Heh. Isn't that the cheesiest title you've ever seen? ^_^ I wrote this story about one or two years ago, so it isn't exactly one of the best stories I've ever written. But, I liked the idea, and I liked the story, and I love ghost stories. So, here you go. I hope it creeps you out. ^_^
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It was a brisk autumn day. The sun was shining, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Jack was walking home from school, taking his normal route, and he came across a house. This house was a big mansion, dark and bleak looking, and evil. As soon as he came into it's sight, he crossed the street and ran, so as to not be in the house's evil presence. This is what he had done every single day.
It was Halloween, and Jack was very excited. He was going out trick or treating with his buddies and they were all dressing up like warlocks.
That night, he hurried and got on his costume. His buddies came to the door. Jacks mom bade them farewell, and they ran off down the street.
A couple hours and 2 more pillowcases later, they came to the street that Jack walked home on. His buddies saw the house and were intrigued. Jack was busy munching candy and didn't see where they were going. When everyone stopped, Jack looked up and saw that they were right in front of the spooky house. Jack dropped his bag, and tried to run away, but his buddies grabbed him and pulled him back.
"Come on, we're just gonna look at it," they said. Jack knew better. He didn't get any closer to the house.
His friends had been standing there for a while, when they were hit by a cold blast of bone chilling wind. Jack's feet suddenly started moving on their own, walking towards the house.
"Hey, help!," he yelled, but his buddies were under the same spell. Before they knew it, they were inside the house, and they could move on their own again. Jack yelled and yanked at the door, but it wouldn't budge. They were trapped inside. They started yelling.
"Hey, get us out of here! Help!," they screamed, but it was to no avail. They were trapped. Jack was the first one to get ahold of his senses.
"Wait! We've got our flashlight and heavy bags to wack someone with. We'll be fine." Jack hoped he sounded a lot braver than he felt.
Suddenly, they felt the cold blast of wind again, and their bodies weren't their own anymore. They marched like an army up the stairs onto the balcony, ane were released from the spell.
Jack was the first one to see it.
"Blood!," he yelled, and jumped back. The boys looked. Sure enough, there was blood dripping from the banister onto the ragged, moth eaten carpet.
"Whose blood do you think it is?," asked one of the boys. No one knew. As far as they knew, no one had ever lived in the house to be killed in it. They sat down and tried to puzzle it out.
They were so deep in thought, they didn't notice the figure coming to stand in front of them. When they saw it, they backed up as far against the wall as they could. It was a girl, about 16 years old, with pale hair and an even paler face. The thing really scary about her, though, was...
"She's see-through!," Jack breathed. And indeed she was. beyond her, the boys could see the balcony and the door below that.
"Who are you?," Jack asked. The girl didn't answer, but frowned and gestured to the blood on the banister. It was her blood that stained the banister. Then the ghastly apparition disappeared and the boys were hit by the wind again.
This time they walked through the hall into a bedroom. It looked like a little girl's bedroom. There was a bed in the corner with lace pillows and a teddy bear on it. The carpet was pink. There were a couple dressers and drawers. Pictures of unicorns danced on the wallpaper. The boys were let go and could move again. They stared.
In the middle of the room, a man dangled from a rope wrapped around his neck. The ghostly girl appeared beside the suicide. Then she spoke. Her voice was a whisper, raspy and quiet.
"He was my father. My murderer." Jack's heart ached for her, but he demanded,
"Why did you bring us here? What do you want?" The girl's look saddened. She spoke again.
"Do you know what it's like? Wandering around your own deserted house, with no one to know the truth? That's what I brought you here for. An evil radiated around the house, that most people could feel. You felt it, Jack." Jack bristled. The girl kept talking.
"Only on Halloween night could the aura be broken and the truth be found. My soul can finally go to rest." With that, the girl disappeared.
The boys wandered out of the room and to the front door. No one was really able to talk about anything. They all knew that they had been changed. But for better or for worse, no one knew.
| Date | Name | Comment | | | 7 Aug 2001 | David W. McEntee | Loading...Actually, it was the title that intriged me. Short, but sweet, in a creepy way. | |
| 7 Aug 2001 | BlackBurn <spidrena@hot...com | Loading...Oooh, lol. I like it alot! But, call me dumb thats probably what I am. I don't know what the truth was. @.@ | |
| 8 Aug 2001 | Evil Santa | Loading...Not really creepy, but rather sweet. The titles the best part(not saying the story is bad). | |
| 2 Sep 2001 | Matt Morris | Loading...Eerie... You have a good idea here, though you're going to have to personalize it a lot more, cause it's been done. I'd suggest more detailed description of scenery, describe the dark spires of the house and their architecture, the heavy wooden door rotted at the edges and interlaced with a web of cold iron, the pasty walls that were at one point white and the chill blast that seemed to sever their spines and force their stiff legs to unbidden movement... stuff like that. On a less critical note, what you have here is a horror story ready to ooze itself into another level of creepiness. Good job.  | |
| 4 Jan 2002 | Eric J. Hopkins | Loading...I thought it was good... The simple description gives it kind of an innocent, little-boy feeling... But hmph. ^_^ | |
| 20 Nov 2007 | Anonymous | Loading...It was ok you shhould have added more description when they saw the house and when they got init to make it more spookier. | |
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