"Connor and Binjii" by Chelsea Castonguay

                                                Connor and Binjii

            It was cold and damp as the young girl slunk through the back alleys of the city.  She shivered as icy rain dripped down the back of her thin coat, drenching her even more.  She spied the ship in port, and crouched behind a stack of wet crates, watching as the men silently loaded stolen goods onto their ship.

            “Pirates!” she thought in excitement, realizing that her fortunes were about to change.  If there was ever a ship that would take her on, it would be a pirate ship. Especially if they didn’t know she was a girl.

            Straightening up, and putting a swagger in her step, she made her way to the gangplank.  The pirates continued loading their ship, but she noticed their wary glances in her direction. She saw a grizzled man with a missing index finger nod to two boys not much older than her, and they approached her. 

            Her heart began to pound, flailing around inside her chest.  The boys looked to be itching for a fight, and while she was tough, she knew there was no way she could best them in a fight.

            “How’re you this evening?” she asked, instantly cursing herself for using her refined accent.  Her voice was rough and grating from the cold and her frequent illnesses, but she had a hard time shaking the accent her mother had forced her to use as a child.

            The biggest boy, a tall lad with black curling hair laughed, a smirk lingering on his full lips.

            “What ‘ave we got ‘ere?” he asked, his tone teasing.  The boy beside him laughed.

            “A little rat tryin’ to sneak aboard your da’s ship, I do believe.”  The girl shook her head vehemently, and was instantly sorry as the world swam before her eyes.  Perhaps the illness still clung to her, she thought as she struggled for control.

            “I’m not tryin’ to be a stowaway, I was wondering if you had any work.”  Both boys laughed loudly, and the bigger one slapped his leg.

            “Work?  For a skinny little pier rat like you? My father would sooner allow a murderer aboard than you.”

            “What do you say we push this rat off the pier and see if it drowns, Connor?” the brown haired boy asked, his eyes glinting in anticipation.  The one called Connor nodded, and the both moved forward to grab her when a sob escaped from her lips.

            “Please, don’t hurt me,” she whispered, pitching forward to her knees.  She wrapped her arms around herself, shaking as the coughs she had been suppressing took over her body.

            She felt someone kneel down beside her, and a rough hand clapped her shoulder, nearly knocking her over.

            “We wouldn’t really drown ye. Come now, don’t be a sissy and cry,” Connor told her.  He reached over and snatched her hat off her head before she could stop him.

            She glanced up and saw him look of surprise as her long dark hair fell over her back, hair she had been reluctant to cut even though she knew it would probably have helped her sign onto a ship as a cabin boy. Her father had loved her dark, shiny hair, and just the thought of bringing shears to it made her heart ache.

            “You’re a girl!” Connor gasped, and his friend jostled for a look.

            “By gods, she is! She had me fooled with that voice o’ hers!” he exclaimed.  Connor whistled and sat back on his heels, whistling softly.

            “Jarred, could you stay with her while I go get me da? He’ll decide what to do with her.” Jarred nodded and sat beside the girl while Connor dashed off to the ship.

            “So, what’s your name?” Jarred asked, after a moment of tense silence.  The girl was shivering so badly that her teeth chattered, but she managed to spit out the syllables.

            “Binjii. My name’s Binjii,” she said, wrapping her arms tighter around herself. Jarred took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders.

            “I’m Jarred. The other one’s Connor. His da owns this ship,” Jarred sounded proud, as if it was his own father who owned the gallon. “Binjii, that’s a strange name.”

            She nodded, trying to get her teeth to stop clicking long enough to reply.

            “My mother once met a slave from Africa who had that name. She told her it meant ‘born of twins.” Jarred cocked his head and looked at her incredously.

            “Your mother named you after a slave?” he asked, mixed fascination and repulsion in his voice. Binjii was used to such a reaction about her unusual name and she merely shrugged.

            “I was born of twins; I guess the name seemed appropriate to my mother.” Jarred nodded, and then jumped to his feet as Connor came back down the gangplank, leading a man who was obviously his father, except his curls were gray instead of black.

            He knelt down in front of Binjii and looked her in the eyes.  She looked back into his green eyes without flinching, her last shreds of pride gone.

            “What do you think we should do with her? She’s obviously very ill, and I for one couldn’t sail away with a clean conscious knowing I left someone’s little girl behind to die or end up a prostitute,” he mused, half to himself.  Behind him, Connor shifted uncomfortably, and shot a glance at Jarred, who smiled at him.

            “The men would never agree with bringing a woman aboard,” Connor finally said.  His father nodded in agreement.

