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Leigh *Shwin* Erickson

"Bonded" by Leigh *Shwin* Erickson

SciFi/Fantasy text 25 out of 25 by Leigh *Shwin* Erickson.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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This idea has been with me a long time but I never had the means to write it... so I was reading some Poe the other day and suddenly the idea struck... borrow The Raven's meter!! So I did (it's fun! you should try it!) and this is what happened...

For Trish for 1250 i believe^_~
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←- The Pianist | Lonesome Traveler -→

Born a guardian and a maiden both with cruel fates heavy laden

born a moment filled with darkness in a land where none can say

fair born angel and a child one of light the other wild

at her birth, hell’s dark prince smiled for she was fair as the fey

shadows’ love, hell’s dark prince, smiled for she was fair as the fey

bright eyes shining as the day



Now the angel and the fair girl were bound always by a shell’s whorl

set in black stone, a medallion, round their necks in dark array

black stone stressed dark man and child, all in all it drove them wild

where their fellow soul so mild dwelled was their life long assay

finding where twin souls so mild dwelled was their life long assay;

stressed them more than words convey



Now the angel set to find her, searching, yearning, for the answer

to the question ever plaguing: Who was fairer than the fey?

So he searched in ev’ry place where he might find the one who deemed fair,

was more pure than light the hosts share in their quest for lasting day

sought more after than the hosts’ share in their quest for lasting day

she would never fade away



Searched he ever for her glory, ne’er forgetting his dear quarry

bane of angels, bride of heaven, he was sure she’d lead the way

through the darkness that enslaved him, ‘round the demons that e’er braved him

sure she’d be the one who saved him from the nightmares of the day

She, his saviour; one who saved him from the nightmares of the day

“Help me find her.” He would pray



Now the maid was no less yearning, for the answer her soul burning

who the man was who e’er haunted ev’ry night and ev’ry day;

dreamt his face fair as a stallion, hair the hue of their medallion

eyes like waves cut by a galleon wand’ring where the merfolk play

eyes of blue like waves a galleon slices through where merfolk play;

nothing would her longing stay



Known, she was, for ever standing near the heavens e’er demanding

On her balc’ny over waters “Who will this, my longing, stay?”

E’er despairing with a mute cry, wond’ring ever with a pained “Why?”

Shouting ever at the dark sky: “Who is he who sears my day?”

Never resting, asking heav’n’s sky “Who is he who sears my day?

His face never goes away.”



But the angel was not lonely in his quest, ne’er once the only

one who sought his bonded lady each and ev’ry passing day;

in the shadows masterminding how to ruin thus this finding

and prevent them from e’er binding so his heart might have its way

Prince of hell prevents their binding so his heart might have its way

Ever chaining his fair prey



Her faith resting, only ever, in her prince, knowing he’d never

faith betray nor let her suffer in dark arms as evil’s prey

but with evil’s son conniving, his dark plans so swiftly thriving

her world fell with his arriving; soul held by the bane of day

she fell far with his arriving; soul held by the bane of day

her soul’s death, faith’s grim decay



black hell’s prince, lord of all dark things; lord of night and of death’s harsh stings

now seized fast and firm the soul of he who searched long for the day

his fair body a pawn willing, list’ning to hell’s voice so chilling

his soul loathing the voice killing who he was; who barred his way

Angel loathing the voice killing who he was; who barred his way

making him, his love, betray



bound to darkness never lifting caught in bonds e’er never shifting

angel watching in the darkness as the black one sought his prey

watched with tears as darkness seized her, silent, screamed while hell’s prince pleased her

never knowing how hell teased her in bleak hours of the day

with her angel’s face hell teased her in bleak hours of the day

naught would e’er her longing stay



Suff’ring deep, the maid knew certain that behind frail flesh’s curtain

far behind the mask of evil that her lover wore each day

that there lay, to her alliant, his soul captured and defiant

one to slay the pit’less giant who on their twin souls did prey

her fair angel’d slay the giant who on their twin souls did prey

grim, she swore she’d find the way



But unknown to man and maiden darkness crept in tendrils laden

with deceit for with time’s passing both their souls would fade away

for the child of the devil with a head so cool and level

soon in their lifeblood would revel as was hell’s spawn’s morbid way

souls now his, in blood he’d revel as was hell’s spawn’s morbid way

soon he led their souls astray



Fast surrounded by hell’s black dark, left with light- naught but a dim spark

souls now dangled o’er forever’s painful never ending way

for their captor had betrayed them, with his charm and wit had stayed them

from discov’ring where he’d laid them, deep within hell’s darkest quay

never finding where he’d laid them, deep within hell’s darkest quay;

