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C. L. Corbin

"IronHull" by C. L. Corbin

SF&F Picture 5 out of 9 by C. L. Corbin
 
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A story about a ship that sunk seven times... Short, but interesting.
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“Grandfather, will you tell me a story?” a small elf boy ran over to his grandfather, who was looking out the window at the ocean that lay far below. Slowly, his joints creaking, the old man turned to his grandson.

“Well,” he said, his voice no more than a crackly whisper, “I’ve told you all of the stories I know except for one, and it’s the only story that is true. It is the story of a ship called the IronHull, a vessel very advanced for its time. I rode on that ship.”

The boy’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “Tell me, grandfather!” The old man leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes and sat still for a second. Then, he began his story.

“When I was a boy of no more than fifteen years old, my family lived next to a ship builder’s shop. Every day I would look out my window and watch him and his workers build huge ships, strong vessels that could withstand the toughest of storms. The ships were expertly built, with beautiful carvings that made them stand out from any other ship. Day after day, I would watch the ships be built, and the more I watched them the more I felt connected to them. They were a part of me- I had watched them be created from the time they where first waterproofed to the time they were given their names. When one of them was finished and finally sailed away, I felt like a part of me was gone. And I vowed that, when I was old enough, I would sail on one of those ships. A part of me just knew that I would.”

“And did you, Grandfather?” The boy asked, sitting down on a cushion next to the rocking chair.

“Of course I did! Didn’t I say earlier I was on a ship?

“The ship was called the IronHull. When I was seventeen years old, a full-grown man, I decided that the IronHull was the right ship for me to work on. It was a beautiful boat, a trade ship used to transport exotic herbs between the islands. I was the first mate and I made sure that the rest of the crew took good care of the stock aboard the ship. The captain trusted me with everything. In fact, I might as well have been the captain. I loved that ship, and I never wanted to leave it.

But one day, as the IronHull was about to dock on the shore of one of the islands to unload our cargo, a leak sprung in one of the cabins on the lowest level of the ship. No one knew how this could happen- the IronHull was one of the sturdiest ships ever built. We all had to abandon the ship, and all we could do was watch as it sunk beneath the ocean.”

“So, that was the end? Did you work on another ship?”

The Grandfather chuckled. “Oh, no. The captain of the IronHull loved that ship so much that he had it hauled out of the water and repaired. Once it was as good as new, we found something strange in the cabin that had gotten a leak. A sack of strange gold coins was lying on the floor. They were covered with foreign markings and where like nothing any of us had ever seen before. We decided to ignore them, and sold them to a curio merchant for an ample amount of money.”

“And what happened next?”

“Well, over the next several years, the boat sunk several more times- five, to be precise. The captain didn’t want to keep spending gall of his money on repairs, but he and I both loved that boat and I promised to help him pay for everything.

“Each time we pulled the boat back out of the water, we found strange artifacts in it- once we found a trident made out of platinum, another time a stone tablet with beautiful carvings covering it. I kept them all and treasured them, because they were beautiful. But I also kept them because no one knew what they were. Until one day.

“I was at home, having just gotten back from a long trip on the IronHull. When I heard a knock on my door, I thought it might be one of my cousins coming to visit me. But it wasn’t.”

“Who was it, Grandpa?” the elf boy asked, staring tentatively at his grandfather.

“I’m getting there! Anyway, the person visiting me was a girl named Kirakesh. She immediately struck me as odd- I mean, she was beautiful, but she didn’t look like a normal person. Her eyes where curiously slanted and her hair was almost blue, it was so white. She wore a long skirt and was very careful to cover her legs and feet. She walked in an odd way, almost like she was sliding over the floor. She walked in the house, looked over my collection of strange artifacts, and told me that they where mad by mermaids.”

The boy’s eyes widened. “Mermaids, Grandpa? Really?”

“Well, at first I didn’t believe her, but she seemed so serious that after a while she had me convinced. After that, she left just as mysteriously as she had come, and I never saw her again.

“When I told the captain about Kirakesh’s visit, he laughed at me. He thought I was making everything up to impress him. Finally, when he refused to believe me, I got angry. He fired me right on the spot and I never worked on another boat again.”

“Why not?”

“Because no ship could compare to the IronHull, child. If I couldn’t work on that ship, I didn’t want to work on a ship at all.”

“Oh.” The Elf boy said, looking out the window over the vast sea. “Is that the end of the story?”

“Well, yes.” The Grandfather said sadly. He, too, turned and gazed out at the sea, his cloudy blue eyes scanning the glassy surface of the water. As he looked, a small sleek shape surfaced. It was a girl, an exotic-looking girl with blue-white hair. She stared up at him, her face asking, where do I know you from? Her delicate lips mouthed the word “Kirakesh”, and the Grandfather knew. She then surface-dived as gracefully back under the water as quickly as she had come, and in a flash of fins and foam, she was gone and the sea looked just the same as it had before. The Grandfather knew he had not been dreaming, but he decided to say nothing to his grandson, to simply savor the moment before his eyelids slid down and he drifted to sleep.

