|25 Sep 2000|| Madeline Jane Quirk|
I first saw the first part of this in your lothlorien gallery and thought I'd have a look at the rest =) Although it seems to lack structure over the three stanzas, just looking at the length of each line, it has wonderful descriptions and a very magickal feeling about it. I'd love to read about your character Talis *nudge*
|26 Oct 2003|| Bryn *Stardust Faery* Lepley|
I think that this is a beautiful poem. And I have to disagree with the last comment that was made here... oh yeah... *second comment dance* the first person didn't do a dance, how sad... anyway, your poem DOES have structure.
The structure of it goes ABABCC, the only problem are the 3rd and 4th lines in the second stanza. I think that the two lines
'An icy swan maiden sits and passes the days,'
'Watching the life of icy blooms, sparkling in splendor.'
should switch, cause then the whole pattern is kept thoughout the whole poem. I like the actual idea of the poem, very magical. Keep writing!