"Black and White chapters one and two" by Emily Ramos

Inverted

(Stephenie’s Story)

By Emily Ramos

            Chapter:

            I was almost back home when my car coughed, groaned, and stopped. I tried twisting the key in the ignition, but the car stubbornly refused to respond. I sat back with a heavy sigh. I’d passed Presque Isle about seven miles back. That was still six miles to Caribou, and I wasn’t going to walk that far at night, during an ice-storm.

            I shut my eyes and tried to think. I had to do something, or I’d probably freeze to death. I slammed my fist against the edge of the steering wheel. My cell phone was dead, so I couldn’t call anyone. Hadn’t I passed a gas station a couple miles back? It would be a nasty walk, but not as bad as walking all the way the six miles to Caribou.

            The ice was building on my car. I didn’t have much time to decide what to do. Heaving another sigh, I grabbed my bag from the passenger seat and shoved my door open. I slung my bag across my back and began to make my way back to the gas station.

            Glacial winds tore at my coat and drove pinpricks of ice into my skin. I kept my head down, and the hand that wasn’t clutching my coat closed was at my hood, keeping it over my head. The light was completely swallowed by the menacing dark clouds. It looked like midnight at six in the evening.

            Lightning flashed across the sky, briefly illuminating the land. I realized in that moment that I was struggling across a frozen lake, with a few inches of snow across the top. Thunder boomed and I jumped. My long leather coat was wrenched from my grip and flew out almost completely unhindered behind me. It was only my bag across my chest that kept the coat on me.

            There was another so bright that I couldn’t see where it came from. For that brief moment, it was as if my vision had inverted; all the dark places were suddenly light and the light dark. The flash was so closely followed by crash of thunder that they seemed to happen simultaneously. The thunder was deafening, it sounded as if it were directly above me.

            The next flash of lightning seemed to be proceeded by the thunder, it happened so quickly. Or maybe my senses were getting screwed up, like when you’re sinking in black water and you don’t know which way is up.

            It was that disorienting flash that caused me to lose my footing and fall. And then the ice cracked beneath me and I was immersed in the glacial water.

            I knew I had to take my boots and coat off and drop my bag – they were pulling me down. But I panicked. If I took my coat off, I would freeze! It hardly seemed a problem that I was drowning. I was more concerned about hypothermia or frostbite. I told myself over and over to drop everything and swim to the surface, but by then my muscles had frozen up so I just sank deeper, the hole I’d gone through nearly invisible.

            I kept my eyes open even though the freezing water burned them. There seemed to be a break in the clouds far above and a beam of light reached down and surrounded me, as if saying goodbye. And then it was gone.

            A figure suddenly took form from the darkness above me. I gasped in the icy water and began to struggle instinctively. Fear hit me in such a sudden frenzy that I contorted in pain as I choked for air. But my struggle was futile. Even if I managed to get out of the water, I was still going to freeze to death. My life was over, either way.

            And yet, the figure swam on, even though it was clear he could not, would not, be able to save me. I gave up the struggle, wishing he wouldn’t risk his life to try to save mine. I wasn’t worth a second life.

            He hesitated for the briefest moment before propelling himself towards me. I wanted to scream at him to stop and turn around, but it took all my energy not to breath in more water. He paused again, perhaps wondering if I were already dead. I felt confusion suddenly overwhelm my senses, but I didn’t know why I was confused.

            Dark spots began to cloud my vision, and I couldn’t tell how close he was. His hand gripped my arm, but I couldn’t make myself respond so he wrapped his arm around my waist and began to pull me to the surface. I knew I was dead weight; I wished he would just drop me and get himself out. I wished he would save himself, even through the fear that was enveloping my mind.

            His grip tightened, as if he’d heard inside my mind and he swam faster. My lungs ached for air, and my blood had turned to ice. But none of that mattered. I could only think that someone else was going to die trying to save me.

            I was sure he wouldn’t be able to find the hole, and I was right. I could hear a tapping on the ice, as strange as it was in my ears. But somehow we got through and I lay coughing on my side in the middle of the ice-storm.

            I scrunched my eyes closed, trying to get rid of the burning, the pelting ice seemed to stop. I opened my eyes to see if it was true. But it wasn’t. My rescuer was leaning over me, protecting me from the worst of the storm.

            Looking around, I saw that there was a jagged hole in the ice a couple feet away. There were also shards of ice scattered across the top of the snow. Had he broken through the ice?

