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Sabrina E G Withers

"Warriors Born" by Sabrina E G Withers

SciFi/Fantasy text 13 out of 15 by Sabrina E G Withers.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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(CS)I wanted a story you could almost touch. Well how'd I do? *New edit with Paragraphs for those that asked so nicely ;)
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←- Let the Hart ask wisely | What Children See -→

The padded velvety footsteps in the darkness were the only sound, except for the slow breathing coming from deep within the blackness. A roar as strong as a tiger’s soul echoed around the footsteps and a few minutes later there came the sound of mewing. Newborn eyes opened in the darkness, blinking instinctively knowing that they faced another like themselves. A voice rumbled in the distance.

“Feerrrriioo.” The newborn turned at the sound of his name.

“Kiiaarra,” another voice said with the sound of thunder, and she looked up slowly.

Stretching limbs, now full of life and strength Kiara stood. Catlike agility merged with youthful playfulness as she pounced at Ferrio. A filtering of starlight lit up the darkness and they watched each other. The short legs and compactness of youth hid the fierce heart beating in their chests. A smile broke out across Ferrio’s face at first friendly but gaining a more mischievous aspect as it grew. Kiara matched his smile in strength swaying from side to side expectantly. Lifting in the air with an almost dance like movement Ferrio twisted towards Kiara, who jumped to avoid his landing, in turn tumbling in the air.

The soft thud of their padded feet landing on stone was the only sound that could be heard as they played, one jumping over the other in an endless, tireless cycle.

In the distance a gong sounded muffled by the stone that surrounded them. Scampering forwards towards the sound, with steps sliding in their haste, the two ran side by side. The fast fall of their steps slowed as the stride lengthened, the energy in their spirits visible in the supple muscles, newly grown, which lay under the surface of their now sleek bodies. Matching stride to stride they ran on.

Bracing themselves together they released the power within them, bursting through the doors that lay before them so that they were flung wide. Thus they entered the world outside the temple.

Starlit skies above them they raced on down the steps towards the trees. Each fall of their feet was met by stone as they descended the temple on a pathway made seemingly to match their stride.

As they entered the thick jungle what they sought was clear in their minds. They weaved through the trees almost flying along paths that seemed treacherous even in the light of day. Slowing for nothing Ferrio broke through the tangle of vines that lay before him as Kiara leaped into the trees and flew from branch to branch as easily as if on the ground. Their hearts beat in unison, as they knew their goal was near.

Jumping clear of the trees they entered a great clearing. The cries of newborn children filled the air and they bounded towards it. Time seemed to slow as they neared the two babes lying by the fire. They soared into the air shimmering as the flames shone on them. The babes opened their eyes to meet them, merging with them as the spirits of Ferrio and Kiara entered their hearts. One with a gaze of blue, the other with a gaze of orange, looked at the priest above them, who smiled warmly knowing that the tiger of ice and the tiger of flame had named them warriors.

←- Let the Hart ask wisely | What Children See -→

DateNameComment 
27 Feb 200145 Amythest
Hi this was a really good story and the end was uexpected and it seems like only the writer will truley know what the spirits were. I like the description and yes you can feel the story and move with it, i can't wait to read the second one. Please write more and put them up!
27 Feb 200145 Mina
interesting. i keep trying to figure out what ferrio and kiara (?) are. i'm thinking tigers, but dragons, but some funny furry thing. hehe. sorry if i spelled their names wrong. anyways... very descriptive. i'd say you did pretty good and achieved your goal quite nicely.
10 Apr 2001:-) Allison Bean
I found you from the message boards, so don't think that your post was in vain. ^.^ I agree with the others, i don't *quite* understand what they are, and the lack of paragraphs made it hard for me to read... but then again, i'm paragraph obsessive, so its best not to listen to me!
4 Apr 2002:-) Matthew Hart Akers
I agree, paragraphs... please? Otherwise, I liked this, save the fact that they ar not well described. Which is in itself a good part of the story, but slightly confusing.
1 Feb 2005:-) Katherine L. Burt
Yeah, definitely put some breaks in there- otherwise, any emphasis that the words desire for themselves is lost. But it's definitely a good read.

:-) Sabrina E G Withers replies: "Everyone keeps saying that about the paragraphs I really need to get round to doing something about it. And possibly adding some more stuff. 2"
10 Sep 2005:-) Sarah J Kinder
Yeah I was definitely confused as to what was going on until the very end. Still, nice description and I rather liked the ending.

-S
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'Warriors Born':
 • Created by: :-) Sabrina E G Withers
 • Copyright: ©Sabrina E G Withers. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Children, Jungle, Magic, Temple, Tiger
 • Categories: Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters
 • Views: 316

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