"*The Fairy Tales* Prince Charming" by Lauren Christine

I never meant to kiss her, I swear. It was only a dare, and It wasn’t my fault. I was enjoying my day off. I mean, not that I don’t enjoy ladies fawning over me, but for the most part, being a prince can be pretty frustrating. I don’t think that I ever thought that things would change. But unfortunately they did, and as I said, it was started by a dare. Snow isn’t that bad of a wife, I mean, I could have done much worse, but I didn’t quite meet her in the manner she tells about. Snow White is a pretty girl, and she loves attention, but I think she gets to much of it. I like attention too, you know. And no one ever bothered to tell my side. Nope, the only part I play in her story is when I rode up and whipped of my hat and kissed her. Why doesn’t any one want to know about how I felt, kissing those cold dead lips? I don’t care if you want to know or not. You chose to read this, and I chose to tell you about it, so listen up and listen good, because this is Prince Charming’s side of the story!

My friends and I were walking through our regular path in the woods. I was talking about the latest gossip about why Lady Gertrude wears a vale. The newest assumption was that she had a giant mole on her chin. It was supposedly huge, and she was so embarrassed by it, she kept it covered at all times. I was just on a role, when Darren interrupted me. He said that gossip was for women. I think that that is ridiculous, because if men can’t gossip then why can women? But that is another tale for another time. Anyway, he said that we should do something really manly to make up for acting like women. So, we went to our regular spot by a stream that ran through the woods. It was a bubbly brook, and it reminded us of things that we normally would not have thought of. As it went, Darren, Koby, Peter and Raul decided that only I should have to do a manly deed because I had brought up the gossip topic. So, the four of them sat thinking about what I should do. They finally decided that I should go check out the castle of the Queen of Myradan, which was right down the road from ours, since both castles sat on the borders of the two realms because when they were first erected, they were built together so that the royal children could marry without having to travel very far. But as far as I knew, the Queen of Myradan liked to stay in her castle. She had not spoken of an arrangement, and her husband was dead. My friends and I thought that we had recalled hearing something about a daughter, but we had not seen her. So, they dared me to find out if there really was a princess of Myradan.

We walked back to my castle and got a few horses and then rode out to the castle. While we were riding we discussed a few manly things, and we all speculated on which ladies were smitten with us. Then we talked about how all the other men were wanting, and then back to which ladies were smitten with us. I knew that all of the ladies loved me, but I didn’t want to break the others hearts. I’m nice that way.

When we finally approached the castle everyone was pretty worked up, and I was too. I mean, it’s not every day that a guy finds his dream girl. Not that I expected this princess to be my dream girl. Most of the time when It takes forever to marry off a daughter, that is a sure sign that she is really blah. I mean, really blah. And it’s not just bad looking, it’s bad looking, and bad personality. Because one balances out the other. If a girls really pretty, but really annoying, you can handle the annoying part because she’s so pretty. It also works backwards, but It just takes a little longer for you to marry of that kind. But when it takes this long, a guy has to assume that the Lady has neither, looks nor personality. That, or she is just really sheltered, which never happens in modern days. And in my castle, every thing is up to date. The laps are made of candles, not burning sticks. The privy even has a roof. How much more modern can you get?

But any way, as I said, I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with her or anything, because I have to have a wife who is bother even tempered, and beautiful. You know, we Charmings have a long line to live up to. Upholding the Charming name is no easy task. We have a proud family, and I am the next prince Charming, and like my father, King Charming, it is my job to rescue fair maidens and be just as charming as my name implies.

So when I climbed over that wall, I was not expecting a whammy. But. lo and behold, what was the sight that met my eyes, but a fair maid bending over a wash bin. The next sight that met my eyes was the wash bin.

“What are you doing here! Get out! Leave, you nincompoop!” she shouted, all the while smacking me with the wash bin.

“Wait! I am not a nincompoop! I am prince Charming!” at this, she stopped hitting me. I brushed off my clothes and finally got a good look at her. And boy, was she a beauty! She looked at me skeptically, and then asked me to repeat my name. I did. Her voice was melodious, and I found my self sinking into its depths. Maybe she was my dream girl… But then she was running away, going, going, and gone. I was shocked! How could anyone resist the charm of a Charming? It didn’t make sense. I called for her to come back, but she didn’t return. I didn’t even see her anymore! But somehow as I climbed back over the wall I knew that I would see her again. It was most un-Charmingish. We don’t get all weepy-like. I was so deep in thought the whole way home, I didn’t notice the castle disappear in to the mist. (Snow told me afterward about it.)

