure if I could make enough sense out of these plans to actually do any good.  The pump itself was a strange mixture of both machinery and magic, more magic over all then machinery though.  I had only vaguely heard of this kind of thing in the largest of cities on the mainland so it boggled my mind how a little backwater town like this got such a piece of machinery.  It was a nice luxury though so I certainly wasn’t going to argue.

I sat down in front (or was it behind?) of the machine and slowly got to work trying to just figure out what was wrong with the thing.  Any other time I’d hope it was something magically wrong with it, I could repair a weakened enchantment in most cases.  Normally such things weren’t needed, for the most part enchantments were permanent unless intentionally dispelled.  But now I’d be at a complete loss, and those parts usually couldn’t be removed the way the mechanical ones could.  The low hum of the machine grew louder as I started to remove the various access panels, there were twelve of them altogether, opening into all the major components of the machine.  Lucky for me whatever metal this thing was made out of was unusually light because the panels were quite large. Plans in hand I gradually went about comparing everything with what it looked like on the sheet, mumbling to myself as I went about the work.

“No.  No.  Not that either.  That looks o...oh hm, now that shouldn’t look like that.”  After about two hours of looking over dozens of parts (and two hours of feeling my strength slowly draining away) I finally came across one that didn’t look quite as I thought it should.  It glowed, well flickered, with energy.  Clearly it shouldn’t have been flickering like that, nothing in this thing flickered.  Not thinking I reached in and was greeted by a shock powerful enough to knock me off the walkway and into the water.  I floated there a moment feeling slightly numb from the shock, my arm of course more so then the rest of me.  Cai was leaning on the barrier that kept him from the room and was shouting my name.  I waved my arm into the air to show him I was at least still alive as I slowly swam over to the edge and pulled myself out.

He just laughed when he saw I was okay.  “Turn it off next time!”

I looked over at him with a rather sheepish grin on my face as I tried to stifle a laugh myself.  It may have hurt but it probably was a rather amusing thing to watch.  Had learned years ago its good to be able to laugh at ones own mistakes.  I laid my robe next to me, it was too heavy to wear wet, and walked back over to the pump.  This time I remembered to turn the thing off.  After an odd mixture of a switches flipped and spoken words to disable the enchantments, the hum slowly died down and the sound of running water ceased.  Reaching into the pump again I undid the large cylindrical component.  It was beyond me what the thing did but anyone could see it wasn’t supposed to have a large crack running down the side.  Judging by the shock I got from it it probably helped with power somehow, or, something like that.  I walked slowly back to Cai, unable to use my makeshift cane because of the size of the component, and still feeling a bit too weak to go much faster.

“You can barely walk Elryn, leave that thing with me and I’ll get it fixed, then you can return tomorrow and finish the job.  We can live without that thing for a few days until you regain your strength.”

I grinned and handed him the component as I leaned on the doorframe.  “Oh just leave me be, how often is it I really get to return one of many favors to this town?  Its easy enough to get that back in, let me just finish here and we’ll go.”

“Stubborn little...  Fine, but the moment its done you’re going to go home and rest wether you like it or not.”  He grabbed the part from me and began to cast the repair spell he mentioned.  I made note to pay attention to every subtle hand movement and word he used in it.  This was a spell I’d have to try to do on my own later.  “There, now hurry up.”  He told me as he handed the component back to me, the crack now completely fixed.  Impressive spell indeed, not very showy but it worked wonders.

I stumbled slightly as I pushed away from the wall but quickly regained my balance again.  I could feel Cai’s eyes on me as I made my way back to the pump, my strength was failing me with every passing moment.  I shook the haze from my head as I proceeded to the right access panel and carefully replaced the component.  The pump hummed loudly and the sound of rushing water again filled the room as I reactivated the device.  I picked up my makeshift cane, left my robe behind, and limped my way back to the doorway.  I’d pick up my robe and put the access panels back on it later.

“Told you...it was just...a quick fix.”  I told him weakly as I crossed the barriers threshold.  My willpower finally gave out on me and I crumpled to the floor, too weak to stand anymore.  I looked up at Cai, weak, and worried, as my vision began to rapidly dim on me.  That little nagging voice in the back of my mind was screaming frantically at me.  For the first time in days I dropped my stubbornness and asked for help before my senses faded to nothing.

***

Morning came quickly, anything but quietly though.  I awoke with a start to someone shaking me vigorously.  “Eryk, hey Eryk wake up!”

