"For Her I Danced" by Leigh *Shwin* Erickson

*

It broke my heart he came this way

My silent Morn: dear grieving soul!

It pains me still Skill went astray

Perfection is too much to bear.

My aching man, with hate they stole

Your life and love. In anguish still

I've seen you cry. In dance you... fall.

It hurts to watch. You know I'm there-

I know you do. Yet not one time

Have you lashed out. You have such skill

In hiding pain. It was my crime-

You're not to blame. My choice was small.

*

I'm restless here; it seems so small-

I'm bound! I cannot find my way

And day by aching day that crime

Replays before my eyes. I stole

Your chance at joy. Sweet love it's still

Consuming me. My guilty soul,

Forever stained, will wretch and fall

To what? To silence- Something time

Can never touch. My envied skill?

I hate it now. My mind astray

I did not see- I cannot bear

This guilt! This guilt... I am not there.

*

My keeper, Morn, I see you there.

You stare at me and at the small

Lines on your arms. Pray, does it still

Eclipse your dreams? That distant crime...

Will you not hear? 'Twas me who stole

Her chance at joy. A bloody way

There was no choice... Morn free your skill!

Come see you're here to stop our fall

You- Autumn's Own, now outside time

Will take all wounds that I would bear

It seems so harsh. A tortured soul

To take more pain... a life astray.

*

He tells me nothing went astray.

He tells me that though I'm not there

And though she mourns their awful crime

My Charlotte will live on with skill

And will find joy- that it's my soul

That mourns- she's fine. He, Natham, Fall-

That season where the earth falls still-

Says Death he knows- too well. Its stole

Of perfect shade that drapes through time

Embraces life. He knows Death's way,

For sons he's lost; his grief not small

He says our pain we both will bear.

*

Oh Morn, you dancer, can you bear

The sound that leads your heart astray?

This music... is it such a crime

To free yourself into your skill?

When Death, in silence, laid his stole

Across your shoulders, did you fall

So hard that dancing even still

Feels like a thorn pierced in your soul?

I know that was your chosen way

To show her that you would be there.

For her you danced roles great, roles small...

But listen, hear the song of Time!

*

I hear his song- it weaves through time

With sweetness I can hardly bear

His violin... I can't keep still

No longer can I hold it there

Within my heart. This is the way

To free myself, to soothe my soul:

To dance with reverence to the Fall

And lose myself in silent skill.

To realise nothing great nor small

Can take away that awful crime

Will capture life that fell astray

Will free the dance my sorrow stole.

*

Receive the skill that sorrow stole

Morn, listen! Dance! Be free from time!

I pray my song will force astray

The fetters placed on you in crime.

But know my help is something small

It's you who must regain your skill.

No need for fear- I know your soul.

You'll dance! You'll live! Your joy lives still!

...and yet I nearly lose my way...

Your grieving is so hard to bear.

Morn- know your anguish can stay there.

I'll play- you'll dance? We will not fall.

*

I hear the music played by Fall;

I feel the presence of the stole

Of Death but now it seems so small.

This music dancing in my soul

Is something birthed from outside time.

I rise and yes, the grief is there

I rise, I am no longer still.

These tears won't drown but baptise skill

Rebirth of all that went astray...

I feel it still, but I can bear

It now. This silence is my way:

A headstone for that painful crime.

*

I watch you dance freed from their crime.

Now keeper of my ego: Fall

You'll catch me when I wheel astray

In being Autumn I lose time.

Kriel, the Winter, feels I'm there

For warmth will scald her very soul

And Ilieth, her Keeper still

Will fight me down, his skill not small

For snow does dance as leaves- with skill

And mastery of Death's own stole-

So many wounds I know you'll bear

With pain but there's no other way.

*

I dance now that I've found my way.

I dance freed from that awful crime

I dance because though I'm not there

Life moves on. To Death I stole

That night of shock- before my time.

But life goes on! My death was small.

I'll dance for one who falls astray

I'll guard him with my sharpened skill

My title- Keeper of the Fall

Has bound me deep within my soul

To Natham. Yes, his wounds I'll bear

I'll dance- no reason to be still.

*

Although you dance, I know it still

Pains you that you came this way.

Sweet Morn, that you will bear my crime-

My debt to you expands each time

You raise your blade. I fall astray

And feel the wounds your flesh will bear

But only scars find me. Too small

I find my fine- for I am there

And yet you pay for times I've stole...

But I will try to ease this fall

To cheer you Morn with all my skill

With gratitude from Autumn's soul

*

Bound in this way through time with skill

I will be there when you're astray

To keep blades still for when you stole

To Winter's time or else... Your crime,

Though I may fall, within my soul

It all I'll bear- my love not small.