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Stories / Stories / Charles Mills Trowbridge / Text 3 of 23 / Flood

"Flood" by Charles Mills Trowbridge

SF&F Picture 3 out of 23 by Charles Mills Trowbridge

This is a perfect example of why authers shouldent be rushed. I know I can go back and change it...but...I'm not in love with this peice like i was when i first wrote and, and if i did go back and change it so that it all fit one tense i'd end up draining all of the emotion.

Flood

Constricting me with cold hands a nymph of the streams holds me back with gentle but relentless pressure. Like a lover who knows you must leave or be destroyed pulling you back into her warm embrace she restrains me. That same lover’s tongue convinces me to open my mouth and accept all of her when she fills me, stealing the breath from my lungs. She has possessed me, already too deep into her seduction to escape. I stop fighting and let the serenity of comfort lull me into the long dreams.

This, the longest dream, a panorama of simplicity in shape and color reminds me of when her eyes first met with mine. Of my wife, dog and children I thought of nothing, blue in blue eyes luring me past the point were judgment rules. No crime was too vulgar, no action to extreme if done in her name. I would beg to commit them all again if only for her pleasure.

A sly smile. Lost in his dream she looks down at him. The process started, he will purge himself. But the smile soon fades as she realizes she is once again alone.

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Date	Name	Comment
13 Apr 2001	Liz	Loading... POV is good...add more onto it? Please? (look i'm being nice and non-demanding...see what sleep and caffeine deprivation does to me?! [why do those two contradict themselves?] dear gods i need therapy!) please please please Thread more stories? _pweeze_????? This is an old peice of work. One that was written off of a promp, no less. I just decided to put it up to see if anyone liked it. I might add some more onto it though, senes you do. depends on how i end up feeling.
23 Apr 2001	Joanne R. Turner	Loading... Sounds like a relationship I have...possessed with the evil of it all..deception....yummy tale, keep this one going...like to read fantasy myself but this caught my eye...fantasy at real level... Wow. Someone who got what I ment. I am probly gonna revise this story and make it a little more....intense.
2 May 2001	Christine 'BlackWidow' Landrie	Loading... I think flood was a great name for this. Its just so perfect. Like most of your works they are sort and to the point. Therefore there isn't a chance for it to underwheml them selves. I like to keep things short because perception of life is not the long drawn out painting that many authers persent. In most cases it is short and brutal, with you noticing little other then race, gender and social class, and that's if your lucky. In the dark now..er..i mean future, it's important that we dont ever forget that MTV(back when it was MUSIC television, not talk-a-lot-and-look-cool television) was so popular for a reason, it was fast and it kept the audence there. Why are CNN senate meetings so booring? becase they dont. The written word is no different, no different at all.
2 May 2001	Christine 'BlackWidow' Landrie	Loading... Wow...Ya I know its a forbiden word but really, not being a writer its hard to find the words to describe it. Well, forbidden or not, thanx. \|=\|_\|(\|< is forbidden on elfwood too, but people find ways around it. Such as my uber31337sp3k
29 Aug 2001	Lisa Coleman	Loading... I agree you should continue on with it. It is quite sensuous. hmm..i might just do that..
1 Sep 2001	Katherine Pope	Loading... I really like your use of wording in this one. Your phrases are both eloquent and elegant. "No crime was too vulgar, no action to extreme if done in her name. I would beg to commit them all again if only for her pleasure. " This was a realy hard peice for me to write because, as per always, it's based on somthing that happened in my life. Thanks for the vote of confidance that I got it across well!
28 Feb 2002	Ali	Loading... I really like this story because that's always how I thought nymphs should be. So many stories have them either fall in love with/have someone fall in love with them or they kill someone, never both. I really love your word choice and the lines you chose. Charles Mills Trowbridge replies: "I know that we've talked about this irl, but for compleatness(and the viewing audence at home) I am responding here as well. It means alot to me that you like this story, because it is a very deeply rooted story for me, and i care that people i care about like things that i've done which are meaningful to me. I am glad you liked the subject matter. I choose this moment in time to write about because although there are more poems and stories about love then you could possibly count, for me, the moment when love first sinks her barbed tallons into me, that is the moment about which a novel could be written. The intensity and complexity of feeling is so powerful that it seemed only natural to write about it."
17 Jul 2002	Jessica Heerten	Loading... This is perfect! Please don't change it, or add to it. You always lose the raw feeling when you do that and this is so wonderful. Please, I beg of you, don't change it. Charles Mills Trowbridge replies: "As always, sometimes you love what you write and sometimes you dont. With this one, i dont like the disparity between the size in the blocks of text, and some of the lines are very structuraly intense(well, i think they are, i am just on the comment forum, and i wrote it oh so many years ago, so i dont remember it all too fully). I also worry that the subject and word choice are too intense for an average reader to really capture the full meaning of what i wrote. But i've gotten alot of comments similar to yours as well, so i havent touched it yet. But sense i have a bunch of stuff to do in the meantime, flood is safe. Idle hands make the devil's work and all."
10 Dec 2003	Liz Nanney	Loading... Reading this over again, I'm struck over the head with how much it sounds like she's drowning him, holding his head under a clear sparkling shallow stream with his nose and mouth just inches from the surface, that he could struggle and regain oxygen, but chooses not to, as if what's above the water is not worth living/fighting for.
27 Sep 2004	None of your business	Loading... That nymph-lover stuff was so bad of a start. Boo to you.