Elfwood is the worlds largest SciFi & Fantasy community.
  - 93565 members, 26 online now.
  - 53407 site visitors the last 24 hours.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Christopher A. Dann

"Shadow- Part 1" by Christopher A. Dann

SF&F Picture 2 out of 2 by Christopher A. Dann
New Random
 
Tag As Favorite
 
This is Shadow's first job. Unbeknowst to him it is actually part of a larger plot.
Add Bookmark
Tag As FavoriteComment

Jennifer Harvey stepped out of the shower and placed her dressing gown over her perfect body. She wrapped her golden, blonde hair in a towel and stepped into her living room. She looked out of her 8th story window at the skyscrapers of Seattle, silhouetted against the fiery background of the dusk sky. A gust of wind blew in through the window and made Jennifer shiver. She turned and headed toward her bedroom across the warm carpet of her flat. She almost didn’t here the feet of the assassin as he landed on the floor.

She spun round in confusion at the noise to stare into the cold eyes of her killer. She screamed. He smirked. He had a full body jump suit of unnaturally dark black. His hair was the same shade but showed no highlights from the bright light of the room. It was at this point Jennifer realised she had stopped screaming and now stood in petrified silence. She took fairy steps backward as he took fairy steps forward. But fairy was far from the right way to describe his voice. “So…” he in a cold, monotone voice the made Jennifer shiver more than the cold did, “you are the famous Jennifer Harvey.” Jennifer tried to get “yes” out but it died in her throat.

“It’s a shame really,” continued the killer, “that I have to kill you. You could have been so much more than a target.”

“…a target..?” Jennifer managed in almost silence.

He whipped out two long blades faster than Jennifer could see. “Yes.”

“Whose target?...Who wants me dead?”

“I’m just the middle man who gets paid to deal with the target.” He studied the blades. “I got paid over double the normal rates for you. Some one really wants you out of the way. Speaking of which…”

Before Jennifer had a chance to scream the assassin was flying through the air with his blades pointing right at her heart. The power of the Raptor Magnum bullet sent him backward.

The sound of her own screams had covered the sound of the deluxe wooden door being broken down by Shadow’s kick. Jennifer spun round to she a tall, dark figure stood in the doorway, holding two smoking pistols. He was wearing a body length, leather coat, had mirrored shades and…pointed ears?

“You, you…” Jennifer paused.

“Saved your life? Killed a guy? Am an amazing shot?”

“You’re an elf.”

“I just saved your life and you fixate on my ears?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just I’ve never met an elf before.” She glanced at the body of the assassin. “Is he dead?”

“I sincerely hope so.”

“Who are you?”

“Name’s Shadow. I’ve been hired to…”

The sound of armoured foot steps on the stairs cut short their conversation. “Backup.” Shadow muttered. Putting on his most formal voice he said “I’m sorry ma’am but we have to take the other exit.”

“What other exit? The fire escape is on the other side of the hall.” She glanced at the open window. “No!”

“Yes. Hold on.” Grabbing her around the waist he sprinted for the window. He leapt out and threw in a mini-grenade to greet the re-enforcements. It did, and with a satisfying bang as well.

Jennifer landed in the dumpster second. “Ew…” was all she managed, breathless from the fall. She then fainted. Shadow lifted her body over his shoulder and made for his bike. He sat down leant her against his back and held her on with one hand. Shadow felt something strange as he sped through the streets of Seattle. How had the assassin gotten there before him? What was the back-up team doing there? What was he getting into?

←- Enter Shadow! | Enter Shadow! -→

DateNameComment 
29 Sep 200345 Amanda Celeste Fejes
Ooo, nice! You're really good at fight sequences, which I *ahem* lack severely. Ah well.
I, being the grammar/spelling Queen (next to Muffin Girl), found only one spelling error: "She almost didn't here the feet of the assassin as he landed on the floor"- it ought to be "hear". Place and sense, respectively.
Another thing I found was: "Grabbing her around the waist he sprinted for the window." In my humble opinion, there should be a comma after "waist", since it separates the- well, thoughts, I suppose. "He sat down leant her against his back and held her on with one hand." Same deal, only it needs two, one after "sat down", the other after "leant her against his back".
Very good so far! Particularly since it contains assassins- one of my stories has one, but don't go telling people because it's not finished yet. ^__^
31 Dec 200645 Kariny Ellcore
Well laddie, what're ye doin' without more o' this story up?

This needs more. Yeah you got the 'here' and 'hear' mixedted up, but that's English language for you - sounds just like it aint.

Who is this Jennifer girl - what does she actually look like, facial wise ('cause basically all you said was that she had a perfect body), and why is she famous?

The elf. The assasain. Where the plot is going. NEED MORE.
28 Jan 200845 Sinbad
yes, needs more, but in a good way! there needs to be more story. yes you need more detail, but write the story first then revise it. PLEASE!
9 Aug 2008:-) Richard C Maning
This was a really good start i think, only one problem i think and that was the size of it, i really wanted to read more, keep up the good work.
Not signed in, Add an anonymous comment to this guestbook...    

Your Name:
Your Mail:
   Private message? (Info)



About 'Shadow- Part 1':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Christopher A. Dann
 • Copyright: ©Christopher A. Dann. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Shadow, Fight, Assassin, Body gaurd, Super model, Apartment
 • Categories: Elf / Elves, Fights, Duels, Battles, Urban Fantasy and/or Cyberpunk, Warrior, Fighter, Mercenary, Knights, Paladins
 • Views: 253


More by 'Christopher A. Dann':
Enter Shadow!

Related Tutorials:
  • 'Villains: *Bad* Bad Guys and *Good* Bad Guys' by :-)A.R. George
  • 'Writing Lycanthropy' by :-)Jeff Burke
  • 'Writing a Story, Painting a Masterpiece' by :-)Jessica Ng
  • Art Education Finder...
  •  
     

    Elfwood™ is a site for Fantasy and Science Fiction art and stories created by Thomas Abrahamsson and helpful assistants and moderators, owned by the Elfwood corporation.

    [More...]