            “Aye, but she is not a woman, she’s a girl.  They may be rough, but I highly doubt any of them would like to see this little beauty left in London on her own. Lass, where be your parents?” he asked, his sea-worn face kind.   Binjii almost burst into tears with relief of finally meeting someone kind, but she maintained her composure.

            “They’re dead. I have no one in the world,” she told him truthfully.  He nodded, and gathered her frail body into her arms.

            “We’d best her get her aboard and take our leave before someone be rousing the British after us.”  He headed back down the pier towards the ship, with Connor trailing behind unhappily.

            “Father, tis bad luck to bring a girl aboard!” he protested, a whine slipping into his voice.  Jarred shook his head and laughed quietly.

            “That be an old wives tale, and you know it. She can’t be any worse luck than you.” Connor punched Jarred, who teetered precariously on the edge of the peer before regaining his balance and socking Connor in the jaw.

            The captain ignored their squabbling as they climbed aboard the ship.  He began shouting instructions to his men, ignoring their inquires about the girl.

            “Once we’re clear o’ this port, ye’ll get yeh answers! Now get to it!” he ordered, bringing the ship to life. 

            As they were creaking out of the port and into the broad ocean, the captain brought Binjii to a small, but clean cabin.  He lay her down on the soft bed, and smiled at her warmly.

            “I’ll send Jarred in to sit with you in a few minutes. Will you be all right until then?” Binjii nodded and he closed the door.  She listened to his footsteps echoing in the alley until they disappeared.

            Binjii lay in the warm cot, getting used to the feeling of the boat moving around her, which was an experience unlike she had ever felt.  She waited for a few moments, wondering she would become seasick.  Her father had known many a man who was treacherously ill on his first voyage, but she didn’t feel anything except for delight at the rocking of the boat.  She closed her eyes and allowed it to lull her into sleep, as if she were in a hammock.

            She awoke from a troubling dream about her parents some time later, with the uncomfortable feeling that she was being watched. She snapped her eyes open to see Jarred sitting beside her bed, eating a bowl of soup.  He smiled when he saw she was awake, and hastily put the bowl aside.

            “How’re you feeling?” he asked.  She sat up, noticing that she was now wearing dry clothes and a blush heated her cheeks.  Jarred noticed her discomfort and she saw his eyes flick towards her.  She instinctively pulled her bedclothes further up over her chest.

            “Don’t let it worry ye. The captain put you in a clean nightdress, but he’s a surgeon.  It don’t mean anything to him.” Binjii nodded, still a little embarrassed but slightly relieved.

            “Your captain’s a surgeon as well? How does he find the time to run his ship?” she asked, wincing as pain tore through her chest and made her cough again. Jarred watched with concern on his face until her coughing ceased.

            “Are ye all right?” he asked.  She nodded and coughed again.

            “Could I have some water?” she asked. Jarred nodded and handed her a glass from the tableside.
            “Are ye hungry?” he asked, as she emptied the glass.  She wiped her hand across her mouth and shook her head slightly.  Just the very thought of food made her feel nauseous.

            “No, I’m not.  Are ships normally this quiet? I’d have expected to hear men shouting and such,” she said, straining to hear anything.  Jarred bit his lip, looking as if he was trying to figure out how to give her bad news.

            “What is it?” she asked certain that it couldn’t be good.  Jarred sighed.

            “The captain is having a harder time convincing the men to allow you to stay aboard than he thought,” he finally said, his voice soft.  Binjii laughed.

            “He’s the captain, don’t they have to do as he says?” she asked, thinking for certain that was how things worked.

            “Not on a pirate ship.  When the captain turned buccaneer, he made a promise to all those who sail with him to be a fair captain, and to include everyone in decisions concerning the crew.  It’s worked well; he’s captained this ship for over fifteen years.”

            “Connor’s his son?” Binjii asked, trying not to look too interested.  Jarred smiled.
            “Aye, he is. He’ll be as fine a surgeon as his da, and a wonderful captain.”  Binjii rolled on her side to face Jarred better.

            “I doubt that,” she muttered, thinking of Connor wishing to throw her in the water.

            “Connor’s a loud-mouthed lout, and he might scare a bit, but he’d never hurt ye. Especially now that he knows you’re a girl.”

            “That’s a relief; I should hate to have him throw me overboard in the middle of the Atlantic. That is if I am allowed to stay. Do you think they’ll let me, Jarred?”

            “I don’t know, they were leaning towards letting you when I came down to you, but that could have changed.”

