"I knew more back then" by Emily Faerber

I knew more back then. Back when I was too young to understand anything. But I suppose it was my naivety that made my mission possible, that made our goal reachable. The reason why I was able to let him go ahead.

In stories, they never tell you about the hero's life afterwards. They never tell you about the scars that don't fade, the pain that won't subside. It happened three years ago, and the sun keeps rising and setting despite my wishes. Sometimes I wish it would stop, that it would reflect how I feel.

Back then, we were fighting to be heros. We heard of the Sorcerer's intentions, we felt them as our city was invaded, chosen to be a sacrifice for him to gain more power. My husband and I escaped, and traveled to the Sorcerer's fortress, to fight him and save our friends.

I lost the baby.

I was only two months along. Outside the last gate, my husband told me to sit down and rest. He told me that after ten minutes, I could come in and join him in fighting the Sorcerer. It would be a surprise attack. But seconds after the door closed behind him, the Assassin showed up. He was the Sorcerer's main servant, his strongest attack dog. I had to fight him. I managed to block a few of his blows, then I felt it. I felt his sword pierce my abdomen, I felt the blood and pain, I felt my baby die. He felt it too. The Assassin's eyes opened wide, as he could feel his victim's spirit fly past him, and realization dawned on him. He looked at me for a moment, a strange expression on his face, then pulled his sword out of me and took off running.

I collapsed on the ground. I don't know how long it was before the explosion. The door was ripped open with a blast of light and heat, then sat quietly burning. My husband staggered out a moment later, rushing over when he saw me, falling to his knees by my side. I found my strength with him there by me, and was able to stand, helping him up as well. Leaning heavily on each other, we headed back to where the others were waiting for us.

My husband died two days later.

I knew more back then, back before I knew this pain. Now this is all I know.