            “Are you okay?” he asked. His voice was quiet, but distinct and I could hear it easily over the storm.

            It was at that point that I realized that my body was completely numb and I was also shivering uncontrollably. “Are you?” I asked back, my chattering teeth making my words shake.

            “I’m fine, trust me. You should be worrying about yourself rather than me.” His teeth weren’t chattering. He wasn’t even shivering. And he wasn’t wearing a coat.

            Light swung across the landscape and I realized he had a flashlight. It had been that beam, not the sun, which had hugged me goodbye. A cold, manmade shock of light, not a gentle golden sunbeam. My heart sank with a strange, confusing sadness. And then I felt dizzy, and knew I was about to pass out.

            My rescuer was sitting at my side when I woke. Before I could even think a question, he spoke.

            “You’re at my house, in the…guestroom. My name is Alexander.”

            “Stephenie,” I whispered. I was still freezing, but I wasn’t numb anymore. “I’m still going to die, you know.”

            Alexander looked disturbed by my statement, as if he thought I knew something he didn’t. “You won’t die. You’ll be fine.”

            I sat up on my elbows. “I probably have hypothermia or something. Pneumonia. I should call someone. Mom. D – not him, stupid,” I muttered.

            “Why not call your father?” Alexander asked, probably to keep me from planning my funeral and thinking about death. Well the joke was on him.

            “He’s dead. A couple weeks ago.”

            “I’m sorry. Is your mother alright?”

            I snorted. “Like she cares. They were divorced. The rest – my brother and step-dad didn’t like him all that much. I was coming back from his funeral.” I frowned. This stranger certainly didn’t care about my life.

            Alexander’s face was empty – a mask. I studied his blank face carefully. He was remarkably pale, with no hint of an old summer tan marring his snowy skin. His midnight colored hair was much longer than most of the boys’ I knew, and it was held tightly back by an almost invisible black hair tie. His eyes were dark sapphire, like a deep and clear lake.

            I knew instantly that he was different. It wasn’t just his flawless features, or the way he gazed at me with such intensity. No, it was the subtle things. Like how he was holding himself away from me, even though he was trying not to let me see. Yes, he was different.

            “You should call an ambulance. If I have hypothermia, I should be at a hospital.”

            Alexander looked at me incredulously. “I already tried. The phone lines are down. I’m not irresponsible like that.” As if I want you to be here.

            His mumbled words made me scowl. Why would he say something like that with me sitting here? I tried to ignore it, as I obviously hadn’t been meant to hear it.

            “Well, at least now my mother will know how I died.”

            He laughed shortly, a skeptical smile on his lips. “You’re really determined to die, aren’t you?”

            I shrugged, thinking about my words before I said them. “Death is unavoidable. I’ve resigned myself to that.”

            Alexander smirked, as if sharing a private joke with himself.

            “What?” I asked, slightly unnerved.

            His smirk turned to a smile and his sapphire eyes sparkled. “Nothing. Just the way you said that. ‘Death is unavoidable.’”

            “What about it?”

            “I think it’s sad, hearing someone so young talk about death like that. And here I thought you teenagers were immortal.”

            “You can’t be that much older than me,” I said skeptically. Alexander’s only answer was a secretive grin, revealing a row of perfectly straight white teeth. After I was certain that was the only answer I would get, I went on. “Besides, just because I know I’m not immortal doesn’t mean that I never do crazy stunts.”

            “What, like drowning yourself?”

            I did my best at trying to ignore his remark. “Do you have a bathroom I could use?” I couldn’t resist the evil urge to snap back, so I added, “I might just try to drown myself again.” I said it more sourly than I’d meant, but it had the same effect.

            Alexander frowned at me, looking wary. Maybe she’s crazy. “That’s not funny.”

            Again with the insensitive muttering! What was wrong with this guy? Oh, great. He was looking at me as if I had two heads – no, three! He laughed and I glared at him angrily.

            “Bathroom?”

            “Down the hall to the left. Try not to get lost or you might meet my panther. He might try to eat you.”

            My glare deepened as I threw the covers aside. Alexander flinched as the air brushed past him, as if he’d been stung. I kept a frown to myself until I got into the hall and shut the door behind me.

