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Haley N. ´Everlorn´ Baker

"Tears of the Widows" by Haley N. ´Everlorn´ Baker

SciFi/Fantasy text 6 out of 6 by Haley N. ´Everlorn´ Baker.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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Another mythology assignment, we had to write a myth explaining a natural phenomena. Short and sad, this is what I wrote.
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←- The Fox Child: Chapter 1 | Twice saved, twice surprised -→

            Long ago, though our histories don’t like to document it, magic was a part of our world. It didn’t just hide in cupboards or wells like one might see today, it was an ordinary occurrence. It would not be surprising to walk down a road and greet a fae, two elves, a dwarf, and a giant in one day. It is the remnant of magic and its beings that cause some of what we consider to be “natural” happenings

            There were originally ten tribes of fae. Two of the tribes suddenly started warring with each other. No one was ever sure who started it; although some say it was a witch or a troll, but everyone knew it was unjust. These were the proudest clans of the fae, and they refused to stop. They battled across the globe with magic weapons that would only harm the enemy troops and effects. The women and children were kept safe in the houses of the other tribes. The war raged for an entire generation, until all the adult men of both tribes were wiped out. When the last two men killed each other, everyone was happy it was over and sad it happened in the first place. The eight remaining fae clans pledged that no feuds would put them at war with each other, and the dead were turned into stardust and were use to fertilize the earth. The saddest point in fae history was over.

            It was not over, however, for some. The widows were devastated by the loss of their husbands. A fae only has one soul mate, and the loss of that soul mate so suddenly and senselessly drove the women to madness. They left their homes and children, walking at night across the plains, crying for their husbands. Their tears fell like a soft rain, covering all where they had walked with fine droplets. The two tribes walked all together, moving as one in their mourning. Nothing could persuade them to give up their vigil. No one spoke to the widows, and they spoke to no one. Other tribes adopted the uncared for children and raised them as their own, thus reducing the number of clans permanently to eight.

            When things of magic were being persecuted, and all magical beings had to leave this world, the widows were asked to go. They refused, preferring their infinite mourning. Away from the source of magic, the fae women wasted away until nothing but the part of their spirits consumed by sorrow remained.

            Even today their spirits are still here. In the morning, there is a light dusting of water on everything outside. Scientists call it dew, but we know they are really the tears of ghostly widows. If you are extremely lucky, you can wait until the dead of night and see transparent forms walking through the grass, crying forever for lost love.

←- The Fox Child: Chapter 1 | Twice saved, twice surprised -→

DateNameComment 
17 Mar 2006:-) Richard Aaron Bruns
This is another great myth. You have captured the feel and style of the old legends perfectly. This is different than your normal writing style, and it shows your versatility. Normally you focus on character, action, and plot, but this is all about atmosphere. Try on adding a little bit of this style to your non-assignment stries.

12 Haley N. 'Everlorn' Baker replies: "Thankyouthankyou. There was a little more 'aloofness' in this story than my others. It aided the emotion I was trying to evoke."
20 Mar 200645 Jessica A.
I like it. It is a bit sad, but it's sweet. The story flows in the same manner as most myths and legends, so it definitely has the right mood. It's great!

42 Haley N. 'Everlorn' Baker replies: "Thanks girl! I kind of wanted it to have that depressing detachedness the myths had. Blue Punch!"
17 Apr 2006:-) Travis O. Newcomb 'Wolfga'
I think the list line pretty much sums up what you are going for in this piece.
"If you are extremely lucky, you can wait until the dead of night and see transparent forms walking through the grass, crying forever for lost love."

I have some questions about the story... What about the other fae clans? Why didn't they do anything to stop the clans from stopping? How long did the war last? Why did only the men fight?

"When the last two men killed each other, everyone was happy it was over and sad it happened in the first place."
Why would they in the least bit be happy?? ...maybe instead of using the word happy, you could say something like, "After the greatest standoff in fae history, the two remaining men fought hard, reducing themselves to the cold death of stardust; the war was over."

"dead were turned into stardust and were use to fertilize the earth" Is this a metaphor for something, or did they really use the dead bodies of the fae for...fertilizer?... To me that seems a bit shallow. Hehe - just try to clarify this up some and give a little more meaning to them being fertilizer.

"It was not over, however, for some." This first made me think that others were still warring. Maybe you could say something to the extent that, "The Fae War may have been over, but the memories still lived within those that were left behind."

"Nothing could persuade them to give up their vigil." Did something or someone persuade them to give up their mourning??

"When things of magic were being persecuted, and all magical beings had to leave this world, the widows were asked to go." I actually really like this line...you could do so much with just this... in fact, this could definitely lead into another story about how and what happend with the persecution of magic.

I hope to see an updated version of this story with more detail and perhaps a story about the persuction of the magic... or an in depth story of the war.

Thank you for the read! Take care and God bless!

6 Haley N. 'Everlorn' Baker replies: "Thanks for commenting and offering such good criticism. God bless!"
13 Jan 200745 Sarah A. Hostler
It brings a soft sadness to my heart. Beautifully done.
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'Tears of the Widows':
 • Created by: :-) Haley N. ´Everlorn´ Baker
 • Copyright: ©Haley N. ´Everlorn´ Baker. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Dew, Myth, Tears, War, Widows
 • Categories: Faery, Fay, Faeries, Fights, Duels, Battles, Ghosts, Ghouls, Aparitions, Romance, Emotion, Love
 • Views: 494

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The Fox Child: Chapter 1
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Twice saved, twice surprised
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