| 2 May 2006 | Ray | Loading...Forgetting about March and April, Happy May! | |
| 5 Jun 2006 | Ray Krisman | Loading...June:
Dear Doctor,
I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous and after being married for seven years, and having a child each year, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are absolutely useless.
After getting married I was told to use the "Rhythm Method." Whilst trying the samba and the tango my wife fell pregnant, and I ruptured myself doing the Cha-cha.
My doctor then suggested we use the safe period. At this time we were living with the in-laws and we had to wait three weeks for a safe period, when the house was empty. Needless to say this didn't work.
A lady of several years experience informed us that if we made love while breast-feeding we would be alright. It's hardly tastes like Coors, but I finished up with clear skin, silky hair and another child on the way.
Another old wives tale was if my wife jumped up and down after sex this would prevent pregnancy. After breast-feeding (from earlier), if my wife jumped up and down she would have ended up with two black eyes, and even knocked herself unconscious.
I asked a chemist about the condom. He demonstrated how easy it was to use so I bought a packet. My wife fell pregnant again, which doesn't surprise me, as I fail to see how a Durex stretched over the thumb can prevent a baby.
My wife was then supplied with the coil and after many unsuccessful attempts to fit it we realized that we had got a left-handed thread and my wife is definitely a right-handed screw.
The Dutch cap came next. We were very hopeful of this as it did not interfere with our sex life at all. But alas...it did give my wife a severe headache. We were given the largest size, but it was still too tight across her forehead.
Finally we tried the pill. At first it kept falling out, then we realised we were doing it wrong. My wife started then to put it between her knees, thus preventing me from getting anywhere near her. This did work for a while until the night she forgot it....another child resulted.
You must appreciate my problem: if this operation is unsuccessful I shall have to revert to oral sex. Although I don't mind just talking about it, it could never be the same as the real thing.
Yours faithfully, | |
| 21 Jun 2006 | Rachel ´Saya´ Lamine | Loading...Hey Meaghan, tis me, Rachel, from that writing camp two years ago. You probably don't remember me, so meh. Anyway, I finally joined. I forgot about this site for a while while I immersed myself in fanfiction...bleh, I got over that and have returned to, well, original fantasy. So yeah, I'll get around to reading the stuff I haven't read. Just wanted to let you know I was still around. It's almost 11AM and I'm still tired...
~Saya~ | |
| 29 Jun 2006 | Ray Krisman | Loading...Jonny was a chemist's son but Jonney ain't no more. What Jonny thought was H2O was H2SO4! | |
| 1 Jan 2007 | Ray Krisman | Loading...Happy New year! (Finally! An official one! Though I missed Christams...)
So, what's the New Years Resolutions like? | |
| 15 May 2007 | Claire L Robertson | Loading...Where did you find the name Ciere? That's so random, I've never seen it anywhere else before. Meg Rachor replies: "Hunh? What are you talking about? *confused*" | |
| 9 Jun 2007 | Ray Krisman | Loading...Really now, LOOOOONG time no bother! Thanks for dropping by my mossy cove, it's good to know you're still well ^_^ Meg Rachor replies: "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. That was really long and really fun to scream mentally. Heehee!!! Yeah. Anyway, I'm finding. Almost out of school for the summer, then my senior year, then college, then being a lawyer for the tribe...Got it all planned out. Goooooooooooo me!*cheers* Yeah. So, how is Ray? " | |
| 14 Jun 2007 | Claire L Robertson | Loading...OH - sorry, lol, I should have been more specific:
“Where in Ciere’s name were you? Lady Kieke got back a half hour ago and she’s extremely angry that her new face paint isn’t here. I’ve been listening to her rant the entire time about how worthless you are. Not that I disagree, but it gets dull.” | |
| 27 Jun 2009 | Ray Krisman | Loading...Heyo mayo, thanks for the comment. Came here to check if you were still active. Guess not. Anyway, hope your plan is still on track
Btw, law is a stressful occupation. Howcome you chose that? Or changed your mind in the interim? | |
| 20 Oct 2009 | Ray Krisman | Loading...Its ALIIIIVVVVVEEEEE!!!!!  | |