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Leigh *Shwin* Erickson

"Lonesome Traveler" by Leigh *Shwin* Erickson

SciFi/Fantasy text 1 out of 25 by Leigh *Shwin* Erickson.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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This is a random poem with a different rhyme scheme... has nothing to do with anything else I've written
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←- Bonded | A Stolen Song -→

Scarlet blood dripping from nicked, war battered blades

Whispering its bearer’s hushed secrets to the earth

Falling as the only tears mourning the slain

The one tribute to those whom the dark persuades

To those who have none who would mourn their passing



Silence flowing like an impassive river

through the now hushed valley, through the quiet field

The sound of whispering blood tears the ripple

in its perfect nothing, their voices shiver

in the seamless mirror of silence amassing



But soon a pebble cast into the glass lake

shatters its fragile surface with cruel harsh waves

the bitter sound of a lone warrior’s sob

sends forth ripples with bleak silence in their wake

his clear voice aching with the essence of grief



Kneeling on a mound of earth he mourns forlorn

Not merely for those killed but for what was lost

Leaning heavily on his still shining sword

Unused, unstained with blood, yet still very worn

his bright sharpened blade still well known by its sheath



A youth, called warrior bearing the scars

of many battles he did not chose to fight

A watcher who follows, who buries those slain

Whose memories trail beyond the silent stars

Whose lessons, forgotten, guide his voiceless way



He has seen many battles, more than is just

Comforted those dying time and time again

His bitter tears a tribute of countless worth

Their bloody rain slaying his soul with their rust

Each tear falling holds a price too high to pay



These tears hold his life, these tears are as his blood

They hold in their spheres his now fast waning soul

Each tear, each tribute reducing his short life

Knowing this he refuses to stay their flood

So fixed in compassion for the dead he’d die



So on he wanders tracing death’s endless trail

Aware of its broad hand on his thin shoulders

Knowing soon he will join all those war has slain

A lone warrior, though long fated to fail

He endures, and fades into the crimson sky

←- Bonded | A Stolen Song -→

DateNameComment 
10 Apr 200445 Brittni...Lvethlansatha...hehe
Again, i must comment on the wonderful works of my friend. This is gonna be a short comment, because i have to go in a little bit. I likeses a lots. Yet again, i must continue reading everything.

i am also curious...has the other poem that you were working on in school recieved medical aid?

1 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Brittni!!!!! *GRIN* yay!!
i'm very much glad you like this... and happy happy you're reading my stuff... yay!!
*grin* and aye, that poem has received medical aid... it's condition is no longer critical12"
15 Jul 2004:-) Chelsea Castonguay
I really liked this, your imagery is just amazing! I loved how a picture was painted in my mind as I read it...great work!

1 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Thank you!!! *dances around doing a much flattered happy dance* *beams*"
22 Jul 2004:-) Karin Schadinger
Wonderful poem! It totally enjoyed reading it.

So on he wanders tracing death’s endless trail
Aware of its broad hand on his thin shoulders

Great lines, so deep!

Keep the great work, I'll come back (in case my bad memory reminds of it, if not, please tell me!) to read more soon!! ^^

12 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "well... i'll have to go visit you sometime it would seem... so if you're not back i'll remind you then... though that will be a long time sadly given my current circumstances... but yeah... anyway... thanks so much for reading this and for leaving such a lovely comment^_^ i appreciate it muchly!!!"
23 Aug 200445 Melissa
Wow, *gasp* *holds chest and falls to the floor* I-I.....I really think this is ummm, good isn't enough12. Inspiration, and words to move us all, now I have to write many many poems.
Gabs is gone8 left, left us all!!! *waaaahhhh* 10 I really do miss her though, left yesterday, first class today at 10:00, only has two classes today, but we miss her so much!! *sniffles on the verge of tears again*;*runs off in despair* good poem though!12

12 Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "  *family just got a new monitor* *monitor is very bright* *is shielding eyes from bright monitor* *sniff* the smilies aren't so cute now!! ah well... at least i can see what i'm typing^_~
HOLY HTML BATMAN!! *fixes* you still need some pointers *winks* thanks for reading my readingful friend!! and i know... been thinking about you guys and gabs a lot today... you must let me know how all is going *nods nods* keep me updated and whatnot *HUGS* you're all in my prayers!! hoep everyone manages all right!! "
9 Jan 2005:-) B. Layne Weaver
Och, very sad. 8 You really get across the feeling of hopelessness and despair with this piece. I don't really have anything clever to say about technique or anything like that, just that I really enjoyed this sad little tale.