            The bathroom was hard to miss. Even so, I lingered outside of it, tempted to go down the rest of the way. But Alexander’s comment about a panther stilled me. I was relatively certain he didn’t actually have a panther, but maybe he had a mean dog. So I went into the bathroom, then shut and locked the door behind me.

             I leaned against the sink, looking at myself in the mirror. I gasped suddenly, realizing why Alexander’s muttered comments had disturbed me so much. His mouth hadn’t moved!

            Chapter:

            I sat dumbly on the edge of the green bathtub for several minutes before I realized that I was shivering again. I stood, and then stepped into the tub. The knobs on the shower stuck a little, but soon enough I had the water going. I sat, fully clothed, in the direct path of the scalding water.

            I pushed my wet hair back from my face and let the water heat my skin for a few moments. Then I put my face in my hands and began sobbing.

            It was the first time I had shed tears in a long time. I hadn’t even cried at my father’s funeral. My father. My best friend. Martin James. The one person I’d trusted implicitly. And I hadn’t cried for him.

            All the anger, pain, and sadness I’d spent my teenage years numbing erupted into wrenching sobs. From my parent’s divorce to my brother stealing my favorite book, it all came out as tears.

            I realized then, that I actually wished I had drowned. I realized that I didn’t want to have to live in a world where my father would never be again. Even through the fear drowning had brought, I wished it had been completed.

            The doorknob rattled and I flinched. At least I’d thought to lock it.

            I hugged my arms around myself, the water going cold. I slid down in the tub until I was mostly laying down and the lukewarm water was hitting my face, washing away the salty tears.

            “Stephenie!” Alexander called frantically. “Stephenie!”

            I shut my eyes, wishing I could do the same with my ears. It was too bright and suddenly far too loud. I shivered, the water had abruptly turned icy.

            “Stephenie!” It sounded as if he were screaming in my ear.

            Then I heard the sound of splintering wood. I felt a hand at my throat almost instantly afterwards, checking my pulse. I opened my eyes. Alexander was leaning over me but quickly withdrew when he saw that I was alright. He leaned away and shut the water off and then was staring down at me again, amazement in his hypnotic sapphire eyes.

            “You really tried to drown yourself.” I couldn’t tell if the tone in his voice was awe or horror.

            If that was what he wanted to think, fine. I didn’t feel like arguing. “I have a headache.”

            “So do you try to kill yourself every time you have a headache?” Incredulous again. He was really getting on my nerves with the Holier-than thou act.

            “I only had the headache after you started yelling. Why were you yelling at me?”

            “I was worried.”

            He cared?

            “Come on, aren’t you worried about hypothermia?”

            “No, I think it would be more realistic to worry about pneumonia.”

            “Well, come on, laying there won’t help anything.”

            He pulled me to my feet and then led the way back to the guest room. I passed out half-way there.

*

            When I woke up, I stubbornly kept my eyes shut, wishing back the blank darkness. The first thing that penetrated my suddenly vivid senses was a high-pitched, steady beeping. Then came the over-cleaned and disinfected smell. I knew where I was. I opened my eyes to confirm it.

            Sure enough, four bland off-white walls surrounded me. I sat up carefully, in case there were any wires or tubes stuck into me that I couldn’t feel, and looked around. The room was empty except for me, the beeping monitor, and some scattered furniture. A typical hospital room.

            I frowned, wondering how Alexander had gotten me to the hospital in the middle of an ice storm, and then I wondered if he’d stayed. Apparently he had because, as if called by my thoughts, he appeared in the doorway.

            “You are up,” he said in surprise.

            “Yes,” I replied, rolling my shoulders.

            “You don’t have hypothermia or pneumonia.”

            “Then why did I pass out?”

            “The doctor said it was exhaustion.”

            I slumped, completely frustrated. “Are we at Cary?”

            “Yes.”

            “How’d you get me here?”
            “There was a break in the storm. I drove.” How else?

            I sighed angrily. “Is my mother here?”

            “Yes.”

            “Would you go get her?”

            “Yes.” Your highness.

            “Uh! You insensitive moron! Just because I nearly drowned doesn’t mean I’m deaf!” My voice sounded abnormally loud.

            His expression was all innocent confusion. “What are you talking about?” She should be in an institution.

            “I heard that!” I cried, indignant.

            “Heard what? My question? Very good, you’ve proved you aren’t deaf. You’re just insane! I’ll go tell your mother you’re up. Nice knowing you. Sorry for saving your life.”

