Elfwood is the worlds largest SciFi & Fantasy community.
  - 152389 members, 2 online now.
  - 11489 site visitors the last 24 hours.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Leigh *Shwin* Erickson

"Death´s Tears Part 3" by Leigh *Shwin* Erickson

SciFi/Fantasy text 10 out of 25 by Leigh *Shwin* Erickson.      ←Previous - Next→
 
Tag As Favorite
 
Here we learn a little bit more about the Dialos, not a lot granted, but a little. Next bit on Garnor's story.
Add Bookmark
Tag As FavoriteComment
←- Death's Tears Part 2 | Death's Tears Parts 4 & 5 -→

When Garnor woke, he found himself in a vast chamber. There were only two colours visible in the room, silver and black, but they were so elegantly used in such intricate patterns that it seemed that they were more than adequate. To his right was an open window that spread in a soft curve across the wall. Silver curtains of a mist like material hung in front of it, blowing in the cool breeze. In front of him was a small desk and a set of shelves full of black leather-bound books gilded with silver. To his left was a large door that looked very heavy. It was closed so he could not see where it led to, but there was nothing barring the way out. He was lying in a large, canopied bed. To the immediate left was a small table with a little oil lamp as well as the belt he had been wearing when he came to this place. Startled he noticed he was no longer wearing his white clothes, but was dressed in a simple garment of black. He assumed all his clothes had been disposed of except his belt. Apparently whoever had taken care of him thought it to be of enough value to salvage. It was, after all, woven of pure silver and marked with the embossed crest of his people.



His people.



At the thought of his... life, his eyes widened. Did they know he was dead? What had happened to the group who had committed his murder? What of... what of his father? He tried to picture what his father would do when he heard the news, but found he couldn’t. He couldn’t recall the name of his father, of his home, of his people... he couldn’t remember their faces or dwellings. He couldn’t remember his own body. He was very alarmed discovering this and sought something to distract him, to keep him from panic. Looking around the room, his eyes focused on the canopy above him.



It was made of folds of black fabric with knots of silver feigning stars, but he saw that the canopy seemed only partially real, as if he could put his hand through it. Curious, he looked down at himself and found he was covered with a blanket of a similar fabric. He eased himself into a sitting position, grateful for the soft pillow behind him, and examined the blanket more closely. It was warm, but very thin and light. True to his assumption, his hand was immersed in its substance, but did not go all the way through. He had never seen anything like it.



“It’s woven of shadow.”



The voice made Garnor jump even though he recognized it to be Alranos’. Sure enough, he saw the man walking into the room. “Shadow?”



Alranos looked amused as he closed the door behind him. “Yes, shadow. You’re no longer in that world, Garnor, you’ll find there are some things that are different here. Many things that were impossible there are not only possible, but every day things here.”



“Like cloth woven of shadow.” Garnor said, fascinated.



“Yes, like cloth woven from shadow.” Alranos walked over to the bed and sat on its edge. He seemed less majestic in this light, and somewhat different. For one thing, the mounds of light absorbing dark that had been behind him were gone. He also had removed his veil and cloak, but still wore a black robe. Garnor could see his face now, well sculpted and pale like his hands. His eyes, however, remained in shadow. On purpose? Garnor couldn’t tell. “So, how are you feeling?” Alranos was saying. “You’ve been unconscious for four days.”



“Four days?” Garnor exclaimed, surprised.



Alranos nodded, “It takes some time to adjust to being dead, Garnor, especially in your case having lost so much blood.”



Garnor shook his head. “That’s longer than I expected. I feel a little weak, but otherwise fine. Thirsty.”



Alranos smiled. “Of course you are, hungry as well I’d guess.”



Garnor nodded.



“Do you think you can walk?”



Garnor moved his legs under the blanket, testing them, and nodded.



“Good.” Alranos stood and walked to a wardrobe standing in the far right corner. He selected a long, loose robe similar to his own, and a pair of sandals. He began to reach for a belt, but stopped and gestured towards the belt on the table. “Do you want to wear that?”



Garnor looked carefully at his old belt and leaning over, took it in his hands. Stroking the smooth silver plait with his thumb he nodded. “Yes, yes I would.”



Alranos laid the garment on the bed. “Very well. I will be waiting outside.” he looked once more at Garnor and walked out of the room.



