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Stories / Stories / Emily Kirsch / Text 18 of 34 / Porcelain

"Porcelain" by Emily Kirsch

SciFi/Fantasy text 18 out of 34 by Emily Kirsch. ←Previous - Next→

This was for a class, a free-write assignment.

←- Lost | -Remorse- -→

Porcelain

She smiled, she did, a smile that cracked the porcelain features she so readily displayed. She smiled, but it only dropped off of her lips and onto the grime-ridden ground, where it was stepped upon and beaten. She looked down upon it, she did, and felt emotion brought up from the wells of her tears . . . the wells that carried two halves less than normal. She could resist these tears, she could, but she was, in truth, she was utterly unable to. She misunderstood, she did, she misunderstood the deeper and more fragile emotions one has. She misunderstood, and because of this she cried.

These emotions came again, they did – of course they came again. But she could only smile at them, was all, for she was unsure – she was, she is. She was unsure and untrusting, she was, so ignored them, not realising that they were true. She ignored them; she did, but knew that tears would be spooned again.

She was the listener, she was, and could do nothing but that. Her feelings, you see, were ball and chained deep inside of her mind. And she smiled; she did, for she could no longer respond, she couldn’t. She had her own problems, she did – she had her own problems but had no one to tell them to. She knew she was loved, she did, she knew and cherished this fact and would never do anything to hurt herself. She wouldn’t, you see, but she did. Emotionally rather than physically, she did. But no one knew this! Not a one but she, she knew.

It was quite alright, it was. Matters were features brushed to the wind. It was all right, and she would live with it.

When she next smiled the smile so readily displayed still no one noticed. But she smiled for herself, she did, and even though her porcelain features cracked and splintered and shattered and the tears and smile fell down, down, down, she would smile on the inside. On the inside, if not the outside, she would smile.

←- Lost | -Remorse- -→

Date	Name	Comment
17 Jan 2001	Megan Larson	Loading... sighs and wanders off in thought
6 Feb 2001	David 'Wik' S. Percival	Loading... Okay, I like your repetition (again). You have a knack (oh god, I said "knack"...Now Mr. Rogers is gonna kill me!) for it. Okay, what can I possibly say? Oh, yeah. What I think it's about: I think it's about a therapist, or a nun - someone who spends her life listening to the problems of others, and just has this feeling that she can't tell people of her own problems. And she has this feeling of angst. And the references to Porcelain state how fragile and delicate she is...Am I close, or is it just over-analyzing? As usual, love your work.
13 Feb 2001	Nike Roos aka LadyMin	Loading... Oh, that's amazing. The repitition makes it so intense. And the imagery is great. Who it is about? I'll tell you. It's about me, how I felt at a time when I was very alone, and very frightened, paralyzed in my own cocoon. It's about me eight years ago. I am very different now, but this story is about me... sighs Well, I suppose you didn't think of that, but is there anything better than a reader feeling your story describes himself? I'd like to know who you _thought_ of, though. It could be about a kid's toy - that just came to mind, some doll loved alot by its owner, but not ever able to express her own feelings, and not even allowed to have them... well. Liked the idea of the nun, too. Or an actress or a model, someone who is loved much, but whose innermost feeling never are listened to. Will you tell me who you wanted to write about? I love the story.
20 Feb 2001	John Teall	Loading... this sounds so like the mental condition of someone i'm very close to whom i try to hug and encourage a lot but sometimes i get impatiant and frustrated with too (because sometimes she seems to want so much attention and i NEED so much solitude) - well maybe it's a little bit like me sometimes too - and maybe even a little like all of us who are even a little creative also ... - as for what it's about - i think it pretty accurately describes at least my own understanding of what mental unwellness is really all about - that tripping over our own emotional shoelaces sort of thing - not the more dramatic extremes of it but the more day to day experience of chronic but only partialy dibilitating forms of it ... ~
28 Mar 2001	Jackie	Loading... Wow. This is good. I really think its about...or rather can have many people realte to it. I realte to it so much, a little too much. It makes me think, remember things, maybe I'll listen more carefully to the crying soals around me. I think its about somebody who constantly listens to everybodies problems giving them advise, but has not a soal to tell his/her own problems to. Very sad really. Another idea that popped in my mind as I read this is maybe this is about someone who never gets paid attention to. Someone who is always stepped and trampled on, like a mat placed upon the floor only to be torn and beaten. Like a toy that nobody liked thrown against the wall. Like a lost soal with no shoulder to cry on. Like so many children judged by their appearences. Made fun of in school, giggleling children laughing at their braces, bellie, glasses, wheelchair. Poor little soal, lost in the croud. A smiles to impresse, to please, to appease. A smile to crack a porcelain doll. Practicing in a mirror, the show is tommorow. Better practice, better get ready, better hurry. As they say, "The show must go on" even if your filled with tears. I'll always listen, but mever am I heard.
30 May 2001	Karina2	Loading... . . . Reminds of a lot of people I know. Reminds me of me before I met the one person who could see my smile, inside and out. I love, Emzie. Is very good. Very, very good.
2 Jul 2002	Chay	Loading... Hey Emily I love how you put so much meaning and feeling into this writting...I have tried and tried to write a story that would touch people, but I have failed everytime...but you, you know how to put the emotion into a composition, simply beautiful, great job, I luv it!
23 Aug 2003	Sarah Colley	Loading... Beautifully done. I like how it can really speak to a lot of people, in different ways, depending on mood and the reader themself.
30 May 2007	Trevor D. Worthey	Loading... It's an emotional piece ABOUT emotion. Lovely Again, I bow to your feet, Madame Kirsch. (^_^)