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This is a short story about a man and an orc who found out that were not as different as they were told they were. It's my first story,so please,show some understanding...
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Since I was born I was told to be afraid of some creatures
such as agres,trolls,orc and many other beasts that walk our land
.
My father was a farmer.My older brother became one, too.But I
beleived tha the life of a farmer was not the one I should live.
So I left and joined a mercenary army.I spent eleven years of
my life learning how to wield a sword and fight.
I was almost thirty when I left that army and started my travels
across the land.
One day I met one of beasts I was told to be aware of,
an orc.For a moment we stood still and looked at each other.
He was tall,taller than me,and his skin as green.His armor
was nothing like what we call an armor.It was mostly parts of
different armors all put together with leather.But also he had
a sword.His sword looked more like a sharp piece of metal,
rather than a sword.But it huge,and it was sure that if it could
cut you then it would break your bones.
The moment pasted.
We grabed our swords and attacked.
I was carring a shield and a short sword.His first attack
hit my shield,broke it,knoked me down,and broke my arm.
I stood up fast trying to keep a safe distance from him.
He charged against me,I dogded his sword and hit him
in his left leg.I saw the blood gausing out and I felt satisfied.
Unfortunatelly,the orc was moving as if I had missed him.
I was feeling dizzy because of my broken arm,and he looked
just fine!
He attacked again.
I dodged.
I saw a small opening.
I attacked.
He hit me with the hilt of his sword and two or threee ribs.
I hit his lungs.The pain I felt was so great,I could hardly stand up.
This attack did also some good damage to the orc.He was standing
still,looking at me,waiting fo my next move.We stood still for a few
minutes.Then he fainted.I could have killed him.He was in front
of me,unconsious.However,I didn't kill him.I fainted.
I woke up the next morning, and found my self lying on a
bed,in a small wooden house.I stood up.My armor was
next to my along with my sword.I stepped outside only
to find the orc sitting next to an old lady.
When she saw me se simply said "Good."
And then she entered the house,which was more like
a hut,and both of them disappeared.
"She was a spirit of the forest.She took us in
and healed our wounds.My name is Grimdelb.
You didn't kill me,so I no longer consider you
an enemy."
"My name is Garmir,son of Themar."
It's been nineteen years since that fight.
Grimdelb and I became companions and friends.
We have travelled almost all over the land.
And we shall keep on doing so,till the very end of our lives,
me and the beasts I was told to be afraid of.
It looks like that in deep inside we are all the same.
| Date | Name | Comment | | | 30 Jul 2008 | Patricia M. D´Angelo | Loading...For a first try, this was a good attempt. The idea behind your story is a strong point. The more you write, the better you will get at it. Try using strong verbs. An example, your sentence:
He hit me with the hilt of his sword and two or threee ribs. He smashed the hilt of his sword into my ribs, cracking bone and forcing a low groan from my throat.
Welcome to the woods as well. Kostas Mavros replies: "Thanks for the tip!But,since english is not my mother tongue I find it hard to express myself in english.Practise..." | |
| 3 Aug 2008 | Patricia M. D´Angelo | Loading...I’ve always admired anyone with the ability to write in another language. One thing that might help as well is an online dictionary/thesaurus. English is my native language, and even I find it very useful to keep open in another window when I write. The site I use is http://www.merriam-webster.com | |
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