Garnor sighed heavily and after letting his hand sink once more into the shadow blanket pulled it aside and let his feet fall to the floor. He shivered. It was cold without the blanket and the floor was as ice. Hurriedly he shed the garments he was in and put on the robe Alranos had selected. It was light, yes, but like the blanket, very warm. As he buckled the silver belt around his waist he marveled at the intricate silver embroidery bordering the hem and his sleeves. The fabric was of the purest black he had seen, much deeper in hue than the finest black cloth he had seen. He slipped into the sandals and was immediately cushioned from the floor’s chill. He was still marveling at the dark of the fabric and at its embroidery as he opened the door.



“What is this fabric?” he asked Alranos who, true to his word, was waiting in the hall outside his door.



“Shadow, but dyed with the same essence night itself. It is nearly the finest material here.”



Garnor was amazed. What could be finer than this? It was so soft and light, yet so warm; but warm as it was he didn’t doubt that were the weather hotter, it would seem cool.



Alranos smiled again seeing Garnor so enthralled by something so ordinary and started down the long hall. “You’ll be seeing many new things here, Garnor, but there is time for a proper tour later. For now, I’m taking you to the kitchens where we can get you something sustaining.”



Garnor followed Alranos in silence, looking all around him with awe. He knew in his life he lived in a well to do house, but those scattered memories paled in comparison to this finery. Everywhere he looked was worked silver in patterns so intricate he felt he could look at them for eternity and still miss details from them. Tapestries with equally embroidered patterns lined the walls, spaced by pedestals holding figures sculpted of jet, obsidian, and silver. He could barely take it all in when they rounded a corner and came to a small courtyard.



He couldn’t move it was so beautiful.



The ceiling opened to an ebony sky with scatterings of silver stars in patterns he had never seen, but they were so elegantly spaced they caught his breath. He felt he could look at them for eternity, but curiosity nagged at him. He wanted to see the rest of the courtyard. When he could tear his eyes from the night sky, he noticed the gardens surrounding him. Flowers of such beauty that the most perfect rose seemed mangled, filled the air with a delicate scent. They were of all colours, but mostly blue and silver, and sprang up in well thought out patterns that guided his eyes to the center of the yard where the masterpiece of the garden was.



It was a fountain of shimmering water planned so perfectly that it made no sound. The water seemed to glide from the base of the fountain into a smooth arc and then meld back into the moonlit pool below. The water itself seemed to be made of molten silver light, its glass-like surface reflecting the moon perfectly and completely. The base was completely hidden by unblemished white lilies which whispered in the soft breeze created by the falling water. Lilies, he remembered lilies... in the field. It was so beautiful. He could do nothing but stand in awe.



“Do you like it?”



For a moment Garnor couldn’t answer Alranos’ query. Even after a few voiceless attempts he could only nod.



Alranos looked wistfully over the flowers and walked silently to the ring of lilies. He reached out with a pale hand and let it cradle one flawless blossom. “Good. It was made for you, you know.”



Garnor looked at him, slightly confused by this. “For me?” He whispered



Alranos continued to look at the flower. “Yes. When I chose you as my heir, I knew you would be an outcast in your life. I watched you for a long time, trying to discern what you cared for most. Trying to see what would lend you happiness here. You love the natural world- stars especially. And the field of flowers where you spent much of your childhood. Free.” his voice quivered, ever so slightly on the last word as if it contained something very dear to him, yet very painful at the same time.



“You made this for me?” Garnor was too shocked to question the tone in Alranos’s words.



“Yes, I did.”



There was silence then, neither speaking. Garnor lost in awe both in seeing this place and in the knowledge that it was his; Alranos relieved Garnor approved and remembering a time... long, long ago... and well lost to memory’s keeping. A time when he was free...



Briskly Alranos turned from the lilies. “We should move on. You can come here as often as you like, Garnor. It is yours. This wing of the palace is yours in fact. Feel free to explore and change it as you wish.” He started for the archway in the far corner. Upon noticing that Garnor was reluctant to move he called back. “You can come back soon. You just need something nourishing now.”



Slowly Garnor followed him through the archway and into a different section of the palace. It didn’t seem as fine as the first hall, but that could have been due to the fact that his memory still dwelled on the garden and its beauty. Still, it was impressive- richly decorated with silver moldings and trims set against an ebony background in the most intricate patterns. Despite the dark colours that surrounded him, Garnor found it to be surprisingly well lit and not dreary at all. Another thing impossible on earth but possible in this, the next world?



He didn’t notice the large, dark-stained wooden doors ahead until Alranos stopped in front of him to open them. “The kitchens are just down this hallway.” Alranos said gesturing him on. Lost in thought, Garnor continued.