“Huh, wha..?”  I rolled over lazily and looked up at whoever it was with one eye open.  “Oh, May, good morning.”  May had joined the school shortly after Elryn did.  A surprisingly tall girl, a inch or so above myself actually.  She was dressed in a flowing blue robe trimmed in silver and generally wore a plain white dress underneath.  Though her robe was closed today so I was simply assuming it was true this time too.

“Morning to you too.  But I’m afraid its not very good.  Do you know where Elryn is?”

I snapped to attention and sat up at hearing Elryn’s name.  “Why, where, what’s wrong?”

May jumped back a few steps startled and looked at me slightly confused a moment, then giggled slightly as she realized what I was really talking about.  “Oh, no no, there’s nothing wrong with her.  Although half the towns out looking for her, we need her help.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed backwards onto my pillow again, still half asleep.  “...Wait, what do you mean need her help?  She should be at home.”

May shook her head.  “She’s not, no one in towns seen her since yesterday actually.  There’s something wrong with the pump and without Merick here, she’s the only other one that can fix it.”

I let out a yawn as I pulled myself out of bed, all of what she said still not clearly getting through to me.  “She’s just a little thing, probably just didn’t see her behind all the books.  She was sleeping on a chair when last I saw her.”

“Now that’s just mean Eryk.”  May tried unsuccessfully to stifle a giggle.  “But seriously she’s not there, we looked all over the place.”

That definitely was not what I wanted to hear so early in the morning.  “Did you check with Tyra?  She hasn’t been feeling well lately, so may be over there.”

She shook her head again.  “Tyra hasn’t seen her either.”

“Damn...  I’ll go see if I can find her then.”

“Aaaactually...”  I didn’t like how she said that one bit.  “There’s enough people looking for her, we need your help finding the plans to the machine.  And you’re the only one besides Elryn that vaguely knows their way around that mess Merick calls a house.”

I cringed at the mere thought of it.  I could sooner pluck gold from the air then I could find a specific piece of paper in that house of his.  “But I know her better then anyone, I...”

She waved a finger at me.  “Sorry no can do, I don’t give the orders I just pass them along.  Now if you really want to question the Elders....”

“No no, I’ll go!”  I cut in quickly.  The council had watched over the town for generations now.  The elders weren’t exactly ones to rule the town with an iron fist, come to think of it I’ve never known them to mete out punishment of any kind.  But it was out of simple respect that we listened to them, they did after all help keep things sane and in working order.

“Great!”  She said merrily as she clasped her hands together in front of her chest before she turned and walked towards the door.  “Wish you luck.”  She added with a wink as she left.  I swear that girl was too happy for her own good at times.

With a grumble I grabbed my robe from the rack and wandered into the kitchen for a quick breakfast before leaving.  The townspeople were going about their usual daily business with the exception of a select few who were carrying around buckets of water.  There was a well near the center of the town for just such occasions luckily, that and it likely dated back to before the pump was even installed.  Don’t think even Merick knew when that was.  It generally wasn’t needed but it was handy for occasions like this.

“What have I gotten myself into...” I muttered to myself as I walked into Merick’s house and surveyed the mess.  One piece of paper, one among piles and piles of it.  For something as ancient and important as the pump was to the well being of this town you’d think there would be a copy of the plans for it somewhere where they couldn’t get lost!  As I looked at the broken down little red chair Elryn had been sound asleep on only a few hours ago I couldn’t help but wonder where she had gotten off to.  She even had the opportunity to fiddle with an ancient piece of machinery.  Even if Merick did show her the thing, I doubted he ever let her touch it, she’d likely love the change to get her hands into it.  I idly wondered if somewhere in this mess I could find a spell to keep track of that foolish little girl.
    
I spent the next few hours in the storage room that made up the western wing of his house.  The place was packed wall to wall, floor to ceiling, with books of every shape, size, and age.  Books of prophecy, fiction, Faerie tales, even books on actual Faeries.  Small, playful, magical little things.  I’ve never seen one myself of course, but according to the books they actually did exist in remote places of the world.  It even gave names of those places but they were written in the Ancient’s language.  So sadly it was very possible that what Faeries did exist were wiped out in The Great Burn or one of their other wars.

