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Meg Rachor

"Humpty Dumpty´s Tale" by Meg Rachor

SciFi/Fantasy text 2 out of 2 by Meg Rachor.      ←Previous - Next→
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Well, I had a random idea...what if Humpty Dumpty didn't just fall...A really sad failed attempt at humor on my part ^_^
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←- Prologue- The Priors | Prologue- The Priors -→

            So, you should know by now that I was the fool who, in my ignorant weariness, sat on a wall. After all, you can’t sit on a high, narrow wall when you’re a mostly round object, now can you? Wrong. I did. I fell, too, but that is an entirely different story, and it wasn’t my fault- I can hear you laughing, you know, and it really isn’t polite. How can you doubt my words if you don’t know the truth of the matter?            I’ll tell you the truth, and if you want, you can laugh after you’ve heard it. Deal?

            It had been a long day, and I had spent it watching all the king’s horses and all the king’s men running in frantic circles to prepare for the grand festival that would be starting within days. Finally, exhausted, I spotted The Wall and clambered onto it, feeling glorious relief rushing through my shell. It had been a long, long day, after all. Or did I say that already?

            No matter. The instant I was on the wall, I was afforded a view very few people in the castle had, the other being poor Jack and Jill, who were fetching a pail of water on the hill outside the courtyard. However, because they got into an argument about who should carry the filled pail and ended up nursing numerous bruises after they tumbled down the hill, (thanks to Jill shoving Jack, who pulled her after him as he stumbled) they didn’t see what I ended up seeing. Only I ended up being in a high enough position to see what I saw- be patient, for heaven’s sake, I’m getting there as quickly as I can!

            I was minding my own business from my lofty height atop the wall when I noticed something very peculiar in the strangely empty courtyard below me- it was the princess, my king’s beloved daughter who was known throughout the land for her beauty and willingness to obey every rule she was given. On this particular day, however, she appeared to be disobeying every rule she’d ever been given! She was, to the most minimal extent of details (for I won’t delve that deeply into her personal life, no matter what she was doing) kissing one of her father’s knights!

            While in the process of looking away with as much speed as I could, I must have made some noise that notified her that I had observed the entire scene, for she turned and sent me such a venomous look when the knight was gone that I shudder to think of it even now. Then, she smiled so sweetly I almost thought I had imagined the glare, and walked out of the courtyard towards town.

            Having nothing better to do, and being relatively incapable of movement at that time, I sat exactly where I was, staring down at the stones below the wall with a mental amusement that I couldn’t get rid of. It was always funny when people developed personalities outside of the ones they were given, of course, as my princess had obviously done.

            Ah, rebellion.

            Needless to say, I was so lost in thought that I didn’t realize the beloved daughter of my king had come around on the other side of the courtyard wall with a ladder so she could ascend to my perch. I realized when I felt two small, determined hands firmly shoving me away from safety, however, that I was in serious trouble.

            I also realized it was a little too late, and splattered across the ground. I wasn’t exactly made sturdy, you know.

            After that, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men ran in frantic circles trying to put me, Humpty Dumpty, back together again, exactly as I had been before. They, of course, failed, and shoved me away into a closet, saying I had run off to avoid suspicion. They were failures, after all, and that didn’t look good when you wanted a record of impeccable service to keep your head firmly attached to your shoulders.

            So, I was locked in the closet for so many years that I completely lost count, and finally, finally, was let out by a plastic surgeon, who restructured me (and may I mention that I look extremely fine, now?) and let me loose on Las Vegas. A lot of debt later, I decided it was time for me to tell the true, and possibly get a large settlement from the descendants of that wicked princess…

            Why are you still laughing?   


←- Prologue- The Priors | Prologue- The Priors -→

13 Oct 2005:-) Catherine Smith
"Ah, rebellion".
Loved that line. Made me laugh. Very cute wee story. At least he knows now that sitting on the wall was daft, even if the view is interesting.