After a light, but nourishing meal and many dips of cool water, Garnor felt a little stronger. “Thank you, Alranos.” he said cheerfully in the best mood he had been in since his childhood long ago.



Alranos nodded. “Can you find your way back to your room?” he said with a slight distance to his voice.



“I believe so. Why?” Garnor was slightly concerned at the absent mindedness in Alranos’ voice.



“I... I must be about my duties.” Alranos said removing the black chain, his anarla, from his neck and fingering it intently. “Your body still has a good deal of adjusting to do. You may not feel it, but it will be weak and need a lot of rest these first few weeks. It’s best if you do just that.” he stood and with the motion flipped the chain into its blade form. “Feel free to explore. If you get lost, just call and I, or one of the servants, will find you.” he smiled softly. “Knowing you, however, you’ll be able to find your way. I’ll return tomorrow evening. It may not seem it, but it is a few hours to dawn. You should rest now.” ...while you can he mentally added. He pulled his veil from his belt and nodding to Garnor, walked silently from the room.



Garnor sat at the table then for some time, wondering at the slight... the slight something in Alranos’ voice. He couldn’t quite identify what it was... but something had been playing in Alranos’ voice when he spoke of his work. Something... pained? He shook his head, stood from the table and found that Alranos’ words were true, he was feeling a little weak and wobbly. Carefully he filled a glass with water and returned to his room.



The bed seemed very welcoming. He was tired, more so than he had noticed. He felt like he had no energy. No life. Well, I am dead. he thought as he removed his shoes. Although he expected the ice of the floor, it still shocked him. Maybe dead... but not fully transformed. He quickly got off the floor by getting into bed and covered himself with the shadows.



He was instantly asleep, his mind immersed in a deep, oblivious black.




At dawn Alranos glided into the room and after regarding Garnor’s sleeping form for a moment, stepped back out and closed the door carefully. He stood just outside the door for several minutes, silent and lost in thought. Finally he turned towards the room once more. He leaned his forehead against the door and let his arms support him as well. He looks so peaceful just lying there. Heaven knows he deserves it, after living a life like his... his eyes grew dark Oh how I hate to ruin it... his one chance at peace and happiness... this “heaven”, this security, this gift... all to be traded for a bitter hell. Because of me. His voice was barely a whisper. “Forgive me, child. Forgive me.”

←- Death's Tears Part 2 | Death's Tears Parts 4 & 5 -→

DateNameComment 
2 Sep 2003:-) Alice Muffin Girl Smith
The sentiment behind the scene in the garden was masterfully portrayed, all the more so because you left it so understated. ^_^ And the ending... oh yes. *shakes head in disbelief* You’ve got to be the best newbie I’ve ever seen in these woods... Though I suppose you aren’t much of a newbie any more. ^_^ *sidesteps descending potatoe sack with a mirthless laugh* HAHA! My first comment dance! *jigs quickly*

Timon: *sinks to his knees* NOOOOO!!!

The Band: *watch impassively* So... I guess we won’t be needed for this comment, right? But... we’ll still get paid, right?

22 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Masterfully? Wow... *blushes* Thank you, Muffin Smith! That was too kind!!! *grin* *does a wee happy dance* Yay! So glad you like! So glad you like! Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting!!!"
6 Sep 2003:-) Nastasha Vanessa Ostrom
YAY! You have a crapload of new stuff on here (okay, perhaps that was not the most elequent statement I could make, but you know me...) I was, of course, disappointed that there was not MORE of the Dialos stuff, but then again, there can never be enough of it, I suppose. It is such a unique idea!!! I love it! The new part (which this comment is supposed to be about) is great great great! Oh, I loved it! (I want more...) The plot is developing more swiftly now... I can't wait to see what Garnor's benefactor (I can't recall name right now- Aranlos or something?) has in store for him. I HOPE YOU'RE WRITING MORE! I'll be back later to read more of your stuff, and comment on your main page. First, though, I have to make mac and cheese for dinner.

1 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Well, to not write more would be just painful... so yes, there'll be more... I have chapter 6 written... it's just 4 and 5 that I need to do *grin* or maybe I have 5 written and it's just 4 I need to do... who knows... it's going to be a character shift *nods* Well then... I'm so glad you like it and THANK YOU for saying it was unique! That's just about the best comment I can get... I hate cliche... so unique is most excellent *nods* *grin* Mac n' cheese, eh? *grin* Well... have fun... thanks for visiting!!! *GRIN*"
17 Sep 2003:-) Paul J. Doyle
The saga continues, getting better all the time! Still amused by the Dialos' shortcomings (having to eat to survive, and so forth). The imagery and dialogue is significantly improved in this installment, mostly there for a reason now.

