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Deborah Cullins Smith

"Defeated" by Deborah Cullins Smith

SF&F Picture 6 out of 19 by Deborah Cullins Smith
 
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This poem was written as a submission to James Bowers' Project #7.5: the project entitled Death Knocks. The older we get, the more we see the shadow of Death looming large over our lives. But Death doesn't always truly win in the end...
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DEFEATED
by Deborah J. Smith

Dark alleys
    draped in mist,
    shadowed by evil’s thick cloak,
    drenched in hopeless despair.

Malicious shadows
    stalking desperate souls,
    ripping breath from pain-wracked shells,
    wrenching life from feeble fingers.

Death mocks
    with ruthless laughter
    soul’s tearful pleas,
    smothering shroud descends.

Light bursts
    dispelling fear’s fatal form,
    glowing with pulsing brilliance,
    dazzling startled eyes.

Death screams,
    Evil cowers
    in miserable defeat
    where no darkness can hide.

Soft luminescence,
    gentle caresses,
    the rustle of feathers,
    a breeze on a tear-stained face.

Flying home on angel’s wings!
←- Death Stalks the Night | The Dragon Egg -→

DateNameComment 
31 Jan 200545 Stephan Calloway
I must agree - this is a powerful read. As I'm not one for poetry, I found 'Defeated' extremely provoking. At first I figured, yeah - somebody else is defeated - they died. What a twist at the end! Death itself defeated.
::bows::
My compliments - a most extraordinary read!

:-) Deborah Cullins Smith replies: "Thank you, Stephen. I'm always glad to see new visitors to my humble cottage in the Woods. And I'm glad you liked Defeated. I appreciate your affirmation! ~deb"
31 Jan 2005:-) Emma-Jane C. Smith
Er... WOW!!!!

*tries despiratly to retrieve her jaw from the ground*

This is a brilliant poem!!! It certainly gets me in the mood to write all sorts of things!!!!

Go Deb! WOOT! 2

:-) Deborah Cullins Smith replies: "Thank you, Em! (First comments are awarded strawberry tarts with whipped cream and sprinkles today.) I am grateful for that affirmation. Thank you, thank you, Emma. Go write something in your own brilliant style! I'll be looking forward to seeing more in your corner of the Woods. ~deb"
1 Feb 200545 LINDA
YOU GO GIRL!!!! Descriptive and powerful. And the SAVE at the end!!! Wonderful. xoxo

:-) Deborah Cullins Smith replies: "Thanks, Sis! Glad you came back to visit. ~deb"
16 Jun 2005:-) Cheyenne Kai
I like the imagery you used, it puts your poing across well in a fantastic way.

:-) Deborah Cullins Smith replies: "Oh, my gosh, Claire.... How did I miss responding to a comment? Shame on me! I'm so glad you visited my corner of the Woods. Please forgive my unforgiveably tardy response. I'm always grateful for comments, and usually respond immediately. I'll try to get over to visit you soon. ~deb"
3 Nov 2005:-) Dan Shevock
This poem is great. I love the format, the feeling, and the powerful words. lovely.

:-) Deborah Cullins Smith replies: "Thank you for those kind words, Dan. I'll try to return the visit soon. Drop in any time! Hopefully, I'll have some new material posted soon. ~deb"
13 Dec 2005:-) Larry N. Morris
Oh, wow! Beautiful. Makes my poems look like kid's play.

:-) Deborah Cullins Smith replies: "Thank you, Larry! **blushes** I'm so glad you liked it. ~deb"
14 Feb 2006:-) Marijke Mahieu
That was wonderful! I love the images you use here. They convey the message clearly. And I love what you did with the formatting. It guides the reader's attention to the first lines and it gives the poem a whole other dimension. Lovely poetry! Really lovely 2

:-) Deborah Cullins Smith replies: "Thank you, Marijke! I'm overwhelmed by your appreciation! ~deb"
17 Aug 2006:-) Beth Alice O´Leary
Hello there Deb, I really can't believe I haven't come here before! This poem is fantastic, as Marijke mentioned, the formatting works really well in emphasising the first line of each verse. I'm glad the ending wasn't quite so depressing - the light at the end of the tunnel, in a way!
The title itself is very powerful as is the first verse, drawing the reader in 1

:-) Deborah Cullins Smith replies: "Thank you, Beth! It's so nice to see you in my little corner of the Woods! I'm glad you liked this one. Death has always taken people I love -- I guess this was my way of reminding myself that Death IS defeated when one believes in God. We DO have a "light at the end of the tunnel". Please get comfortable, kick off your shoes, and have a cup of tea. The cinnamon muffins are excellent, and I have plenty more for you to read. By the way, I've printed out "Reclaiming Pride" and will get out a comment or two as soon as time frees up and I can catch up on my reading! Glad to see you participating in the Young Artisans! ~deb"
15 Dec 2006:-) Malin M. Larsson
I think the poem would really gain if you erased or changed the last sentence but the poem's really great! I love the rhythm and the words you've used. I prefer Death as in Terry Pratchett books but this is a really good description.
I love how you only indicate the angel. You should read my "Last Flight" - it's on my page.

hugs

:-) Deborah Cullins Smith replies: "That last line is a statement of my faith, Malin, so I won't change it --- though I respect your opinion! Thanks so much for commenting, Sweetie. I'll try to get over to your page when I've caught up on comments here. Hugs, deb"
19 Dec 2006:-) Dragonsluver
You have such a wonderfull way with your imagery! I loved the strong words you used and the sensation it caused! Your title is really cool too!

:-) Deborah Cullins Smith replies: "Thanks, Rachel! I'm so glad you liked this one. Even as a Christian, with all the promise of Heaven, I hate death. I hate losing people who are dear to me, and at my age, I've lost ALOT of folks that I miss terribly. I'll see them again, but that theme was strongly in my mind when I wrote this piece. ~deb"
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About 'Defeated':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Deborah Cullins Smith
 • Copyright: ©Deborah Cullins Smith. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Death, Shadows, Luminescence, Angel, Wings, Despair, Shroud, Light
 • Categories: Angels, Religious, Spiritual, Holy
 • Views: 431


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