Elfwood is the worlds largest SciFi & Fantasy community.
  - 93486 members, 16 online now.
  - 18040 site visitors the last 24 hours.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Bethan Jones

"The Rose Sign" by Bethan Jones

SF&F Picture 7 out of 8 by Bethan Jones
 
Tag As Favorite
 
400 word ghost story i wrote for a short story competition in the local newspaper. It won the junior section of the competition and was published in the newspaper. Please leave any comments
Add Bookmark
Tag As FavoriteComment

There was a sign on the door. 

 

The house was empty.  It had been empty for a long time.  Lois had never seen such a lonely house.   You’d know if you’d have seen it.  Lois had seen it.  The windows were boarded up and the door was locked.  Lois had checked.  Just in case.  There was a board missing from one of the windows.  One of the back ones.  Lois had looked through it.  There was nothing there. 

 

It was a very, very old sign.

 

Every day for the last six months Lois had walked past the house.  It had never looked scary, just lonely.  A lonely house.  Once Lois had shone a torch through the window.  She wanted to make the house feel lived in but the light only showed up the bare rooms and grimy walls. 

 

The sign was grimy too and faded.

 

Lois had always lived in Stevenage but her mum had come from Scotland.  Her mum had told her stories of haunted mansions and wicked curses.  But Lois didn’t think the house was cursed.  It wasn’t haunted either.  Just lonely, she said.  A sad lonely house with no one to look after it and nowhere to go. 

 

No one had looked after the sign either, the words had faded away.

 

Alice said that was a silly thing to say.  She said houses couldn’t be sad, and they couldn’t be lonely.   Lois tried to tell Alice that she was wrong; she tried to show Alice the house.  But Alice wasn’t interested.   So Lois went alone.  All on her own.  Like the house.  Rose house.  That’s what the sign said.  Rose house.

 

That’s what Lois thought the sign said.

 

Lois never came home that evening.  Her parent’s looked everywhere but no one had seen her.  They looked for the house too but they couldn’t find it.  There were no derelict houses in Chells the police told them.  Lois knew where it was, but she wasn’t telling, she wasn’t telling anyone anymore. 

 

Rose knew what the sign said.  So did Lois now.

 

This was Rose’s house.  She was born here in 1666 and she died here in 1676 and she will rest here for all of eternity. 

 

There’s another sign now, just beneath it.  A different sign.    

 

Here lies Lois Rose Taylor.  Born 1996.  Died 2006. 

 

Rose and Lois wrote that sign. 

 

So Rose wouldn’t be lonely anymore.

 

←- The Guardian | Vampyre...Forever -→

DateNameComment 
24 Jul 2006:-) Victoria Bellamy
It was just small things although the one thing that I didn't get was when you introduce Alice out of nowhere. You talk about the house and then Alice, they don't quite link up. I haven't read your other stories but I would suggest trying to write longer sentences with commas in amongst the shorter ones. I think it would read better that way! Well done and when I get time I will hopefully read the other stories in your library! Until then, (sweeps into a deep and elaborate bow) Au Revoir! 2

:-) Bethan Jones replies: "um yeah ur probably rite about the longer sentances"
24 Jul 2006:-) Victoria Bellamy
Really freaky ghost story that was very well executed. (he he) However there were some parts where I didn't understand what you were saying but in the end it didn't spoil the whole effect! 2

2 Bethan Jones replies: "Thanks, it won the short story competition i entered it into. Tell me which bits you didn't understand and i'll try and explain and/or change them. "
26 Jul 2006:-) Musty Zein
Wow, pretty cool story. Quite chilling too

1 Bethan Jones replies: "Thanx "
27 Dec 200645 Shadeslayer
Kinda creepy. Awesome but creepy.

:-) Bethan Jones replies: "yeah creepy, normaly im not so good at short stories but im reaaly pleased with how this one turned out. And thanxs so much for all your great comments 2"
23 Jan 2007:-) Dragonsluver
Creepy. creepy. Me likes it! I like the short sentences; that really brought the voice alive. You know what this story reminds of? Rose Red. You know, the book written by Stephen King about an evil house that kills everyone? I've watched the movie and it's awesome. But ya, this story is cool. You do a lot of short stories don't you? Well, before I go, I must say that HIM is an awesome band. Have you heard AFI? AH! AFI is awesome! They were on Saturday Night Live on Jan. 20, 2007. I almost died, because they were amazing. Sorry if you think this comment is getting annoying. I'm in a very random and talkitive mood at the moment and your comment box is suffering because of it...

:-) Bethan Jones replies: "i like random talkative comments 2 I've never read/seen Rose Red but maybe i should. I dont actualy do many short stories, its all just fragments of longer stories that i never get round to completing. And im so jealous that u saw HIM live but im sure i'll get toa t some point 2"
Not signed in, Add an anonymous comment to this guestbook...    

Your Name:
Your Mail:
   Private message? (Info)



About 'The Rose Sign':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Bethan Jones
 • Copyright: ©Bethan Jones. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Rose, Sign, Ghost, House, Abandoned, Child, Girl
 • Categories: Ghosts, Ghouls, Aparitions
 • Views: 286


More by 'Bethan Jones':
The Chosen (part one)
Snow Story (part two)
Invited In
The Chosen (part two)
Snow Story (part one)
The Guardian
Vampyre...Forever

Related Tutorials:
  • 'Writing in English as a Foreign Language' by :-)Inger Marie Hognestad
  • 'Narration on Narration' by :-)Amanda B. Melheim
  • 'The Deception of Description'
  • '10 Steps to Creating Realistic Fantasy Animals'
  • Art Education Finder...
  •  
     

    Elfwood™ is a site for Fantasy and Science Fiction art and stories created by Thomas Abrahamsson and helpful assistants and moderators, owned by the Elfwood corporation.

    [More...]