slowly fading with the day



But the angel deep in bondange, covered thickly with black frondage

bound with hell’s dark vines woke sudden, fighting ‘gainst the death of day

for a vision of his story, bright, a glimpse of his dear quarry

fleet, sped o’er hell’s waves so gory, freshly making his soul pray

he despised hell’s waves so gory, freshly making his soul pray

light would never fade away



So he fought the bonds that held him, fighting fierce till they dispelled him

rising in his soul so sudden that hell’s prince did nigh decay

taking hold of he who grasped him fighting hard till bonds unclasped him

heeding naught the final gasped whim of his captor, bane of day

turned his ears from, weak, the gasped whim of his captor, bane of day

he swore light would not decay



Now the angel turned to find her, sought from darkness to unbind her

Sought to rescue his fair maiden, bring her forth into the day

he cried out when, still, he found her, firm and tight the dark that bound her

cruel, the ropes were wrapped around her, skin so marred from hell’s cruel play

now he tore the ropes around her, skin so marred from hell’s cruel play;

sought to soothe her pain away



‘holding him she faintly smiled while her life, like tears, beguiled

slipping slowly from his grasp to join the quest for lasting day

ne’er before had tears so galling made their way in riv’lets falling

as she answered heaven’s calling and her dear soul slipped away

black tears fell with heaven’s calling and her dear soul slipped away

in his arms she passed away



Grieved, the angel wept, forsaking life and love, his frail heart breaking

screaming curses at the heavens for denying him his day

No bright joy could he remember, in his grief, life’s dying ember

all too simple to dismember; bright, his lifeblood slipped away

life so simple to dismember; bright, his lifeblood slipped away

so he joined her in the day



Now alive in heaven’s strong light great wings flashing as they take flight

Bonded angel and his maiden; rivals to the light of day

life in radiant light fulfilling all their love with gladness spilling

in black death no longer milling, all their pains swift fade away

drear in death no longer milling, all their pains swift fade away

in sweet ecstasy they play



Died a guardian and a maiden, spent their cruel fates heavy laden

died a moment wrapped in brilliance in a land where none can say

fair born angel and a child, one of light, the other wild

at their death the heaven’s smiled for they danced, light, as the fey

rapturous love, the heaven’s smiled for they danced, light, as the fey

bright eyes shining as the day



←- The Pianist | Lonesome Traveler -→

DateNameComment 
21 Jun 2004:-) Gabs Béland
*gasp gasp gasp*
FIRST COMMENT DANCE!!!
wow...now that is pretty cool...i love the way you used the raven's style..well i mean rhythm... hehehe 12
very good! i read it quite quickly so i must read it again...
FIRST COMMENT DANCE!!! *twitch*

1 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Thank you oh so much Gabs!!! I do appreciate it!!! hee hee... I had waaaaay too much fun reading this I must admit... yep... I'm so glad you liked it!!! Thanks for reading^_^"
22 Jun 200445 D Joelle Duran
Heh heh...since Gabs got first, I'm going too!

Very nice Leigh! You kept the meter very well, it seemed to me, and what a wonderful bittersweet ending. I thought it would be more tragic, this coming from you, =) but the final lines make it sweet, as well as bringing it back to the beginning. Beautifully told.