Books of Myth and Legend, of heroes long dead and long forgotten.  Ancient history, old maps, records of old wars, atrocities, horrors done by the Ancients....so much on the destruction they caused, but not much on the good they did.  The Life Sphere enchantment, the Demon War, (one of the few wars the Ancients themselves weren’t responsible for) their cities, accomplishments, magic.  It seemed everyone wanted to remember what they did wrong and only a few wanted to know the good.  Perhaps because of The Great Burn the surviving humans just wanted it to be well known what they did wrong so as not to repeat it again...  Spend enough time on the mainland and unfortunately it becomes very clear a lot of people obviously didn’t read such books.

One detail I found interesting, if not slightly disquieting was when I found some newer maps of the world.  They had all the major, and not so major landmarks.  The five main continents, Miiru, Nayrn, Pelthais, Sarus, and Colraen.  The Shattered Lands, which some believed to have once been a 6th continent, but was now a huge mass of hundreds of islands.  (Most of which someone seems to have taken the time to map, and name, on this particular map.) Seemed to have all the major cities, and even most of the smaller ones.  In fact even my home town of Thay was on here, a little village near the northern tip of Pelthais.  Now I knew where this island should be on these, a ways west of the Sarus coast, or at least I thought that was where it should have been.  Much as I hated sailing I don’t think I was that out of it for the trip.  But as I looked over the maps there weren’t any signs it even existed.  It was a remote little place, but surely someone should have mapped it by now.  Come to think of it I haven’t seen a ship since I’ve been here, it wasn’t that they were rare, they just plain didn’t come at all.

“Good Morning!”

I let out a startled cry as I jumped to my feet and wheeled about in the process, where I flailed in a useless attempt to keep my balance and stumbled backwards into the pile of books.  It then did what it had been threatening to all day.  Fall on me.  I did however catch a glimpse of a very familiar purple glow as I went, Elryn, of course, who other then Elryn would do something like this.  As I slowly dug myself from under the books (having lost the one with the map in it, damn.) I could make out hysterical laughter from under the pile, unmistakably that of that evil little mageling Elryn. Happy as I was to see her I got back at her for it though, payback by this point was only fair.

Casually I had went into the next room to continue looking, I should have helped her out but I still had my nose to make up for and surely she could understand a little vengeance.  It didn’t quite surprise me when she finally walked in, kicked me, then went about making me sound like a fool for spending all this time searching.  Although I couldn’t quite make sense of the directions she gave, I didn’t see how she could either, at least I knew she knew where to find them.  Our conversation was cut short by a sudden onset of her illness, a symptom I was rather unaware she had.  I couldn’t help but think my worrying was well founded and that perhaps she was slowly getting worse.

Unsure what there was I could to help I just walked up behind her and gave a small back rub.  A friend back home had taught me how to do so very effectively, Elryn reminded me of her in so many ways, just a lot more stubborn.  As I did so I had questioned her about her whereabouts this morning and found rather to my dismay she had been outside the whole night.  As ill as she was right now and she spent the whole night outside in the cold, darn girl was going to make herself worse if she kept it up.  She didn’t like it at all when I brought that up however and stormed out of the room towards Merick’s.  

I knew Elryn long enough to know that she was likely hiding something from me.  Just something about the way she acted when I brought it up was all wrong, she usually wasn’t this reclusive about things. (Okay so she usually was with her business, but even that would only go so far.) Her walk as well carried a very subtle limp to it, not that of injury, but one of exhaustion.  With a small sigh I followed her into the hall and watched her pick out the book from the shelf and pull the plans from it.  Instead of coming right out she leaned against the shelf for a few minutes and paged through the book.  That wasn’t too surprising though, it was a history book after all and Elryn was really into ancient history.  She probably read quite a few of the history books in here, but she never seemed to tire of paging through them time and time again.  It was an interesting thing to watch her read really given how effectively she could hold a book on her arm with just a few fingers, and page through it with another.  

Wars were of course the main topic of most of the books, and she could likely recite the names of them all and the cause believed to be behind them.  What really interested her though was the ancients use of magic and such.  Which while not apparently much different from our own, was for some reason vastly stronger...as the Life Spheres floating around could attest to.  I was fairly certain the spell she used was crafted from incantations she found in those books as well.

