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Chelsea Castonguay

"Elpenor" by Chelsea Castonguay

SF&F Picture 4 out of 21 by Chelsea Castonguay
 
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The youth Elpenor
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I have no words of sympathy for

the youth Elpenor

who found himself intoxicated

and on the glistening roof, staring at the stars

and wondering about the universe

and the ever-seeing immortal gods

 

Who was watching out for him

the night he consumed the sparkling wine

and climbed onto Circe’s polished roof,

smooth as a shell on Cyprus’ sandy beach,

his feet sliding on its shiny surface,

that alone should have warned him

No one was watching out for him

because they thought he understood the

precious gift of mortality bestowed upon him.

 

In the morning, when the stars had faded and

the clouds inside his head had scuttled away

like crabs after a good feeding,

he heard the bustle of the men he thought his friends

but did they care about the child they let climb

the ladder?

He heard their voices and leapt to his feet, anxious

to be among them again

In his haste, his feet slipped on Circe’s polished roof

aided by the wine and meat he had lost the night before

and he fell headlong off the roof and in seconds had

fallen into the dust, crumpling at the feet of the men

who understood their mortality and had been able to

hold their wine better.

 

                                                                       

 

←- Connor and Binjii II | Falling Phoenix -→

DateNameComment 
5 Feb 2004:-) Jkelley2
wine is evil! go for mixed drinks! 10 nice job too by the way 1

:-) Chelsea Castonguay replies: "well, I don't do the whole alcohol thing, so I say NO DRINKS!! thanks"
5 Feb 200445 D Joelle Duran
The distant, almost lecturing tone to this is neat. Nice word choice, too. It gives it the feel of a greek epic. Congrats on the poem being chosen!

:-) Chelsea Castonguay replies: "Thank you. I think that's what my teacher liked about it."
6 Feb 2004:-) Daryl Cooper
LOL! That's such a well done story! er, poem.... yeah. In case I haven't said this before, I don't DO poetry... as in, I can't give you any hints or tips about it, I don't know how to write it (for the life of me, I can't write a good poem!). But, I do know what I like.

And, I like this! As was said before, nice lecturing tone about the evils of alcohol, Chelsea! Go team!

ttfn, and keep 2, eh!

:-) Chelsea Castonguay replies: "alcohol is evil"
10 Feb 2004:-) Lisa 'Tenshi no Hisui' Sheridan
I can't believe I missed this earlier--what a find! ^_^

When I read this, I felt as if I was a youngster in Sumerian society, the bonfire sparkling in my eyes like the theme of interest and intrigue you have here, stealing up close to a village elder to hear them craft tales like this from pottery wheels gifted by ethereal talent. An ageless, timeless ambiance radiates from this work, captivating the imagination of people who adore civilizations of the past. Free verse poetry is a dialect that I cannot speak in of translate adequately, but I appreciate the ancient quality of your language.

I am honored that such a unique individual commented on my work, and I look forward to any updates you have to this page.

:-) Chelsea Castonguay replies: "My goddessness! Thank you for such an amazing comment!"
28 Mar 2004:-) Robyn Petrik
Wow, powerful topic...very in your face-ish-ness. It would have been cool if the last stanza had stayed a little more formed, like the first couple stanzas. But hey, the message came through loud and clear...good stuff.

:-) Chelsea Castonguay replies: "well, my teacher liked it and he's hard to please lol"
28 Apr 2004:-) Owen W. Henry
Hehehehe, it reminds of a fable, almost...

Personally, I find this funny because I used to take Latin with a very sarcastic, very sadistic teacher who often seemed to be teaching latin for the sole pleasure of making fun of his students. He relished in other people's stupidity...This poem would have made his day.

:-) Chelsea Castonguay replies: "heheh...I really have no pity for people who drink too much and do stupid things, no pity at all."
30 Apr 200445 Alice Kocab
It is amazing how you make different aspects of the Odyssey come alive in such a fashion. Your poems evoke much of the same mood that Homer's epic does. Your use of similes is great!

:-) Chelsea Castonguay replies: "lol thanks...that a serious issue I had with this poem at first, there weren't any similes..."
7 May 2004:-) Laura J. Korska
This is a very unique poem. The imagery is wonderful. I can see why your teacher loved it. I must go and read the rest of your works now!

1 Chelsea Castonguay replies: "yay! A new reader!"
18 Jun 2004:-) Amy Smith
Very interesting feel to it. Sounds like something we would've read in English class. Nifty!

1 Chelsea Castonguay replies: "heh...I first learned about Elpenor in English class."
22 Jun 200445 Jenna
The speaker sounds likle Circe, haughtily shaking her head as she summons spells to clean the wine off her roof. Being a powerful socceress, used to getting her way, she seems like the kind to admonish the foolish dead. (Omnipotent on her isle, she wouldn't stand for the antics of "little Greek boys.") A wonderful poem, but don't you feel the slightest bit sorry for him? I mean, missing a ladder rung... it's such a pitiful way to die.

:-) Chelsea Castonguay replies: "Nope, I don't feel sorry for him at all. You reap what you sow."
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About 'Elpenor':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Chelsea Castonguay
 • Copyright: ©Chelsea Castonguay. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Elpenor, Death, Doom, Odyssey, Gods, Goddesses, Circe, Odyseus
 • Categories: Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Warrior, Fighter, Mercenary, Knights, Paladins
 • Views: 297


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