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Stories / Stories / Charlotte Anne Williams / Text 5 of 5 / The Spirit Wolf

"The Spirit Wolf" by Charlotte Anne Williams

SciFi/Fantasy text 5 out of 5 by Charlotte Anne Williams. ←Previous - Next→

Another one that is Really Difficult to Understand. Like I said before, Just read it and maybe it will come to you hehe

←- The Unicorn | The Witch -→

a big huge truck

takes me on the road

into the moutians

beyond the groves

3 white dogs

nip at my heels

one black guardian

her fur do i feel

a wolf howls

a lonely echo does make

the barks are loud

a cover my ears

as the horses gallop

round me with fear

a dark gray wolf

stands thoughtfull on a hill

the gaurdian approches

the wolf stands still

i rush the white ones

now brown with dirt

into the truck

the mist now lurks

all around my gaurdian

all around the wolf

they howl together

i see thier soul

i begin to shiver

it makes me cold

the white and the black

the ying and the yang

as the horses ran

they sang they sang

i see darkness

comming over the moutian

i call Anubis

she rushes like a fountian

i then awake

with a heavy sweat

my anubis beside me

soundly she slept

i smiled softly

again feeling safe

beside my gaurdian

right in

my place...

dreamed and written by : charly williams

←- The Unicorn | The Witch -→

Date	Name	Comment
8 Mar 2004	Jenna Morgan	Loading... first comment dance You've got a very powerful string of images here and I like the way you've combined the various symbols into a dreamlike narrative. However, I do have a couple of (hopefully constructive) criticisms. You haven't used any punctuation and I only found one capital letter. You might feel that you don't need them in a stream of conciousness poem but their absence is distracting and breaks up the illusion you've created. If you add them in it will look far more professional and will also make your images clearer - they can be a little confused. I hope you don't think this is unkind - I like this or I wouldn't have commented. Tighten up your punctuation and spelling and it will be much better.
13 Feb 2010	Leanne	Loading... I also really liked the images you portrayed here. However, I have to say that I disagree with Jenna on a few things. First of all, I don’t think that adding punctuation neccesarily makes a poem seem professional. Stringing them together without anything to break it up seems to better reflect the dream-like state that you’ve created. Good job! On the other hand, there are some things that would make it more of a pleasure to read. Capitalizing the "i"s is one suggestion, as well as using the word "three" instead of the number. Also, check some of your spellings. Other than that, I don’t see much wrong with it. It’s a good poem- excellent work.