            Binjii sat up straight in the bed, ignoring the ache in her chest.

            “Will you take me to listen?” she asked. Jarred shook his head vehemently.

            “No, the captain gave me strict orders to see that you remain still. You’re very sick and he doesn’t want your condition to worsen.”
            “I’m fine now, Jarred.” Binjii climbed out of the bed and did a little Irish jig to prove how well she actually was.  Her knees suddenly gave way and Jarred dashed to catch her before she fell to the ground.

            “I guess I’m not that well,” she said weakly, leaning against Jarred’s shoulders.  He hoisted her back into bed and grinned as footsteps sounded in the alley. 

            “I suppose you’re not.”

The door swung open and the broad-shouldered captain stood there, making the tiny room feel even small with his impressive presence.  His face was serious, the lines around his mouth and eyes defined even more by the meager lantern light in the room, giving him a ghoulish appearance. Binjii’s heart began to pound in nerves and anticipation.

            “Well, young lady, I’d like to welcome you aboard the ship!” he said, his face breaking into a smile.  Binjii smiled too, and impulsively threw her arms around Jarred, embracing him tightly.  She heard a slight cough and she instantly released her hold on Jarred, blushing furiously.  Connor stood in the doorway, watching as his father took a seat beside her bed.  Binjii returned his glare, realizing in that moment that they were destined to be enemies.

            “All right boys, time to hit the sack. We’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.” Connor stood in the doorway watching Binjii until Jarred pushed him out into the alley, closing the door behind them. The captain turned to her, his face serious and she instantly felt the fluttering of nerves once again.

            “Don’t look so frightened!” he said kindly, taking one of her small hands in his. “I’m not going to put you out any were, I intend to keep you here. But you must know, we are pirates and there is little stability to be offered in such a life.” Binjii nodded deeply.

            “My parents are dead, sir. I’ve been wandering the streets of London for weeks with no food or shelter. This looks to me as good a home as any. I can work hard and I will earn my keep.”

            “I know you will, lass. I have no doubt in that. Just bear in mind that some of the men were hard to persuade to keep you aboard, and while they won’t hurt you, they may not be so kind.” Binjii laughed at that, she had known little kindness in her short life and so did not expect any…

                                                            _________________

            The ship hit a high wave, and Binjii bolted awake. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, throwing her legs over the side of the narrow bed. She heard baby Aislin stir in her cradle which was bolted to the floor, and she stood up, intending to go to her. Connor grabbed her wrist and pulled her back into the warm bed, encasing her in his strong arms.

            “Where are you going?” he asked, whispering in her ear.
            “The baby…” Binjii said, trying to remove his hands from her stomach. He pulled her back into the bed, and covered them both with the covers.

            “The baby is fine, Binjii. Babies move at night too…” Binjii sighed heavily and allowed Connor to wrap her up in his embrace, laying her head on his shoulder. With her thoughts still on her dream-like daughter, Binjii slipped back into sleep.

                                                ___________________

            Binjii swiftly fell into life aboard the ship, and the work she was given was not taxing.  Jarred took her under his wing, and into the kitchen where he prepared the meals for the twenty-six men that lived aboard the large ship. Binjii loved being able to spend her days with light-hearted Jarred, but she was a terrible cook. No matter how Jarred explained or cajoled her, the minute she was left to her own devices, her food invariably burned.

            More often than not, she found herself creeping behind the captain, watching as he taught his son Connor the ways of medicine and curing.  Connor would scowl and belittle her, but the captain would bring her to his side, showing her the treatments. In time, she became as good as Connor at healing, and it became somewhat of a competition between them to see who would be the better surgeon.

            One day, Jarred and the captain came upon Binjii and Connor, fist fighting on the upper deck. Connor had his fist wound in her long hair and she leaned forward, smashing her head into his nose. Blood spurted from his nose as the captain and Jarred rushed in, pulling the two apart.

            “What is this about?” the captain asked angrily, tossing Connor like a child to the ground. Connor glared up at him, using his patched sleeve to stem the flow of his bloody nose. Jarred held Binjii, who was struggling against his grasp, desperate to inflict more pain on Connor.

            “The men are starting to go see her for help with their ailments, Father!” Connor said, rising to his feet.

            “It’s not my fault if I’m a better healer!” Binjii fired back. Connor’s face turned deep red, and he clenched his fists, breathing heavily.

            “You are nothing more than street scum!” he hissed. Jarred had released his hold on Binjii, but he tightened it again as she lunged at Connor, her face set with rage.

            The captain stepped up to his son, his own eyes angry.

