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Leigh *Shwin* Erickson

"Blackened Eyes" by Leigh *Shwin* Erickson

SciFi/Fantasy text 16 out of 25 by Leigh *Shwin* Erickson.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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A quickly written poem telling about how the dialos (death) came to have it's black eyes. Things you need to know are that the Artist is one of the key elements in the death process (you'll read more about him/her in part 3 of Death's Tears (haven't decided) so don't worry too much about who he/she is right now...
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←- Death's Tears Parts 14-17 | Federain -→
The blackening of death’s eyes came

when once in face of rape and flame

an innocent too young to die

was taken by the Artist’s eye

to the next life where she found peace

in freedom and in grief’s release

when of those mourning her three came

to be with her in death’s stanch claim

her loss to them too much to bear

that in their pain they lost all care

for life and brought the Artist’s hand

to them, scarce could they understand

that by their choice sharp blades of grief

would be unleashed and find their sheath

in many who now wept and mourned

those three live; and in black adorned

they cursed death’s choice and felt such pain

that death, aware, could not remain

impassive to their anguished cries

and watch with blank, unseeing eyes

that showed no pity, saw no wrong

in fashioning a wailing throng

of mourners; Now he saw the tears

that filled bleak hearts for endless years

He felt such sorrow for their race

that many tears fell to embrace

his curse, a grief too long ignored

by he who weaknesses abhorred

yet now confronted with the guilt

of all the tears and lifebloods spilt

he was wracked with intense harsh pain

that will alone could not restrain

that filled all spaces and destroyed

the substances that stayed the void

of nothing which life tried to fill

and thus fell prey to grief’s first kill

Life n’er again from darkness rose

but in revenge its resting chose

to rot and burn in blackened eyes

that ached with grief and brought demise

to all mortals who dared to peer

into their pools of hate and fear
←- Death's Tears Parts 14-17 | Federain -→

DateNameComment 
23 Sep 2003:-) Kristin Bremmer
Must be pretty dark.... anyhoo excellent poem m'dear sorry its been awhile my comps really broken i'm supposeed to be getting a new one this weekend well last weekend actually but i keep being lied to *shakes fist at evil parents* therfore i should be updating soon maybe with any luck!! and my Lothlorien gallery should be up soon i'll keep you informed!! urr Bye K///

1 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Thank you!! No worries about taking awhile, I understand... in February I'm going to be non-existant here... ooooh updates!!!! *is excited* yes yes!! Keep me informed!! Do! Do!! It'll be great fun to read more!!! Well thankee for stopping by... *waves*"
17 Oct 2003:-) Kate 'The Pirate' Riley
hmm intriguing. I agree with the above this is very very dark but big fan of the death writing! I love the rhyming couplets in this. Very cool and even though you said don't worry about the artist immediatly I wanna know who she is! will check back later ta taZ xx

12 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Tha Artist will be revealed in the next update of Death's Tears... aka.. chapter 6 *nods* or 7... 7 too... but since I'm posting now two chapters at a time... *Grin* aye, tis very dark *nods* but it was meant to be... so I'm glad that was conveyed... I'm glad you liked it! 8 syllables and rhyming couplets... *Grin* tis a style I'm trying to get out of... I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for stopping by, reading, and commenting!!!"
23 Oct 2003:-) Tate 'Doesn't Have A Cool Nickname' James
Great job on this! Your rhyming and meter and everything was very good, and the entire poem seemed to flow effortlessly. *nods* yup, this is definately a great poem

1 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Thank you!!! Wow!! Those are all high praises indeed on a poem!!! (and to think I'm not too fond of it... *wink* but what writer's fond of their own writing?) Thank you so very very much!!!"
8 Nov 2003:-) Amber Silver
Everything was absolutely awesome! It flowed like silken honey. One little nit-picky thing though, should 'Artist's' be capitalized? Im not toooooo sure. Anyway, I LOVE IT!

2 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Silken honey? Wow!! That's quite a compliment on a poem! Artist, yes, that should be capitalized... in the next chapter of DT that I update the Artist'll be introduced... but thank you so much for the nice comment and for reading!!"
20 Nov 2003:-) Yuki Erika Radcliffe
This is beautiful. Sad, but beautiful.
And very very sad.
But what less could i expect from you? It was excellent. The emotions in all your stories are very strong, and i find that emotions are very hard to put into words sometimes. You, however, have a knack for it.