            “Good riddance!”

            I glared at him as he left, and then kept my bitter face for my mother.

            …can’t believe she could be so ungrateful! I thought she would at least say thanks. Women these days. There’s her mother. She is such an aristocrat…

            Oh, God! I was hearing things! I pressed my hands against my ears and squeezed my ears tight shut. Did schizophrenia run in my family? Or had my brush with death driven me insane? Was I crazy?

            “Stephenie? What’s wrong?”

            I opened my eyes at my mother’s voice. “Mom.”

            “That boy said you were up.”

            “That boy saved my life.” Why was I getting defensive?

            “He said you almost drowned, are you okay?

            “I’m fine, mama,” I said, imitating a southern accent. Why had I done that?

            “Micah and John are in the waiting room, can they come see you?”

            “Micah can.” I made no secret of my distaste for John. I didn’t trust the man.

            “Stephenie,” Ellen sighed at me.

            “No, mom. Don’t start this right now.”

            She started it anyway. “I want you and John to get along. Please, Stephenie. Just let him come see you, he’s worried.”

            “No.”

            Ellen straightened up. “I’ll be right back,” she snapped.

            Emotions hit me as soon as she left the room; anger, disgust and regret. Regret? Why was I feeling regret? Anger and disgust I could understand, but regret? I was going crazy. Either that or something happened to me. I hadn’t died, I wasn’t even sick. What was going on?

            The emotions disappeared as Micah entered the room, followed by Ellen and John.

            “How do you feel?” Micah asked.

            “I’m fine. What’s he doing here?”

            “Stephenie be nice! He’s your dad!”

            That set me off. I jumped up from the bed, yanking all the wires and tubes away. The heart monitor immediately flat-lined. “He is not my father! He is not part of my family! He is nothing! I want to go home and be left alone!” And I was going to need a new car.

            A doctor entered the room at a near run. I glared at him. I was glaring at everyone.

            “Stephenie you need to calm down,” the doctor said softly. It still seemed loud.

            “No! I want to go home!” I was out of control, but I had to get out of there!

            “Listen, Stephenie, you can go home, but your mom has to go sign the release papers, okay? Just sit down, okay?”

            I nodded sharply and sat shakily on the edge of the bed.

            A short twenty minutes later we were home. I ignored Ellen’s furious threats to declare me an uncontrollable minor and climbed the carpeted stairs to my room. I slammed the door, making my windows rattle. Then I turned on my CD player on the lowest volume, but the angry music still seemed to split inside my skull. I collapsed into my bed. Maybe I was exhausted.

            I curled up under my bright green sleeping bag and lost track of time. I didn’t even realize when the CD ended. The thing that got my attention was a light knock on my bedroom door.

            “Go away, mom.”

            “It’s not your mother.”

            Alexander? What was he doing here? I got out of my bed, shivering as the cool air touched my skin. I opened my door and found that Alexander was indeed standing there. He looked overly tense, as though something was seriously bothering him.

            “What are you doing here?” I thought I’d seen the last of him.

            He lifted the bag that I hadn’t even realized he’d had. My bag. “I figured I should probably return this to you.”

            “How did you know where I lived?”

            “Your wallet, silly,” he said, stepping past me and ruffling my already untidy hair. He was at least a foot taller than me, and I would have had to look up to glare, so I didn’t bother. He laughed, quickly trying to stifle it.

            “I’m glad to see you haven’t tried to kill yourself again.”

            “I was getting to it,” I snapped sarcastically. “I’m so disappointed you stopped me the last time.”

            He turned and studied my expression carefully until I sighed with frustration.

            “Look, I’m not suicidal.”

            “I know.”

            “Then why are you looking at me like I’m going to jump out the window?”

            His lovely eyes were brooding. “I don’t know.”

            I sat cross-legged on my bed and stared at him in silence. He held my gaze until I had to look away.

            …Amazing…

            “What?”

            “I didn’t say anything.” Did it work?

            “Oh. Okay.”

            “Um, your car is at my farm. I know someone who can fix it. For free.”

            “Thanks. I – I thought you hated me. I mean, we don’t even know each other, and your saving my life and gettin’ my car fixed. Why?”

            “It’s all part of the bigger picture. I’ll bring the car over when it’s fixed. See you.”

            “Bye.”

            I sat there, clutching my bag, as he left, another strange surge of emotion washing through me.