←- Fly | Mermaid Story -→

DateNameComment 
16 Oct 2005:-) Tom Nosredans
Nice story, not boring like some I know overall good stuff very... Interesting.

:-) C. L. Corbin replies: "Thank you!"
17 Oct 2005:-) Rochelle Green
Firstly, I like how your writing is unpretentious, unglamorous. Some people get too caught up in pretty wordy descriptions. It's all hullaballoo and little hard truth to me. The fact that you get straight into it is eye-catching, so to speak.

You also characterise as you go, instead of info-dumping. Instead of talking about how old and gnarled the grandfather is, you intersperse descriptive bits throughout the dialogue, which a) make the dialogue interesting and b)saves us from a heap of imagery at any one point. Besides, that would be confusion dialogue size. I like to catalogue my thoughts, it amuses me. Anyway.

And silly questions, such as the one the boy asks "And did you?" add colour to the scene. "Of course you did!" the old man exclaims, thus characterising him. He expresses, what? These life-like expressions draw us in.

The dialogue also makes the telling of the story interesting 12 I think you have a very true talent here. I do hope that you write more!

Also, have you read any of Robin Hobbs books? Like the Liveship books? You might like them if you haven't read them.

Also, I like the non-cheesiness of the story. The end is a little surreal, which adds a fantasy twinge to an otherwise very human scene. Entirely believable reading 12 you have a very credible style. People will eat up your characters because they are coherent, and not glittering with heroism (you know, a tear in their eye, a sparkle in their teeth)

:-) C. L. Corbin replies: "Thank you! 2"
27 Oct 2005:-) Corianne Wilson
What a fantastic story! I loved your descriptions, you make it easy to see what's going on. It was easy to feel the emotions of the grandfather, both towards his grandchild and to the mermaid. Excellent job.

:-) C. L. Corbin replies: "Thanks!"
2 Nov 2005:-) Christina H. Pettit
This is a great story - I love its simplicity. I think it would be good if you could put more detail into it.

:-) C. L. Corbin replies: "Thank you!I agree with you- when I was writing this, I was just trying to get it down so it would be finished, and I didn't really work on description much. Maybe sometime I'll fix it up a bit."
11 Nov 2005:-) Annie Harrington
Very heartwarming. It seems exactly like what a grandfather might tell to his grandson one fine day on a rocking chair or something. I liked the simplicity of it all, and I enjoyed it a lot. Great job.

:-) C. L. Corbin replies: "Thank you very much! 1"
19 Nov 2005:-) Keith D. Brooks Jr.
Just a wonderful lighthearted story, and I loved it! 2

:-) C. L. Corbin replies: "Thank you!"
27 Dec 2005:-) Marina "MashPotato" Siu-Chong
I liked this story--it's written just like a story that a grandfather might read to his grandson: simple, fun, and whimsical ^_^
One suggestion I would make (and I realize you're not going to change it, but I'm going to say it anyway ^_^) is that the grandfather and grandson be humans instead of elves... this would make the mystery of the appearance of the strange artifacts more enigmatic, and the arrival of the mermaid even more suprising and magical, since it takes place in our world. Once there's elves in a story, the appearance of a mermaid is not as astonishing... to me, at least ^_^.
Overall, a very nice story ^_^
16 Feb 2006:-) Averil 'Boar Warrior' White
Very good story! I love the descriptions...only one thing confused me - if the boy was an elf-boy, was his grandfather an elf or human? Just he says that at seventeen he was 'a full-grown man'....

That was my only quibble. I love the simplicity of the story telling - there's no sudden twists and turns in the plot - very straightforward and truthful. Excellent!
1 Dec 200645 The Guardian
I am a nobody who just happened to look upon this web site. I am delighted to write however that your stories are very beautiful. Especially the the Beast And Beauty they remind me of my life so far. over the past ten years i have some- what become a beast myself. You see my childhood upbringing wasnt filled with love so my heart became hardened over time so it is with deep interest that i take off my to you. Yes i Know that you do not know me but in time i hope to read more of your wonderful stories. i hope in time that i too be able to find my Beauty
31 Mar 2007:-) Dave Cripps
Very funny story 2

Just one thing a sailor would refer to his ship, especially if he thinks it the best ship in the world, as 'her' and 'she' not 'it'.
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About 'IronHull':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) C. L. Corbin
 • Copyright: ©C. L. Corbin. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Iron, Hull, Ironhull, Boat, Curse, Mermaid, Elf, Grandfather, Story, Trade, Sink
 • Categories: Romance, Emotion, Love
 • Views: 310


More by 'C. L. Corbin':
Prologue
Ch. 1
Fly
King For a Day
Beauty and the Beast: Part 3: Beast
Beauty and the Beast: Part 2: Beauty
Mermaid Story
Beauty and the Beast: Part 1: Nicholas

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