"*The Fairy Tales* Purple Cutians" by Lauren Christine

“I can’t do it.”

“How come?”

“I’m not allowed to!!”

“Why not?”

“I’m under a spell.”

“A spell?”

“I just said that. Are you sure you aren’t deaf?”

“What kind of a spell?”

“The kind that you aren’t allowed to tell people.”

“Are you allowed to tell me if I guess right?”

“I dunno.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“What part of ‘I dunno’ don’t you understand? I’d be happy to try to explain it to you. Except, I’d have thought that prices got better education these days.”

“I understand what the words mean!”

“Well then why did you ask me what I meant?”

“I didn’t mean that! I meant, how can you not know if you can tell me or not?”
“Because silly, I already told you that it was the kind of spell that you aren’t allowed to tell people!”

“Blah! Must I spell everything out to you?”
“Of course not. That would take far to long, and besides, I don’t think that you know the alphabet.”
“I didn’t mean it that way! And of course I know the alphabet!”
“Oh! You meant the other kind of spell. How can you make a spell for words?”

“Forget it. Back to my original question: How can you not know if you are allowed to tell me if I guess what the spell is?”

“Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?”
“Don’t worry about it, just give me the answer to the question!”

“Fine! You didn’t have to get all annoyed! I don’t know if I can tell you if you’ve guessed right because not one person ever has.”
“Not one?”
“No, not one.”

“You must have had some pretty amateur guessers.”

“And I suppose you are an expert on spells?”
“I am an expert at everything.”
“Ha!! You try having a baby and then tell me you’re an expert at every thing!

“Uh….”

“Hmm. That’s what I thought. Though I will say that you are an expert at blushing.”
“Huh! I bet I could guess your stupid spell!”
“Ha!! You just try.”
“You have to sleep a hundred years!”
“No.”
“You have to spin straw into gold?”
“Not even close.”

“You have to make someone fall in love with you all the while not speaking?”
“Do I sound as though I can’t speak?”
“No…”
“I….”
“You don’t know!”

“I don’t.”

“That’s alright, I didn’t expect you to.”

“I could’ve sworn that it was one of those! I am fairly sure that those are all of the spells you can cast on a person. I know that there are some oddball spells, but I can’t think of them!”
“No, really, I didn’t expect you to guess.”

“Well I guess I am only good for painting purple curtains with yellow polka-dots.”
“That’s it! You guessed it!”
“I did?”

“Yes!”
“You mean to break the spell I have to paint purple curtains with yellow polka-dots?”

“Um-hm!”

“That is it? All I have to do is paint you a set of yellow polka-dots on purple curtains?”

“Yes! You will do it won’t you?”
“I… yes, but…”
“But what? You do want me to marry you don’t you? That is what you asked before I told you that I couldn’t which was what got us on the topic of the spell!”
“I mean, yeah, I mean, it’s just that that was only an expression, only being good for painting purple curtains with yellow polka-dots, and I am supposed to be on a quest to break a spell and marry a princess, and see, I am supposed to gain honor and glory by doing the rescuing. Thing is, if I tell all the other knights that all I did was paint a set of curtains with yellow dots to save a princess, I would become a laughing stock rather then a respected knight. Do you get what I am saying? You are certainty pretty enough, and I like you to, but, do you see my predicament?”
“Why don’t you make something up?”
“What do you mean?”
“What part of ‘Why don‘t you-”
“No, no, what I meant was what do you have in mind?”

“Well, why don’t we tell everyone that I was put under a spell by a bad fairy.”
“Hmm… Ok, why were you put under the spell?”

“Hmmm… Because the fairy wasn’t invited to my christening? And her spell could be that I was going to prick my finger on a spindle on my 16 birthday and... Die!”

“Yes, that’s good, and one of the good fairies that were invited hadn’t had a chance to bestow her gift on you, so her gift was like a counter curse, and she said that she couldn’t take off the bad fairies curse completely, but she could make it so you only slept; slept instead of died!”
“Alright, and then the bad fairy heard of this, and saw you coming to the castle to save me and turned herself into…What should she turn herself into?”
“I don’t know, what ever it is, I have to have proof that I killed it.”
“Oh! I know! There is an old dragon head in the great hall from when my grandfather killed it! Would that work do you suppose?”
“That would be wonderful! That way we have a reason for the bad fairy to be gone! She turned her self into a dragon, and I killed the dragon!”
“Is that enough glory for you?”
“Yes, that should be sufficient. Shall we get that dragon head?”
“Yes, it’s right this way. There are some purple curtains in my closet and a few dishes of yellow dye in the kitchen.”

“Here, I’ll do that first, so it’s out of the way.”
“Fine, here‘s the key to the closet, you grab those curtains.”
“Ouch! The curtain rod just fell on my head!”
“Sorry, I should have warned you about that…”

“Yes you should have!”

“Sorry. The kitchen is through this door.”
“How is that possible? The kitchen in the basement, and your room is on the 5^th floor!”
“I don’t know, that is just the way this door is, it opens up to where ever I want it to.”
“That’s useful, but it would have been even nicer if I had known about it before I climbed five sets of stairs to break a spell on a helpless princess… and I guess this is the kitchen?”
“Yes, and there is the dye.”
“Sure, and I just make dots with it on the curtains?”
“I would tell you that was correct, but that would be breaking the rules.”
“So it is, right?”
“I would tell you that was right, but I can’t, and if I could, I wouldn’t tell you that was incorrect… are you getting it?”
“Oh, right, yeah… There, that sufficient?”
“Of course! I feel so much better! I am so glad that the spell is finally broken!”
“Good, so you can marry me now?”
“Yes, well, when we get back top where ever you live that is. The dragon head is right this way.”
“Through this door again?”
“Yes, and it’s hanging up right there.”
“Oof! It’s heavy!”
“Well of course! What did you expect?”
“Nothing less… although, there is one more thing that we need to decide before we leave.”

“What?”

“Every good story has a title.”
“Well what shall we call ours? The sleeping princess?”
“I think you deserve more then just the title princess.”
“Well, I dunno what else to call myself…”
“How about the sleeping beauty?”
“That is flattering.”
“It’s true. So now, here, the horses are right out here, in the stable. I have a pack horse for the dragon head, and you can ride double with me.”
“Sleeping Beauty, huh.”
“Does it amuse you that much?”
“Aye.”

“I’m glad.”

“Mayhap people will remember our tale in years to come…”

“Mayhap, love, mayhap indeed.”
And with that, Sleeping Beauty and Prince Charming rode off into the fading light of the may sunset.