A few minutes later she set aside the book, stowed the plans, and left the room.  On our way out she demonstrated how much just resting a little helped her mood, by inflicting more pain upon my poor nose.  That mood sadly lasted only a few seconds before she collapsed outside his house.  She had snapped at anyone trying to help her and in fact nearly struck me after I helped her to her feet.  That mood as well only lasted a short time before she caught herself and ran off after a short apology    

I wanted with all my heart to pursue her, but I’ve never seen her just snap like that before. The look of horror that marred her otherwise beautiful eyes before she ran off was one I’d never forget, and something about it right now told me she’d rather just be alone.

Someone walked up behind me and placed their hand on my shoulder.  “Don’t worry, she’ll be okay.”

There was a chuckle off to my side a little as someone else chimed in.  “Aye, that girls too stubborn to let an illness get in the way.  She’ll be fine after some rest.”  I wasn’t very surprised to learn others knew about her illness by now. Gossip in this town spread faster than a fire among dry leaves.  I couldn’t blame them for trying to cheer me up though, it just wasn’t working, not after all I’ve just seen.

“Making a scene again I see.”  I heard yet another voice call from behind, female this time.  “Come on everyone, you’ve got things to do.  Watching these two fight isn’t anything new.”  The person stated in a gentle yet commanding voice.  There were a few words of apology from the handful people around me before they dispersed to their normal daily business.  The voice was that of Jura Atih, one of the town Elders.  A short woman, only an inch or two taller then Elryn actually.  She had long white hair and soft facial features rather deceiving for her age.  Her voice managed to command respect and yet at the same time maintained an overall soft almost motherly tone.

“Good afternoon Jura.  We’ve found the plans as asked, but I don’t know if that’s where Elryn’s going.”

“Oh I do hope so, Cai will be very irritated if she’s late.  What was it about this time dear?”  She was right on one thing, Elryn and myself fighting really wasn’t anything new to watch.  We usually never meant anything by our little arguments though, and gods know it never escalated to what happened here before.

“Cai?  Oh no, don’t tell me she barged in on you all when she heard she’d have to fix that thing.”  Most people in town had a healthy respect for the elders, treated them with care, never asked much of them, and just generally left them alone.  Elryn however, now she was another matter.  It wasn’t that she disrespected them or anything, she held them in as high a regard as everyone else.  Yet at the same time she treated them the same way she’d treat anyone else, and she had no qualms just walking into council room and asking one of them to come help her with something.  (One of them generally obliged any way though, which had always surprised me.)

“Oh heavens no...  She had Filik do it for her.”  She let out a small laugh as I smacked my forehead.  As if doing it herself wasn’t bad enough, she probably didn’t give the poor guy any say in the matter.  “But enough about us dear, you were telling me about your recent fight I believe?”  Actually I wasn’t, but it seemed she wasn’t going to let me avoid it.

“I’m sure you’ve heard by now that she’s quite sick.  But you know how she is, she refuses to listen or accept help from anyone.  Stupid girls going to only make herself worse if she keeps this up.”

She let out a small chuckle, I failed to see what was so amusing though.  “Headstrong little thing isn’t she.  You know if I didn’t know better I’d think you two got your roles mixed up somewhere....  You act like a worried old lady at times, and she acts like the typical stubborn, bullheaded man.”

“You may be right about Elryn.  But I do NOT act like a worried old lady!”

“Now Eryk dear.” She grabbed my hand and we started to walk nowhere in particular. “How often since she awoke have you worried about her?”

“Not all that often.”  She looked up at me, the gaze from those soft green eyes of hers practically dragged the truth out of me.  It was the kind of look a mother gave her child to get them to do something.  A look Jura could get to work on nearly anyone in town.  “I...well...okay, so most of the time...”  She smiled contently at my answer.  “But that does not make me an old lady!”

“Maybe not, but it does make you perfect for her.”  She added with a wink.  I walked right into that, was everyone in town trying to make something more out of our friendship then there was?  “But seriously dear.  You’re going to worry yourself sick if you keep this up.  Elryn is Elryn, that is just the way she is.  Don’t crowd her, just be there for her, she’ll accept that before she’ll accept your worrying any day, you should know that by now.”

I sighed in defeat.  She was of course right, Elryn by no means liked being worried over and she made that fact clear often. “But I can’t just stand by her side and watch herself make matters worse, you know that by now too Jura.  I’ve watched her get gradually weaker since she awoke, worse yet I don’t think Tyra can help her.”    