Emphasizing "You should rest now . . . while you still can" is effective foreshadowing, juicing up the reader's interest for Part Four.

Nice work, Leigh! 2

1 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "That's because I actually wasn't forcing myself out of a block for this one! I like this chapter! And I like the 5th or 6th... but I have to write the next couple... *nods* I'm so glad you think it's getting better *nods sincerely* And thank you so much for the honest cricism. I can use it. I'm so glad you like it now!!! *does a little happy dance*"
9 Nov 200345 D Joelle Duran
I WANT that garden!!! Actually, I want that whole place. You describe it so beautifully...I'd love to touch that blanket.

Off for more...

2 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "I know! I want it too!! *grin* thank you! I try to work hard on description... glad it paid off!! *grin*"
11 Mar 200445 Meagan Weidner webmaster@mar...com<
The way you describe Garnor's joy at seeing the garden Alranos made for him is beautiful. I like the part about shadow being woven into fabric. Very unique! The end, too, makes one want to keep reading to find out what suddenly made Alranos be so aloof and what fate has in store for Garnor.

Some paragraphs seem a little detailed and long, but that is part of your style. Maybe if you added more dialogue, even unspoken thoughts, would help keep the reader's attention.

As always, it's wonderful, O Great Leigh.

I leave for the quilt retreat tomorrow, so I don't know if I'll get the 1250th or not. :-( Oh, well. There's always 1500, right? Anyway, we'll have to get together when I get back so you can see what I've been working on. Maybe then you'll have worked on that poem so more?

When are you done with the musical? I can't remember. I'll have to take you out for Chinese after that's done. 1

Anyway, keep it up, Leigh! You're good!

~Meagan1

2 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "let me know how you like the style... it was with this chapter that it began to change *nods nods*
thank you... thank you... you ARE bad for my ego, you know that??
i have 1243 *shrugs* so... it will be interesting to see!!!
hee hee...musical is over the 20th (YAY!! a-hem...) and yeah!! we will def have to get together!! hope the retreat goes well!! and thanks for all the lovely comments and such!!!"
5 Jul 200445 Melissa Béland
oooo very suspenseful, no idea whats going to happen... Good Job, youve kept it well concealed! anyway, i love the way i can be so sure that what you are feeding me is true...a couple times my mom had to ask me what was wrong when she saw me gazing, mouth slightly open, at the computer screen, this is going to be short compared to the other comments i have left for this story because i am very very tired...do you have the end of this up yet?....i would never read the end ahead of time, but im wondering if i will have to wait for more....anyway you have done a wonderfull job...of course the seaweeds always greener in somebody elses lake ~_^ (the little mermaid, first line in under the sea) ttfn

1 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "*starts singing* you dream about going up dere... but dat is a big mistake! just look at de world around you- right here on de ocean floor! such wonderful things around you- what more is you looking for oh-mmf! *Garnor slips in and covers leigh's mouth with his hand, effectively shutting her up*

Garnor: a-hem, ignore her... *beams at you* I'm glad you enjoy my story^_^ I've enjoyed reading your comments... leigh seems to like them as well as you might tell... and no- she hasn't finished my story yet, well, it isn't mine, but you know what i mean. She's hoping to finish it this year- she has about 6 chapters or so left to write and who knows from there *shrugs* so hopefully sometime soon it'll be over... but now all she talks about is Chero Chero Chero- new book or something she's latched onto... meh... forgotten all about me *sniff* *shakes head* anyway... *bows* my thanks for reading... please come back (if you dare^_~) and know leigh is very flattered^_^ beyond words right now (why else would i be replying for her? oh right... she was singing^_~) anyway thanks^_^ and have a lovely night or day *bows and drags his author off muttering under his breath something about crazed and insanely tired authors until they vanish into the night*"
16 Jul 200445 Ted
Wow great story! Everything is so neatly put together. The details are great! I love the way you made the blankets made of shadows. Very creative! I think you will be the best writer since Gary Paulsen or Eric Nylund! *smiles*

1 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "*blushes furiouslt* well... thank you!! *blushes some more* I'm so glad you liked it!! *floats off on ego*

and don't you sometimes wish you xouls curl up in a blanket made of shadow? I know I do!! Glad you liked it^_^"
31 Jul 2005:-) B Layne
"Garnor was too shocked to question the tone in [Alranos’s] words." Technically, Alranos's isn't incorrect, but up to this point you've only been using Alranos', so for consistency's sake, you should drop the last s.
thank you!! that has lon bothered me^_^

"Upon noticing that Garnor was reluctant to move [comma] he called back."