1 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Thank you!!!!! *beams* I'm glad I kept the meter... I know I breached it every once in a while.. but where that was was where I had read it so much it didn't stick out anymore *shakes head* it did get a lot of editing... but condidering the whole thing probably isn't more than a week old... ya know^_^

hee hee... i orginally had to take a break at the second to last stanza... it was bad... i wanted to finish because it ended so dark (not that Federain ends much happier right now) anyway... but I'm just rambling now... so thanks so for reading and for the lovely comment!!"
4 Jul 2004:-) Alice Muffin Girl Smith
~ 'bound to darkness never lifting caught in bonds **e'er** never shifting' < I might be completely wrong here, but is that word supposed to be there? I think it's screwing up the creepy Poe rhyme scheme. Speaking of Poe: you know what's REALLY scary about his poetry? It's perfect. Absolutely perfect. No syllable out of step, no rhyme un... rhymed. I get shivers just thinking about it... *shivers*
~ '**drear** in death no longer milling, all their pains swift fade away' < ...What is that word...?

Pretty cool, m'Lady Leigh, pretty cool. *grins* Actually, it made my head hurt at first. But only 'til I found the rhythm. ^_^

:-) Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "really? hmm... thought it fit... will have to read the whole thing when i'm not thinking about it to be sure... and there is nothing out of place? weird... must've gotten the meter wrong then... oops *runs away and hides* i feel ignorant... oops... drear is my shortened form of dreary... must be like ebon... do i have my own lingo going on here? ^_~

glad you found it pretty cool once you got beyond it... that's pretty good coming from you!! thanks!!"
31 Aug 2004:-) C. 'Liari' Seidel
Ooh, how fantastic! I loved it, it was great, the meter was awesome, and I'm running out of things to say! Good job! *tosses you a gooey cinnamin bun*

1 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "*beams* thank you!!! *catches cinnimon bun* this looks lovely^_^
thanks for the visit!! i do appriciate it!"
7 Sep 2004:-) Becca Lusher
Okay... You'll probably not like me for this, but you asked for my comment.
I love the Raven, you know I do, but still the meter makes me gasp for breath, because poetry should ever only be read out loud.

Anyway, you really have to be congratulated for making this work in the way that you did - it's a bit of a mammoth undertaking because the meter is far from easy.

However - I think the thing which makes the Raven work is the continuous repetition, and the pounding heart feeling that matches the imagery so perfectly. The meter in the Raven is more than just a meter to make it sound cool - it is what adds to the creepiness of the subject, and of course the repetition, and near supernatural elements add up with the perfection of style.

In short you've taken the meter but not the soul.

This isn't a bad thing, and I'm beginning to feel guilty here. This gave me a headache, mainly because I'm trying to stick with the rhythm, (which isn't all that easy) whilst also trying to grasp the story - they don't mesh very well together.

Now I really feel guilty because I know how hard you worked on this. If you take the two elements separately then definite kudos to you - the story and imagery is beautiful in places, and heartbreaking in others, the ending is lovely, and incredibly rare for you. Hope!

Similarly the fact you managed to hold the meter (mostly) is a superbly impressive feat.

But I can't add them together and get the same feeling.

Maybe it's because I love the Raven so much - maybe it's because I don't really comment on poetry - maybe it's just me. But you asked, so I've told you.
Still you write poetry so much better than me ^_^ so therefore you can ignore me completely.

12 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "like i'm going to go mad^_~ don't feel guilty^_^
you do bring up a good point actually... hmm... it was fun to write... i like it and when i read it i don't^_~ talk to me more on this... the repetition bit... what did i miss? *wants to try again* i will master this!!! if only in a 6 stanza... you've given me a project becca... thanks!!! *dances* and thanks for taking time to read this and for being honest^_^ *hugs*"
24 Sep 2004:-) Laura J. Korska
Holy S***!! I am in awe. Completely and utterly. Why this has no gold star I cannot figure. If I could write like that I would thank God every day. I haven't got much else to say, but I enjoyed reading this so much. It's so beautiful. It took me a couple stanzas to get into the rhythm and once I did, wow. Thanks for writing this. I must bookmark this page so I can come back and read more!