The next day, I was back to normal, assured that she was head-over-heals in love with me. I didn’t worry about anyone else going to see her, because as I said, the Charming charm is irresistible. I actually almost forgot about her, after a while, a girl is just a girl. I thought. As it turns out, I couldn’t get this one out of the back of my head. Not even thinking about Lady Gertrude’s mole could get her away. So I thought about the situation. And then I started having my doubts. If she was a princess, then what was she doing washing cloths? Ida she was a princess, and she just liked to wash cloths, did she have physiological problems? And worst- what if I had a laundress stuck in my head? Charmings do not think of laundresses non-stop. Charmings do NOT marry laundresses. It simply isn’t done. After this, I thought that maybe she wasn’t a dream girl. So, I shoved her further into my thoughts.

Until about a week later, I heard from one of the local dwarfs that his cousin had told him about a lady they had found in their house when them came home. A lady who was exceptional good at washing clothes. I thought of my mysterious maid, and then I realized the irony of the term ‘maid’, all things considered. The dwarf said his cousin told him that her name was Snow White, and that she was a runaway princess. I thought of my maid again, but after that, I didn’t think of her again for another two weeks.

It was my day off, and my friends and I were walking through the woods on our usual path, and as usual I got carried away with what we were talking about I guess I got roped into doing another dare. It as usual was something that I really did not think was rational. This time it was based on a piece of gossip that HE had heard, and if I recall correctly, I was being penalized for the same reason. But that didn’t matter to him, as long as I was going to do something really stupid so that they had some thing to laugh about for a while yet. It wasn’t as though a prince needed friends like that, but I liked to keep them satisfied, because their feelings are fickle. It wasn’t anything personal. So I got dared to follow out a rumor. I was supposed to go into the Valley of Vale where there was supposedly a glass coffin with a sleeping princess in it, and that if a prince kissed her, she’d come back to life. Take a wild guess what I got dared to do.

SO any way I was in the valley and there, lo and behold , was a glass coffin. You can’t imagine what it was like looking at my own destiny, but under glass…

And dead.

It was then I noticed that she was my maid. Yes, sounds so fantastical, so fake, so… happily ever after. Now, even though I’m a Charming, I am only 99.99 percent perfect. I thought that maybe I could mess up, that maybe I shouldn’t kiss her, after all, I didn’t now anything about her. I was even starting to get a little confused, because now that I knew that she was a princess, the questions of her sanity started to come back. I am ashamed to say it, but t hen I did something I am sure a Charming never has done before.

I turned my horse and ran as far away from that glass coffin as I could.

That was when I was fourteen. That was when I was younger. I stopped seeing my old friends, and started to take being a prince as seriously as I could. I was 18 when my parents started to bring up the subject of marriage. I had never gotten the girl out of my mind, I had never quite forgotten the way I ran, or the look on her seemingly dead face. But I knew deep in my heart that she wasn’t dead. And I knew from the moment my parents asked if I had anyone in mind for a bride that I had to finish what I had started.

That night I crept out of my rooms and down to the stables where my beloved horse, Magryan was kept. It was a full moon, and I remembered hearing from my studies that the full moon was a good night for magic. I shuddered when I mounted my now jumpy steed who was normally so calm. As soon as I kneed him in the side, he took of running at a break neck pace. I lost the reigns and was now holding on to Magryan’s main for dear life. Some how the stallion knew where I was going, and when he finally stopped, I found my self in the Valley of Vale.

And there, not 40 feet away was my lacking. The thing that made me run, defying my name. And though I was shaking, I could not run again. I was scared, and I would like to say alone, but there was a presence there that would call me a liar if I did. The stars glared at me, and the moon seemed to shine fiercer. This moment I knew was important, the very grass whispered it, but the problem was, I didn’t know what time it was for.

I walked over to the glass box, and felt with stunning accuracy the memories of the last time I was here, 4 years ago, flooding back. I touched the lid, and then snatched my hand back. The glass felt as though it was on fire, and it was no small wonder that she was still here. I had to try again, and I took a deep breath and shoved my hand against the glass, then quickly snatched it back and examined it in the moonlight.. There was a slight red twinkle of where the glass had burned me. It hurt, but it wasn’t something I expected to last. It was Fairy magic, after all, and that rarely lasts. But it hadn’t hurt as much that time, so I took another breath, and with both hands shoved the coffin lid aside. It moved with what seemed like great reluctance, if you can imagine reluctant glass.

Now that I had the lid off, it was just a matter of doing the kiss. I had no excuse not to. Like it or not, I really had just on option. Kiss the maid, or run away again, which was not an option. I did what I was afraid to do. I leaned over, and holding my breath, brushed my lips against those of the maid called Snow White.