            “Connor, you are out of line. If Binjii wishes to be a surgeon, why can’t she train alongside you? Your jealously embarrasses me.”
            “She should be in the galley, preparing meals! Women belong in the kitchen, behind the pots and pans!” Connor yelled. Binjii gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth and Connor grew pale, seeing the look on his best friend’s face.

            “Jarred…I…,” Connor began, but Jarred pushed past him, his face red with anger.  Binjii glared at Connor and hurried after Jarred, leaving the captain to deal with Connor.

            “Jarred?” she asked quietly, knocking on the door of the cabin he shared with Connor. She heard a voice from within tell her to enter, and she inched the door open slowly, to find Jarred sitting on the bottom bunk, turning a necklace over in his hands, which she knew to be a gift from his dead mother.

            She sat beside him on the cot, so close that their legs were touching and she could feel the heat of his skin through the thin cotton of her breeches.

            “Are you all right?” she asked, moving her hand to his knee. He said nothing, but continued turning the gold medallion over, looking at the imprint of the Virgin and Child.

            “I will never have the skill with herbs or a blade like Connor has,” he said suddenly, his breath heavy. “But I believed he understood that I could have other skills. I guess I was wrong.”

            “No, Jarred. Connor is wrong, he’s too narrow minded and conceited to see beyond his own nose.” Binjii told him furiously, seizing his hand in hers. Jarred kept his face away from hers, and she could tell by the blush on his ears that he was angry.

            “He doesn’t even like me, but he is your best friend…” she began, but Jarred turned to her, his brown eyes miserable.

            “Binjii, Connor is in love with you,” he said suddenly. Binjii gaped at him, her mind hardly able to wrap around the words.

            “What do you mean?”

            “I mean what I said, Binj. Whether he will admit to it or not, Connor loves you. You’re all he talks about, and whenever he sees you his eyes never leave you for a moment.”

             Binjii blushed at Jarred’s words, and shook her head.

            “I don’t believe it, Jarred. It seems to fantastical.” Jarred narrowed his dark brows at her.

            “I speak the truth. I also speak the truth when I tell you I feel the same way for you, and that is also putting strain on Connor and I.”

            Binjii’s jaw dropped in surprise of his sudden declaration. Jarred lifted her chin, and closed her mouth, smiling all the while.

            “Binjii,” he whispered, bringing his mouth to hers carefully. He pulled back after a moment and leaned his forehead against hers, a small smile lingering on his face. She smiled back, but suddenly, Jarred’s face went pale. She followed his gaze to the doorway, where Connor stood, his arms crossed as he looked down on them.

            “Get out of my cabin, street scum,” he said quietly, using the name he had adopted for her not long after she joined the crew.  Binjii rose to her feet, and walked past Connor slowly, her eyes not leaving his angry face until she had entered the alley and the door had slammed shut behind her.

            Connor spoke not a word to them for three weeks, until they reached their port of Cape Hope on the tip of Africa. The men were abuzz with excitement at the thought of sleeping in real beds, with women, and spending some time in pubs.  Only Binjii didn’t share in their enthusiasm, as she had no desire to drink or spend her coins on girls.

            “Don’t worry,” Jarred said, taking her hand as they all traipsed down the gangplank onto the dock. “We’ll spend a little time with the men, than take off on our own adventure. Does that suit ye?”

            Binjii nodded, nearly getting jolted into the water as Connor pushed his way by her. Jarred shouted at him and pushed his shoulder, but Connor ignored them, disappearing along with some of the other younger deckhands into the nearest brothel. Binjii pulled her cap lower over her eyes, ignoring the calls of the whores. Jarred called them off and they continued through the streets.  They stepped into a dark pub where the men from the ship who weren’t occupied at the brothels had gathered around a scarred wooden table. Each was being served ale in large, chipped tankards by busty wenches in tight corsets.  Binjii smiled at the wench who served her ale, noting that the girl was hardly older than herself.  The girl smiled and flaunted herself for Binjii’s benefit, until Jarred pressed a coin into her hand and sent her on her way.

            “It would be a lot easier if I could just be a girl in these places,” Binjii muttered to Jarred safely under the noise of the men’s laughs and jokes. Jarred sputtered into his mug, and looked over at her, his face red.

            “Binji, everyone in here is a pirate. Most of them would give a limb for a night with a girl like you.” She blushed, knowing he meant a virgin. “You’re a lot safer under the cover of a hat and breeches, lovey.”