:-) Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "woah, hey! strange you should come visit... was just considering wandering over to your page myself^_^ *smiles* welcome^_^
*grins* thanks for reading this... was an odd exercise, not entirely certain what i was doing... rambling in poem form really^_~ so glad to hear you like it^_^
thanks for taking the time to read and comment... i appreciate it a lot... and hope to get over to your page soon... though i'm not known for being wonderful at reading^_~"
7 Feb 2005:-) E Purington
Interesting...
AXXAB
CXXCB
Is that the rhyme scheme? The X is for no rhyme. Very interesting, very unique. I've not ventured out to actually create a rhyme scheme, so that was fun to see.
Poor guy, walking the lonely road...Boulevard of Broken Dreams kept playing in my mind.
Erk, unfortunately I can't remember a lot of it (short term memory sucks) so I shall go through and read it again.
*returns*
Oh geez...The first time I was trying to catch the rhythm, but the second time I got the full impact of the story. So he follows in the wake of the battlefield, burrying the bodies... Very interesting. Makes you wonder more about him and his life. He's a warrior, by why has he never used his sword? He only comes after in the aftermath of the battle? Is he a coward? Traitor trying to redeem himself? Deserter trying still to help?
Your poetry amazes me; it's so...It's just so beautiful and emotional!
Lovely lovely brilliant.

*wanders out humming*
I walk a lonely road, the only road that I have ever known...eeep... seems the warp ate both replies to your comments... sorry!! i appreciate both muchly, your comments, that is... sorry they got eaten...
22 Oct 200545 Talespinner Cloudy
eh cheerful... ^_~ mine at least trick you into thinkin they'll be cheerful at first lolol *dragons fly tonight, pigs fly tomorrow, ghosts wake at first light and scream their sorrow...* lol jk tho your poem is really good =D If only I had html lol then I could actually USE my account =psorry to be replying so late to this... got home from thailand and am getting settled again... thanks so much for reading! good luck with your site!
7 Nov 2006:-) Panu Karjalainen
Very ponderous and heavy rhythm and complex structures made for laborious reading... I really had to concentrate with this one. The radio playing and my brother trying to chat with me didn't help either, and I fear I'm not used to heavy language in poems. Fallen, despairing warriors seem to be somewhat of a theme in Elfwood poetry, though, leastwise at times it feels that way... some of the imagery was nice, though. I really liked some of the visions you conjured.
Hey Panu, I'm sorry I vanished- thank you for reading this! I was experimenting at the time, so that could be some of it... it's not horribly orignal I'll agree^_~ Thanks, though, I'm glad some of the imagery was in tact^_~

Mmm. Maybe my penchant for open forms isn't helping either... I mean sometimes I even have trouble following iambic pentameter...Heh, I think I have a hand on it and then it elludes me in the most embarrassing ways... I like to try to make up forms, because existing ones don't always suit my purpose. But aye, thank you so much for reading and commenting on this, I really appreciate it, I do! And I do apologise again for disappearing...
30 Oct 200745 Lyn Shanra Joan Kuepers
in its perfect nothing, their voices shiver
in the seamless mirror of silence amassing <- Those are just gorgeous lines. (See? I can start comments with positive things. ^-^)

he did not cho[o]se to fight <- can’t have tense on ’choose’ since your dummy-do’s already carrying it.

Knowing soon he will join all those war has slain <- ’fraid this line doesn’t work for me. It’s too... chunky, in comparison to the rest. Can’t be more specific than that. It’s in the sound of the sentence, for what little help that is.

Beyond that, it’s very beautiful. You’ve a knack for writing poetry in which the rhyme scheme falls into place somewhere halfway through the poem or further on. I really like that. It doesn’t detract from the reading and adds something extra. ’tis just a nice sensation.

It’s a very sad, haunting piece. The pointlessness of it all and the grief it causes. It’s a beautiful, tragic piece. *shakes head wonderingly* Sad, sad piece.

:-) Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Hello! Sorry for taking an eternity to reply to your comments! Was in Japan, see... made it difficult...
I thank you for your comment... will most definitely take a peek at those crits should if this should be edited... very much appreciate it^_^ Glad you seemed to like it^_^"
7 Apr 2008:-) Katarina Ora Baralic
Oh my! It so good! I wish I could write poems so well!

:-) Leigh *Shwin* Erickson replies: "Well {{faint blush}} thank you! I’m so glad you liked it!"
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'Lonesome Traveler':
 • Created by: :-) Leigh *Shwin* Erickson
 • Copyright: ©Leigh *Shwin* Erickson. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Battle, Mourner, Slain, Tear, Tears, War
 • Categories: Fights, Duels, Battles, Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters
 • Views: 497

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More by 'Leigh *Shwin* Erickson':
A Brook of Frozen Glass
Death's Tears Parts 14-17
For Her I Danced
Death's Embrace
Blackened Eyes
Death's Tears Parts 7-10

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