“Cai will watch after her for the time being, I’m sure even she has the sense to get across the barrier should she really need the help.  Ahh that reminds me, all this talking nearly made me forget where I was going.  Walk with me a bit more, I have to pay Tyra a visit, she needed my help with something.  Maybe we can get that nose fixed too, what happened to it?”

“....Elryn happened.  Her aim with soap is as good as her aim with a spell.”  Jura looked at my nose a moment as we walked, then proceeded to laugh.  Okay so maybe it was a little amusing, but darn it, it hurt!  As we walked she tried to talk about anything but Elryn, I of course didn’t make her job easy since Elryn was all that was on my mind at the time.  

She eventually had some success though, got me talking about home and such.  I had joined about two years before Elryn did. Even when talking about myself my thoughts wandered back to her somehow.  I was brought here from the mainland by one of the permanent members of the town (created here in other words, not brought from the mainland like most students, most permanent residents seemed to make very important note of the distinction for some reason.) by the name of Kaer.  A nice man with a flare for swords as well, not much of a mage but his skill with a weapon was incredibly impressive.  Much like Merick he’d visit the mainland often, though to improve his skills instead of collect mountains of books.  Last I saw him was last year some time.  I had hopes he was still alive, as did we all, but it apparently was not like him to disappear for so long.

The short walk I realized when we reached Tyra’s had instead turned into, judging by the sun, roughly a one hour hike.  I hadn’t even noticed the time as I spoke with Jura, but I’m sure that was her intent all along.  The conversation was fairly one sided however, I tried asking a bit about herself but to little surprise she claimed there wasn’t much of interest to talk about.  She’s lived her all her life, just as her parents did, and their parents, etc, etc...

“Jura, come in, come in.”  Tyra politely motioned for both of us to enter.  “Surprised to see you here Eryk.”

I gave her a small smile. “Well without classes today, and not much else to do...”

“I dragged him along.”  Jura interrupted with a chuckle as I followed her inside.

“Thought so...  Well right this way, what I needed you for actually concerns....”  Tyra trailed off a bit as she looked back at me.  “Hm, would you mind waking Adel?  Hasn’t been down all day, probably stayed out too late and overslept again.”

Grudgingly I agreed and slowly made my way upstairs, trying to pick out pieces of their conversation as I went.  I knew what she was going to say and why she sent me off, whatever it was it involved Elryn, I was sure of it.  Jura thought I worried too much as is though to tell me anything, and I know for a fact Tyra wouldn’t.  Unfortunately I couldn’t make out any of their conversation, but it couldn’t be good if Tyra had to ask the help of one of the Elders to finish medicine of any sort.

I knocked loudly a few times on Adel’s door.  “Come on Adel!”  I waited a few minutes with no reply before turning the knob slowly and peering inside.  “Adel?”  Much to my surprise she wasn’t there, now that was strange.  It wasn’t like Tyra to not know where Adel was.  Again their conversation stopped as I walked downstairs quickly to break the news to her.

“Really?  I could have sworn I felt her up there earlier.”  Tyra answered kind of absentmindedly, clearly her attention was on the concoction she was mixing.  “Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll be back from wherever she is later.  Maybe out collecting herbs or something, I mentioned to her last night I thought I’d need some today.  Turns out I didn’t after all.”

I guess I couldn’t really argue with logic like that, she would know Adel best and in all fairness I only really just got to know her somewhat well just recently.  “Is that stuff for Elryn?”

“Go, shoo.”  Jura scolded as she swatted my hand away from the pot.  “Yes it’s for Elryn, should do wonders for her.  Now here, have some tea or something and make yourself comfortable, it’s hard working with you hovering over us like that.  I’m sure she’ll stop by here after she’s finished fixing that thing.”  She thrust a small cup of what smelled like mint tea into my hands and gently nudged me towards the kitchen door.

She closed, and locked, the kitchen door behind me.  They seemed intent on keeping me out for whatever reason, fair enough I guess even I didn’t like being bothered while trying to cook something.  Even if in this case it was an odd smelling concoction of some kind.  I took a sip of the tea and paced around the room a bit before I finally settled on the sofa.  I sat there for...well, I wasn’t really sure how long.  I rather lost track of time as I sat there drinking the tea she gave me, before I knew it I could see the sun through a nearby window.  I shouldn’t have been able to see that for another few hours yet.