            “Jarred, those brothels that Connor is so fond of…have you ever visited one?” she asked suddenly. Jarred shook his head, waving a fly from around his food.

            “Never. I am waiting for marriage.” He looked at her with such obvious meaning in his rogue glance that Binjii had to take a quick swig of her ale to hide her red cheeks.

            The captain noticed them from the head of the table and winked. He removed a few coins from his pocket and tossed them down the table to them.

            “Get a room, Jarred and make her yer wife in name, at least,” he laughed jovially, and Binjii noticed two empty tankards in front of him. Her cheeks were so hot she was sure if the tavern mistress had cracked an egg on them, they would be fried in seconds. Jarred snatched the coins up, lest on of the bar wenches get to them first. Amid the drunken howls and shouts of their fellow shipmates, Binjii and Jarred stepped out of the smelly, smoky tavern and into the balmy night of Africa.

                                                ____________________

            Morning light seeped through the cabin’s tiny portal window, and Binjii was bolted awake by the tiny, hacking coughs that emanated from the baby’s cradle. She ducked out of Connor’s possessive arms and lifted the baby from the cradle, her heart racing in nerves.

            Aislin’s face was beet-red as she apparently struggled for breath. Placing her hand on the infant’s forehead, Binjii was alarmed to feel her temperature soaring.

            “Connor! Wake up!” she implored in a tone so severe he was awake instantly. “What’s wrong?” He bounded out of bed and crossed the space in a step, taking his infant daughter and pressing his ear to her chest, listening to her lung sounds. He looked up at her, his eyes round with fear like she had never seen before.

            “We must dock the ship and find a doctor.”  Binjii took the baby back, panic rising in her throat.

            “Why? Can’t we help her?” she asks, moving aside the neck of her nightshift so she could nurse the baby.  Connor shook his head, his black curls awry from sleep.

            “She needs to be on land, Binjii. She needs a real doctor trained at a school.” Binjii looked at him in annoyance, trying to get the baby to drink.  

            “We are real doctors, even without a fancy certificate!” she flared. Connor came over to her, grasping her by the shoulders and staring into her face.

            “The baby is sick, Binjii. I don’t know with what, but it’s bad.” The baby refused her mother’s breast, and began coughing, as cold fear crept into Binjii’s heart.

            “You’re right. We must get ashore.”

            Jarred and Binjii strolled through the streets, close but not touching, attracting many a strange glance nevertheless. However, it wasn’t too uncommon for pirate boys to take to each other during those long months at sea, and no one questioned them.

            “What do you say, Binjii?” Jarred asked after a long silence had settled between them, clinking the coins the captain had given them together in his hand. Binjii looked up at him, startled out of her reverie.

            “What do I say to what?” she asked, gazing at the quiet city around her. Jarred looked down at her, a blush heating his round cheeks and he adverted his eyes.

            “Should we do as the captain said?” Binjii looked up at him, and shrugged, disliking the topic.

            “I thought you wished to wait for marriage,” she says, keeping her voice low.  Jarred shrugged in reply, touching her arm lightly.

            “I worry about what the future could hold. Perhaps we won’t get to wed.” They continued walking, neither wishing to attract any attention by lingering in one place too long.

            “The captain will be angry when his liquor fades and he finds out what we have done,” she said quietly, touching her fingers to his.

            “He doesn’t have to know,” Jarred said, grasping her hand briefly and releasing it as a couple of dock whores snickered, and pointed.

            “He made me promise, Jarred. He said if he was to accept me as a daughter, I would have to act as one. He bade me wait for my husband, and that I shall do…” Binjii was cut off when a whore and her newest customer bumped into her, both red-faced and laughing from drink. They stumbled into her, clinging to her like an octopus as both propositioned her.

            She felt Jarred reach in and pull her out of the tangle and he wrapped his arm around her, hurrying her away through the streets. She leaned against him heavily, both careful to stay out of sight of the British officers. Since she had signed on with the ship eight months ago, they had had only three battles, and all with British merchant vessels. The crew all speculated that it would not be long before the Navy caught up with them, but their Captain remained optimistic.

            They finally stopped, and Binjii looked up in surprise, to see that they were back at the tavern they had started from. Jarred’s face looked drawn and sad, and she hugged him as tightly as she could with one arm.

            “In the morning, I shall ask the captain for your hand.” Binjii stared up at Jarred, her eyes wide.

            “If you don’t mind, that is.” He looked so hopeful and scared, Binjii couldn’t help but laugh.

            “I don’t mind,” she answered softly, threading her fingers through his and kissing his cheek, raspy with unshaven whiskers.