"Alex´s Reflection" by Anna Moonfrost Grawe

I like the pic and I like how the refelction in the water is that of a wolf. It shows that there is more to him than appears. Nice job

Anna Moonfrost Grawe replies: "Thanks! you get the concept to a point!"

I love it! nicely done with the reflection!!

Anna Moonfrost Grawe replies: "thanks! this is sorta where it all started and my story exladed and this is now a deleted scene to be redone some time later but it actually started off only being the guy sitting then well................. that happen!"

Silly computer! I think what i was going to say was that this is a very cool pic and a neat idea with the reflections! The whole feel of the pic is briliant with great atmousphere!

Anna Moonfrost Grawe replies: "thank you! i am going to post (when i can next) a pic. that i did in the same sketch book that is all the way done like this a backround and everything"

O_O woah. poor elfy no longer likes html...
there are a few things missing in your explanation for this piece, and being the mad editing fiend that I am, I will point them out. you can ignore me if you don’t care. I think you are one of those people whose brain goes faster than her typing. "you see he is supposed to do what this harsh man named Villis, and HATES it." supposed to do what? what Villis says? What Villis does? we need another word in there for the sentence to make sense ^_~

"basketball club, that wasn’t really official for the school, and the members" I would change the punctuation as follows: "basketball club tht wasn’t really official for the school. The members" Punctuation is annoying, and one of my old enemies, but it does help with clarity and makes things easier to read. I’m 26 and I still have a horrible time with commas...

"Alex was ecstatic that was the only enjoyable thing he ever did when in Villis’s presence, and he I might add was good too." Not exactly sure what this is meant to say, but I think it might be "Alex was ecstatic. The club was the only enjoyable thing he ever did while under Villis’s command. He was good at it too."

"Say why don’t you take of that necklace of yours" should be "take off that necklace of yours." I mess that one up a lot too. I hate words that vary by only one letter from another word, or words that sound the same but are spelled differently. >_<

maybe put what Alex is thinking in italics?

/gramarfiend

Anyhow, I like the story behind the pic. it’s interesting and makes me feel sorry for Alex. the pic is interesting too. I like mirror-images that aren’t quite mirror images. If I had a crit it would be more trees!

Anna Moonfrost Grawe replies: "yep i’m horrid at grammar! and spelling... well and you got it mainly right. As for what he has to do under Villis is whatever he is commanded and if he refused he eventually does it because the collar shocks them and it fairly painful thing.

This is now a Deleted thing in my story there is no longer a basketball club or anything. He doesn’t even play anymore!

oh and yeah more trees would have been good but i didn’t want to at the time *lazy*"

I never was good at grammar lessons, and as a result most of my grammar knowledge comes from reading. Read enough stuff with good grammar in it and it starts to sink in eventually. It’s the best way to learn in my opinion. I can’t, with confidence, tell the difference between an adjective and an adverb, but I can almost always tell when something is wrong with a sentence and how to fix it. Spelling I have a harder time with because I’m rather dyslexic.
aw... poor guy.

Anna Moonfrost Grawe replies: "yeah this is a deleted scene now the story doesn’t invole basketball really at all... yeah i read a lot so i get my spelling (sorta) and vocab. from it.....

I don’t understand why i haven’t replyed to this in so long..."

i like this one

Anna Moonfrost Grawe replies: "thanks this one is ok i have done better now"

reading, if one reads grammatically correct stuff, is a great way to learn grammar. It’s mostly how I learned, and so what I know is very instinctual.

ah, it’s easy to miss comments sometimes ^_~

Anna Moonfrost Grawe replies: "yes your right and yeah it is a great way to learn grammer becuase you catch yourself in the act"

I heard on National Public Radio the other day, a writing teacher and writer say that the advice she most often tells students is to read more. Few people can write without having read.

Anna Moonfrost Grawe replies: "!! very true it helps a lot!"

I like the idea of the reflections

Anna Moonfrost Grawe replies: "thanks this is really old and i wanted to do somthing i guess... "

one of my characters is part wolf!!!

Anna Moonfrost Grawe replies: " sweet!"