“Sorry about that Eryk...”  I heard someone, it sounded like Tyra, say apologetically.  I looked around a moment, my head felt hazy for some strange reason.  That was when I saw her sitting in the chair next to me, now when had she done that?  “It was Jura’s idea, she thought you needed some time to rest, how are you feeling?”

 “Well...better I guess, did I doze off?”

“With a little help from her, yes.  You really did need it though, even I agreed you looked like it.  Oh, I fixed your nose up for you while you slept, what did you do to deserve a bar of soap to the nose?”  She finished with a small giggle.   Guess I wasn’t too surprised to learn Jura had a hand in drugging me.  Try as I might I couldn’t really blame her too much for it, I probably sounded like a nut with how I kept going on about Elryn.

“Accidently walked in on her taking a bath.” I replied softly as I rubbed my nose.

She couldn’t help but laugh at that one.  “Gods Eryk, you’re lucky soap to the nose was all...”

Suddenly there was a loud banging at the door, it sounded like someone was trying to kick the thing down!  Tyra got up from the chair and ran to the door, myself a short ways behind just curious what the emergency could be.  She let out a small gasp as she opened the door and stepped aside to let whoever it was in, my heart sank when I saw what was going on.  It was one of the Elders, Cai, he was quite out of breath and in his arms he held the unconscious form of Elryn.  Oh gods I hoped she was only unconscious, there was a grave look on Cai’s face, and not an ounce of color in Elryn’s.  I tried to say something but found the words just wouldn’t come.  Tyra wordlessly, and quickly, showed him in and directed him to lay her on the sofa.

“She’s still alive...” He panted as he slumped into a nearby chair.  “But has been getting more pale.  Silly thing worked herself to exhaustion fixing that thing, but...there’s more to it then that I think.  Bah, you know I’m not much of a healer Tyra.”

“I understand Cai, thank you for getting her here so fast.” Tyra just shook her head slightly and began to examine Elryn with a worried look on her face.  “How did she get so wet?”  Tyra asked as she continued.  Elryn stirred slightly and let out a small moan as Tyra cast what looked like a healing spell over her.

“Fool thing forgot to turn it off before reaching in, the jolt knocked her into the water around it....she was fine afterwards though.  I’d have drug her back here kicking and screaming myself if she wasn’t.”

She nodded. “Don’t worry yourself Cai, that wouldn’t have caused this anyway...”  She sat down on the arm of the sofa knowing at least part of what she was to expect when she empathically linked with Elryn.  As she placed her hand on Elryn and concentrated, she again felt what she did last time, only worse nausea this time.  In addition there was something else there, or more accurately, not there.  “I’m fine...” She told both of us as she noticed the looks on our faces upon seeing her reaction.  “I’ve felt worse from people, just such a strange, powerful, combination in her case.  But her illness isn’t what caused this...  Something is draining the energy from her.”

“...I hadn’t given it much thought at first, knew she had been ill, but she looked fine otherwise...”  Cai said in a very apologetic voice. “She came into the room limping, she looked exhausted and was using a large stick to support herself.  I should have brought her here right when I noticed that...”

“Wi..will she be okay?”  I finally managed to ask.

“It’s okay Cai, you know how she is.  She wouldn’t have come anyway.  And no Eryk...not if it keeps up like this.”  The tone of her voice was low and crackled slightly as she forced out the words.  She shook her head slowly as she worriedly ran her hand over Elryn’s head.

I stumbled a bit at the news and collapsed into the chair next to me.  “Well there is something you can do Tyra.”  Cai told her as he stood up and walked over to Elryn. “If what you say is true, we can do the opposite, I’m sure Eryk would be willing to.”  Tyra cocked her head at him oddly, apparently whatever he had in mind was not something she was aware of.

I jumped from the chair and joined them around her.  “Gladly!  What do I have to do?”

“Whoa there, calm down...you’ll need your energy.  And so will she.  A spell I picked up years ago, just a curiosity really I never thought I’d ever have a practical use for it.  Will transfer some of your energy to her, but will leave you extremely weak for a while depending on how much she needs.”

“Do it, I don’t care what I have to do, its worth it.”  I told him rather insistently.

“Take a seat then.”  He said as he dug a small rune covered orb from his robe, I of course did as he told me to.

“Are you sure this is even safe?”  Tyra asked him more then a little concerned.

