"Bitter Bang (poem)" by Glo ´the Bug´ Bowden

I’m terrible at understanding or writing poetry. So, in other words, I don’t have a clue! It’s got a cool rhythm, though.

Glo 'the Bug' Bowden replies: "And the rhythm is supposed to be the key emphasis. I had this onomatopoeia going through my head, so I decided to mix it with meaning.

But don’t feel bad, its supposed to be ambiguous, perhaps even esoteric."

"Forget onomatopoeia! The important question is, who’s gonna feed me? Said the dragon. I like the rythmn of it too, I get the impression of the dragon sort of becoming impatient about where his next meal is coming from.

Glo 'the Bug' Bowden replies: "oh, he is."

Heeee I likes! Though I am a bit worried about what the dragon will eat if it isn’t fed soon...

Glo 'the Bug' Bowden replies: "What indeed..."

Oooo! I like! Very catchy rythmn and a menacingly humorous subject. I love the imagery of a hungry dragon slamming its tail on the floor. *throws dragon a biscut*

One, teeny, tiny crit... Boom and room are spot on rhymes, but Bad and fed are not as close in sound. Perhaps you might consider a closer sounding word for fed in the second verse?

Glo 'the Bug' Bowden replies: "*dragon crunches biscuit then spits it out and slams his tail, demanding something a bit more...meaty* Meh...I’d get ride of this guy if I could. He’s so demanding... *smacks dragon on the snout* Bad dragon.

I know. I was experimenting with slant rhyme, but I guess the fact that it breaks pattern makes it seem, ah, unprofessional. Both the words Bad and Fed felt important though. And the fact that they’re slantly rhymed gives them both emphasis."

quote: "I was experimenting with slant rhyme, but I guess the fact that it breaks pattern makes it seem, ah, unprofessional. Both the words Bad and Fed felt important though. And the fact that they’re slantly rhymed gives them both emphasis."

Ah, see this is where my lack of knowledge on the mechanics of poetry does me a disservice. The extent of my poetic experience is limited to racey limericks and cat haikus. In fact, one of the main reasons I don’t write poetry is that I find it so difficult to find words that rhyme perfectly! *lol* I had no idea about slant rhymes...and a lot of other techniques, I’m sure. My crit only goes to show that there is a whole world of writing out there that I have not been exposed to and I should endeavor to correct that.

In no way is the poem unprofessional. It’s marvelously clever!

*hands dragon a rare prime rib dinner, including an apology for the biscut*

Glo 'the Bug' Bowden replies: "Aw, don’t encourage him. *to dragon* tell the nice artist thank you. *dragon slams tail and digs into the prime ribs*

Oy vay...Sorry. He has no manners.

Nah -- your crit was perfectly legit. I’ve been studying Emily Dic kenson and the like lately. --My mom adores her and her dashes and slant rhymes, so I guess it’s found its way into both my prose and poetry. (you may have noticed I use dashes more than is probably necessary in my prose^_^’.

"

*throws a steak to the dragon* Awww! He’s so cute! It’s an adorable poem. I’d watch out though. Twit might find out you’re writing poetry...or that I’m reading it. *shudder*

Glo 'the Bug' Bowden replies: "Yeah, I’d be more worried about you than me. You’d think he’d realize by now that Agency women don’t take crap from guys like him. "

Oh. I just realized that Barbara fed him a biscuit and prime rib already. Oh well. *gives the dragon some milk to wash it all down*

Glo 'the Bug' Bowden replies: "Ah! Watch out! *pulls Slip out of the way before she gets her hand bitten off* --I think I should put up a sign. "Don’t feed the dragon." You’d think the big claws and teeth would deter people...sheesh..."

strange poem. Strange, but very likable

Glo 'the Bug' Bowden replies: "Thanks. Though it seems to be very childish and playful, it actually has a much more sinister meaning. Like I said in the description, though, I’d rather have my readers decide. I already know what it means to me, but that could be entirely different from what it means to you."

maybe it means, seeing you’re walking across campus, that the dragon is your super strict teacher ranting about students, and you’re being thrown into the lion’s pit, or rather the dragon’s pit....
i dunno, thats what i thought.

Glo 'the Bug' Bowden replies: "Hey - that’s a perfectly legit interpretation. I like it! "

The first repeats made me think of "pitter patter" to me, the sound of rain; then I thought the whole thing could be the start and play of a thunderstorm rather than a creature. I hope it doesn’t mean you got drenched walking across campus.

I like the pattern, the flow, the rhythm.
Thanks!

Glo 'the Bug' Bowden replies: "Come to think of it, it was overcast that day. Thanks for your interpretation! "