11 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "*blushes* thank you so much! *kicks ground with foot* *is still blushing* i'm glad you liked it so much... thank you for reading^_^"
7 Feb 2005:-) E Purington
Yay! The Raven! Oh how I love that poem... You did an excellent job with the structure! I've been thinking of doing one with "ight". I never thought about how many "ay"s there were. That was really neat. Was it hard keeping with the scheme?
I must admit tt was a bit difficult to feel the rhythm and keep up with the story, but I've gotta give you kudos for sticking with it so well!
The rhyming wasn't forced either, which could be tempting with such a restricted structure as this.
Amazing. Absolutely incredible.... well... warp ate reply... sooo... just replying a couple months later, yep...^_~
2 Dec 2005:-) B. Layne Weaver
Wow, I never fail to be awed by your talent with verse, m'dear! This was beautiful!
{{blushes}} thank you!^_^

*hugs*{{hugs back}} and thanks so much for finishing my library! i do really, really appreciate it^_^
25 Oct 200745 Lyn Shanra Joan Kuepers
one who deemed fair,
was more <- can’t have a comma after a subject and before the verb unless you’re putting them around a relative clause. (E.g. ’My uncle, who lives in Bath, was seventy-seven years old.&rsquo12

~Going to be evil and reply within... need to. Thank you... I tend to throw random not-needed commas in...

bound to <- I’m finding the capitalisation in this quite interesting. Ah. Not in a bad way or anything, just noticeable. Curious whether you’ve written it like this for a reason. *distracted by strange, shiny things*

~hee hee... was likely being lazy^_~

deep in bondange <- an n too many, I’d guess. Actually, the whole structure of this poem is fascinating. *is bad at figuring them out, but finds them very interesting all the same* I really like how you repeat half of a line in each stanza. It takes some getting used to, but that’s largely because I’ve never read a poem of this technical complexity. Very, very nicely executed.

~indeed... It was me copying Poe, truly, so he gets the credit for anything cool in the actual form... but so glad you liked it^_^ It was fun to write...

Having said that I do have to admit that I found this very, very hard to read. In part because of the punctuation (or lack there of) and thus not knowing where a sentence ended and the syntax of most of the lines. Ignore the latter, though, because I don’t think the poem would be quite as effective if it read differently. I very much agree on the dark and dragging words. It’s a very heavy poem to read and it really suits the subject matter. *smiles* I always find that a beautiful thing to look at.

~Hmm... any ideas on how to make it easier to read?

Mmm... I’m beginning to feel a little at a disadvantage never having read ’The Raven’ whose metre you stole, but never mind. It’s a gorgeous story and a superb rhyming scheme. You are a brave, brave woman. (And a very talented one, but adding that rather ruins the effect of the sentence.)

~Thanks! I’m not sure that I would recommend The Raven or not... I’m not much of a Poe fan, but if you like him, by all means go read it^_~

*smiles* I seem to be finding myself at a bit of a loss with sensible things to say about your works. In this case the poem is just so overwhelming. You’ve got a very story-heavy narrative and a very difficult rhyming scheme. I don’t mean these in a negative way, mind. I mean, I liked this. It’s very, very captivating. It’s just much heavier than what I usually read on both accounts, so I notice. *is babbling* Sorry...

~No worries, I like babbling^_^ Hmm... it’s all good. I’m finding your comments helpful.

Point is, there’s a few things that make this a very heavy, very difficult poem. Some of it’s fixable if you want to, most of it’s just the way the poem is and the poem works that way. The heaviness of the words and the lines echo bonds in their own way. I can see people disliking it muchly for that heaviness and difficulty and the fact that it doesn’t read as easily and flowing as most poetry. Me? I like it or I wouldn’t be commenting. I think the technical ingenuity in this is amazing and awe-inspiring and the story is very intense and sad.

*applauds and hopes that jumble of a comment makes some form of sense*

:-) Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Thanks! It’s an interesting thing {{pokes it}} but I’m glad you liked it and I do thank you for your detailed comment... I should take a look at it again, shouldn’t I..."
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'Bonded':
 • Created by: :-) Leigh *Shwin* Erickson
 • Copyright: ©Leigh *Shwin* Erickson. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Angel, Bonded, Devil, Faith, Girl, Guardian, Hell, Maid, Maiden
 • Categories: Angels, Religious, Spiritual, Holy, Romance, Emotion, Love
 • Views: 734

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More by 'Leigh *Shwin* Erickson':
Blackened Eyes
Death's Tears Part 3
Death's Tears Parts 4 & 5
Federain
The Pianist

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