“I’m really not sure.  I’ve never used this spell in such a dire situation before.  But unless you want to just stand here and watch her die, we don’t really have a choice.”  As if in response to that Elryn let out a small groan and fidgeted slightly.  The look on Tyra’s face grew more grave as well but she remained otherwise quiet and simply continued to run her hand over Elryn’s head as if trying to comfort her.  

Without further hesitation Cai said a few words and the orb he was going to use to amplify the spell began to glow and hovered about chest level leaving his hands free to cast the complicated spell.  A strange feeling came over me as he began to chant the spell, and a warm glow enveloped Elryn.  I felt myself growing more tired as he continued the spell but could already see color returning to Elryn’s skin.  I struggled to stay awake as the spell clearly reached completion, I had not expected it to take so much out of me so fast.  Eventually I found myself unable to hold my eyes open any longer and grudgingly let sleep take its hold, thoughts of Elryn in my mind.

***

“It’s done, only time will tell if they both recover.  It took more out of him then I expected.”  Cai stated quietly as he put away the orb and again sat down, tired from the spell himself.  “Have you any idea what caused this?”

“Poor things been through so much...” Tyra stated quietly.  “I thought....but it can’t be right..  But for just a moment, I thought I felt Adel.  Can’t be her though, she doesn’t know any magic that would do this to someone.  She likes Elryn, always has, she’d never do anything to harm her.”

“Maybe not, but if you felt her for even an instant, she may know something.  Where is she anyway?”

Tyra let out a sigh.  “I don’t know, she never came home last night, that’s not like her.  I told Eryk otherwise earlier but I just didn’t want him to end up worrying about Adel too.  She’s been acting strangely ever since Elryn awoke actually, I’ve got no idea why though.  And it’s so hard to find that girl if she doesn’t want to be found.”

“Yes...hard to find a girl that knows you’re coming.”  He grumbled slightly at the thought of it.  His voice then took on a very serious tone as he looked up at Tyra.  “I know what Adel means to you Tyra... But you must understand what we’ll have to do if she did this to Elryn intentionally.”

Tyra shook her head as she tried to hold back tears. “I know Cai, I know.  But she’d never do such a thing, its not like her...  Now please leave.  I can look after these two on my own.”

“I’m sure it’ll be okay Tyra, I believe you about Adel...and those two are too bullheaded to give up so easily.”  He got up from the chair and gave her a small respectful bow before quietly leaving the house.  She couldn’t shake the feeling from her mind that Adel did indeed have something to do with this, the feeling of Adel’s mind was unmistakable, even if what was there was just the lingering effects from a spell she cast.  She couldn’t believe that Adel could do anything like this to Elryn, Adel had always admired her...looked up to her in a way because of her strength of will.  Tyra collapsed into her chair finally unable to hold back the tears any longer.
←- Elryn: Chapter 3 | Elryn: Chapter 5 -→

DateNameComment 
22 Nov 200245 Leanne Fitzpatrick
*first comment dance* - turns and glares at anyone daring to do the jig.

and to you brian....ABOUT BLOOMIN TIME! hehe. ive bin waiting for ages for this to be up here, as you well know. an i gotta say, it was well worth the wait! ^_^

and, er...now im going to start bugging you about chapter five. lol. (how long till its up here?) ^_~

:-) Brian D. Saul replies: "Thanks. =)
As for 5...well, I can't say, because I don't know...so there... 10"
25 Nov 200245 Stephan P. Calloway
Well ... not exactly a "cliff hanger" by definition, but your last sentence is an outstanding way to tie up this chapter! I will agree with Leanne and Debra and say "BOUT TIME" - but I know a big part of the wait was ERB process so ...
Thank you SO much for telling me this was posted - I have been waiting (and NOT patiently). As always, you add interest and your own style of intrigue into the over-all story - I am impressed, intrigued, and WAITING FOR CHAPTER %5

(lol)

:-) Brian D. Saul replies: "lol, your occasional pacings through the guestbook have showed your patience (or lack there of) well... Hope it was at least worth the wait. 1
I only claim to do my best, I can't guarantee speed. 12
Anyways, thanks for the kind words and support...and for gods sake man, be patient! lol"
25 Nov 2002:-) Debra Lynn Turpin
'Bout time! lol! So, dear little Adel may not be so innocent, eh?? That's interesting. I do like that you have the 'elders' involved. That just makes sense. Having a bit of the history is helpful. Even though it is "just a bit!" I hope your working on this. It's shaping up nicely. Elryn appears to be getting back to more of the original concept of the character, although she is still sick and weak. I do like this! *waiting for more!!!*