:-) Meg Rachor replies: "Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. I liked that line too lol!"
1 Nov 2005:-) Andis
The last line was my favorite. Amused me greatly.
Our annoying friend Humpty here has a great voice in this story. I would say to throw in a couple more details, but we've all been there, when you're half asleep and you just write, post, and never again look at.
I have a story like that which I need to remove. Quickly.
Anyway, good job. ^.^

:-) Meg Rachor replies: "That was a great ramble comment ^_^ Well, not full-out ramble, but darn close. It made me smile. Thanks (again, I know) for reading and commenting. I'm glad you liked this strange little tale of mine."
2 Dec 2005:-) Shazi tariq
WOW!!! that is the most orignal story i have read in a very long time.. its surprising how no one gave enough thought to why humpty dumpty actually fell off the wall 12

1 Meg Rachor replies: "Well thanks! I live to serve, and I thought this would be amusing ^_^ "
7 Dec 2005:-) Alice "Missing Enigma" Raven
Mr. H. Dumpty, we charge you with clambering on the most ancient of our holy walls, sitting and generally loitering on/around said wall, and even (it hurts me to say this, ladies and gentlemen of the jury) falling from it and splashing its sacred stones with your yolk! How do you plead?
Heheh. I like this, its cute, short, and my kind of cynical humour. Gooo, evil knight-kissin' princesses! (Where's the fun in being a good princess, from what I hear its all cursed apples and evil fairies and frankly, if you're gonna have vegetables in your mattresses, I'd rather be a peasant, ah'thankyou.
She's sapunky. Oh, me likes! *claps, and bounds away*

30 Meg Rachor replies: "Everyone likes this one. I think it was just an outpouring of excess stupidity that was required before I could go onto more serious stories. So, all in all, I am surprised that people such as yourself find it amusing, but I'm glad. You really knocked yourself out on the story thing, didn't you? "
12 Jan 2010:-) Anitta Hiekkanen
This was very amusing. There was a little smile on my face through out the story. Wouldn’t call this a failed attempt 2

:-) Meg Rachor replies: "Thanks. Looking back on it, I really enjoy reading it. Now, of course, I’m somewhat detached from it, since it’s been awhile 2
14 Jan 2010:-) Kerstyn Kaori Leigh
That was brilliantly written!!!! You did really good with developing his personality over so short a time, and I love how you really put a twist to old nursery rhymes! Amazing job!!!

:-) Meg Rachor replies: "Aww thanks 2 "
14 Jan 2010:-) Ray Valen
HarHar 2

:-) Meg Rachor replies: "Silly Ray, Harhars are for pirates."
17 Jan 2010:-) Kat McGrath
I really liked this and I would like to just put an encouraging word here right now, urging you to write other satirical shorts.
On the examining note: It sounded exactly like someone sitting there telling a story to an audience. It stayed to point of view nicely. And I especially liked your inclusion of Jack and Jill’s little spat, telling more to their little rhyme without taking away from Humpty’s story.

Also, *meekly* read mine? 1

:-) Meg Rachor replies: "Aww, thanks for reading 2

I will be by as soon as I can to check out your stuff!"
8 Aug 2010:-) Silvannen Mystic Dragonrider Gerrard
Hehe! That was great! ^_^ Reminded me of my english language coursework where we had to modernise a fariytale.....^_^

:-) Meg Rachor replies: "Haha, Thanks. It is one of my favorites 2"
13 Jul 2011:-) Michael pixiepie john
a most entertaining tale ,
i like the intrigue of the kings daughter , and how she first smiled at humpty ,
the writing has a lovely flöw , and one can identify with humpty the narrator ,
i like how you give us insights into his insights on his world ,
a very funny tale
wish you well in your writings ,
i can imagine a whole lovely book from you
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'Humpty Dumpty's Tale':
 • Created by: :-) Meg Rachor
 • Copyright: ©Meg Rachor. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Egg, Fall, Push, Wall
 • Categories: Humourous or Cute Things
 • Views: 938

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Prologue- The Priors

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