“Thank you, Alranos.[comma rather than a period]” he said cheerfully in the best mood he had been in since his childhood long ago.

"Garnor was slightly concerned at the [absent mindedness] in Alranos’ voice." ['absent-mindedness' or 'absentmindedness']

"he stood and with the motion flipped the chain into its blade form." *chuckles* Is there some reason 'he' is the only word you seem to not be capitalizing? ^_~
^_~ nah, i think it's 'cause i often start sentences with it...

"He pulled his veil from his belt and [comma] nodding to Garnor, walked silently from the room."

"Well, I am dead [comma, not period] . he thought as he removed his shoes."

"At dawn Alranos glided into the room and [comma nazi says put a comma here... schnell! (or however you spell that ^_~)]after regarding Garnor’s sleeping form for a moment, stepped back out and closed the door carefully."
{{grins}} {{salutes}}

[capitalize 'his'] -->his eyes grew dark [period] Oh how I hate to ruin it... his one chance at peace and happiness... this “heaven”...

Very beautifully done. The descriptions of the garden and of the palace... gyah! I want to live there!!thanks! i need to spend more time there... i was really rushing this... >.< thanks again or all the comma stuffs and caps and all that fun stuff... i do appreciate it!
31 Jul 2005:-) B Layne
Ah, I've been waiting all morning to get home and read this. ^_^ *dives in*
{{blushes}}

"Silver curtains of a [mist like] material hung in front of it, blowing in the cool breeze." [mist-like]
I love the descriptions of the chamber.

Oo, that must be terribly disorienting, to find yourself unable to remember the past. Poor Garnor! ((I have the feeling I'll be saying 'poor garnor' a lot ^_^))
thanks^_^ ((whatever gives you that impression? this story needs serious mopping up in my opinion... i cringe to read it >.

"...Many things that were impossible there are not only possible, but [every day] things here.” [in this context, it should be one word-- 'everyday']

Stroking the smooth silver plait with his thumb [comma] he nodded. “Yes, yes I would.”

"he looked once more at Garnor and walked out of the room." -- capitalize 'he'

"As he buckled the silver belt around his waist [comma] he marveled at the intricate silver embroidery bordering the hem and his sleeves."

Mmm, I love the garden! I want one just like it! ^_~

Ah, nifty!! The fountain! I saw something on the discovery channel once where a guy came up with a fountain that shot water -perfectly-- as in no droplets sprayed to the side, it was a perfect arc of water. Your description of that fountain reminded me of that. So cool! The fountain I saw on tv was so perfect that they actually held a hair taut in the stream, and the water went off cleanly in 2 separate directions from where the hair split it. Okay, I'll stop rambling about the fountain now. ^_^
thanks for the comma crits^_~ and really? oh cool! i've always wanted such a fountain... i love his garden... i should do more with it...

"his [capitalize 'his'] voice quivered, [no comma here] ever so slightly on the last word [yes comma here] as if it contained something very dear to him, yet very painful at the same time."{{scribbles}}
Not signed in, Add an anonymous comment to this guestbook...    

Your Name:
Your Mail:
   Private message? (Info)



'Death's Tears Part 3':
 • Created by: :-) Leigh *Shwin* Erickson
 • Copyright: ©Leigh *Shwin* Erickson. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Alone, Beauty, Confusion, Death, Sorrow, Surprise, Transformation
 • Categories: Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters
 • Views: 462

Bookmark and Share



More by 'Leigh *Shwin* Erickson':
Federain
Death's Tears Parts 4 & 5
A Brook of Frozen Glass
Death's Embrace
Death's Tears Part 6

Related Tutorials:
  • 'Character Creation Form' by :-)Crissy Moss
  • 'The Seed of Government - Part 1' by :-)Crissy Moss
  • 'Originality in Fantasy - Taking The Road Less Travelled' by :-)A.R. George
  • 'Creating an Original Character'
  • Art Education Finder...
  •  
     

    Elfwood™ is a site for Fantasy and Science Fiction art and stories. The site was founded by Thomas Abrahamsson and is maintained by helpful assistants and moderators, owned by the Elfwood AB corporation.

    [More...]