:-) Brian D. Saul replies: "Yep, as things have gotten more involved, only made more sense to involve those in power to get into things.
History is gradually coming along, of course more things will be developed as time goes on. 2
Sick as she may be, one can only dwell on these things so long before realizing they've dwelled too long...she should be getting back to her normal self gradually.
Anyways...glad ye liked it, no date on 5 of course, but it's well under way. =)"
28 Nov 200245 Che Franz Joseph Monro
Hey Bryan, You've already seen my comments on this, so you know that I like it. On the topic of chapter 5, my advice is - Take your time! Have a nice bit of rest, get your mind fresh and relaxed, and write when you feel like it. It's not like anyone's hanging on it... No pressure! 12

Che www.chemonro.com

:-) Brian D. Saul replies: "Brian you mean. 12
....and that little conversation we had slipped my mind, oh dear, how could I have forgetten about that. Had to dig out my log to refresh my memory, sorry about that..
Tis good advice though indeed, I've been taking my time, and it's driving poor Stephan nuts. 1 Always make it a habit not to try and rush things though, I usually don't like the results when I do that.
Well thanks again... 2"
31 Jan 2003:-) Alice Muffin Girl Smith
*cowers behind your assurances that the typos are being fixed*
*finds that your assurances are not a particularly good shield from the hordes of malicious typo-men, with their random sticks and taste for vital organs*
*gets to watch her own pancreas removed before fainting *
*it is a disturbingly interesting process*

Umm yes, definitely! Your style is improving; it’s much more pronounced in this chapter. The characters have developed their own distinctive voices, making the work stronger on a whole.

(wish I could say the same about the typos…. *prods the place her pancreas formerly resided in with a forlorn puppy look on her face*)

“She sat down on the arm of the sofa knowing at least part of what she was to expect when she empathetically linked with Elryn. As she placed her hand on Elryn and concentrated, she again felt what she did last time, only worse nausea this time. In addition there was something else there, or more accurately, not there.” <= This is a bit strange in a first person story… It’s a lil’ chuck of third person. *tilts head thoughtfully* Actually, that’s not such a bad idea… I might use that in my first person thingies. *nods head in agreement with herself* Just figured I’d point it out, ‘cause it’s a bit strange and it wouldn’t be all that hard to just put this info into dialogue form if you were so inclined. *nod nod* Yeah…

I just figured I’d tell you at this point how much I'm enjoying reading this… *nod nod* I'm not sure how close you are to getting this finished, but once it is… this is defiantly publisher material. *nod nod nod*

*goes back to being unconscious*
*typos, gracious lil’ buggers they are, roll her limp form off towards the next part so that their relatives in chapter five can share in their feast*
*they resume eating her pancreas with much squabbling amongst themselves*

:-) Brian D. Saul replies: "I'm actually in the process of going over the entire story right now. Was with the intent to take care of the overlapping but I realized to my horror how correct you were...the sheer number of little spelling mistakes, missed apostophes, and tense screw ups is irritating to say the least. ^^; I'm of course fixing them as I find them and hopefully in a few days revised chapters will be up.

Hmm whoops, wonder how I let that lil bit of 3rd person slip in there. Thanks for pointing it out, I hadn't actually noticed it.

And as usual, thanks. 2 As for how far from completion though...I quite honestly couldn't say, just that it's likely a long ways till it's done.
And yes...I'm killing typos as I find them, so hopefully the army won't be quite as big in the next update. 10"
21 Feb 2004:-) Clarion Hess
Love it!! (still) Keep the chapters coming!!

Much better on switching perspectives!! I could follow the story without having to think about it. Army of typos are falling down by the thousands!! (Well, maybe not that many.)

11 Brian D. Saul replies: "Eh I don't think thousands is all that far off... 10And glad to know I'm succeeding somewhere 12"
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About 'Elryn: Chapter 4':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Brian D. Saul
 • Copyright: ©Brian D. Saul. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Magic, Ancients, Girl, School, Island, Guy, Sword
 • Categories: Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc.
 • Views: 160


More by 'Brian D. Saul':
Elryn: Chapter 8
Elryn: Chapter 6
The Smallest of Gifts
Elryn: Chapter 7
Elryn: Chapter 2
Elryn: Chapter 1
Smallest of Gifts - Prologue
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