2 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "they really need a blushing smiley... *grin* to think that i'm not even all that fond of this! AS for emotion, i try to write about only that which i understand... i'm glad it is conveyed well regardless of my opinion on it *wink* wow! thanks so much! not only for the nice compliment/comment but for coming over and reading and remembering me! means a lot! thanks!"
28 Dec 2003:-) Kaykamisch2
Yeah...I'm still going to have to read this "Death's Tears" story of yours...I keep hearing so much about it!
It might not be as good as some of your other poems, but it's still VERY readable, very enjoyable. You really do have quite a bit of taken, even on those you just sorta "knock out" while at work/school. -Kay

2 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "yes... def. need the blushing smiley... *HUGS* thank you so much!!! Aww! I'm so glad you like my stuff so far!! *is happy* *is smiling* *laughs* Yay! Thanks so much for coming over and for the lovely comments!!!"
7 Jan 2004:-) ´Disco´ Vic Alfieri
Wow, good stuff, lots of rhyming words, i like this one, and will have to read your stories to find out more about it, but it's good as a stand alone poem as well.....

1 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Thank you!!! *grin* I worte this in one sitting i'll admit... was kinda bored and this came out... yes... i'm glad you think it's good and glad you read it and thanks so much for your reading and comments!!!"
11 Jan 200445 Danielle *Cheetah Tamer* Fonseca
Very nice poem. Loved how the rhyming flowed together nicely. The first thing of yours that i've read and i like dit very much!

1 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "YOU!!! *grin* I've seen you about!! Hee hee, honoured you found your way to my page!! thanks so much for reading this and for commenting! I'm glad you liked it!! (though i'm not that fond of it12 but hey, my opinion doesn't really count seeing as it's my writing... twisted logic... *nods* (ignore me... it's late12) thanks for the visit!!!"
2 Feb 2005:-) E Purington
...
O_O
How long did it take you to write this? Amazing...
No periods. Never ended. Unnerving and a bit haunting. Capitalized on Life. In so many ways...
/his curse, a grief too long ignored
by he [who] weaknesses abhorred// whommmm. Hehe. I just learned the difference, so's I gots an eye for it now. It's like replacing who with he and whom with him; you wouldn't say "weaknesses abhorred he" you'd say "weaknesses abhorred him". That's how I remember it anyway. Sorry, I'm babbling.

The rhythm was smooth, the rhyming superb. Great visuals, beautiful language. I love poetry, and it's always great to find such magnificent poets in the 'woods.
Lovely

:-) Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "this? hmm... two years ago *squints* probably a couple days... i was more exact with my poetry back then^_~
oops! thanks for catching that! darn... grammar^_~ who needs it anyway, right?^_~
*blushes* um, thanks for commenting and enjoying so much... *scuffs foot, embarrassed* yes, thanks^_^ very appreciative^_^ glad to hear you enjoyed it^_^"
21 Jun 2005:-) B. Layne Weaver
Hi, Leigh! *waves*
{{waves cheerily}} 'lo^_^

"Life n’er again from darkness rose" Isn't the shortened form of "never" actually "ne'er"? Or is it an either/or thing? *is unsure*
heh... it's me and the shortening thing issues...

Reading these short pieces is definitely making me more and more curious about "Death's Tears" *nods*
{{grins}} yeah? this one's about alranos, though, truly... heh... {{hides}}

I agree with Em... great visuals and beautiful language. Your poems seem to have a rare beauty in them. Love them!{{blushes}} thanks... {{blushes and ducks head again}}
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'Blackened Eyes':
 • Created by: :-) Leigh *Shwin* Erickson
 • Copyright: ©Leigh *Shwin* Erickson. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Black, Curse, Daeth, Eyes, History, Pain, Regret
 • Categories: Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters
 • Views: 422

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More by 'Leigh *Shwin* Erickson':
Death's Tears Parts 7-10
The Great Evil
Light's Sacrifice
A Brook of Frozen Glass
Federain
Lonesome Traveler

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