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Stories / Stories / Crissy Gottberg / Text 3 of 6 / Mermaid (poem)

"Mermaid (poem)" by Crissy Gottberg

SF&F Picture 3 out of 6 by Crissy Gottberg

A simple poem about a mermaid. This, along with over 30 other poems, is avalible in my new e-book. Check out my website for details.

A beauty of ocean depths

Glittering scales and jade eyes

Atop the highest cliff

A voice filled with lies

She watches the waters

Ships sail through yon narrow strait

Glittering waters beneath their bows

Unaware of their dismal fate

Lips, blue from cold depths

Part in sensual desire

Music spills into the night

Igniting men's hearts afire

Yon beauty is a spider

A web of song her tool

And those who hear her dulcet tones

Won't live to be called the fool

←- Christmas Poem (poetry) | Ring True (poem) -→

Date	Name	Comment
20 Oct 2004	Leia Anne Getty	Loading... Well, before I criticize its' far better than anything I could do. When I do poetry it's usually minamalist ranting or parody. I like the word 'jade' but I'd uses 'jaded' eyes to give it a double meaning. The rhyme scheme is very flowing and consistant, but it just seems short. I guess I'm waiting for an actual story, but it just seems like it could be longer. As well, I'd change the last line to 'a' fool not 'the' fool. Anyway, that's my opinion, hope I help.
20 Feb 2008	Mermaidmagic	Loading... woah ........... i have goosebumps

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About 'Mermaid (poem)':

• Status: OK
• Created by:

Crissy Gottberg
• Copyright: ©Crissy Gottberg. All rights reserved!

• Keywords: Mermaid, Sailor, Sea, Ocean, Water, Fish, Fantasy, Poem, Poetry
• Categories: Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters
• Views: 1508

More by 'Crissy Gottberg':

Christmas Poem (poetry)	Grass Harp (chapter 4)	Ring True (poem)
The Letters	Wizards Fire

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