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Bryan C. D. Doyle

"Battle Raven" by Bryan C. D. Doyle

SciFi/Fantasy text 1 out of 2 by Bryan C. D. Doyle.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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This is my first time at writeing poetry. Its about a Celtic deities, i have included a small history on it so if your confused please refer to it.
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←- Chapter One | Chapter One -→

Battle Raven

 

 

 

 

                        For all of you who are not history maniacs like I am I will enlighten you as to a little bit of history on the Battle Raven. She is said to be of the Tuatha De Danann in Celtic history, who were the ruling race of people in Ireland who were said to be godlike. The Milesians who conquered Ireland or rather took it in a single battle between the Tuatha De Danann and themselves. They believed the De Danann to be magical and took some of their Kings a Queens on as deities, although they believed they were only faces of the one source or Otherworld. Anyways Morrigan could take the form of any different animal or human. In some myths they said if you were going to die on this day when you went wash there would be a redheaded woman washing your bloody clothes. Her favorite form was the Raven, a symbol of death in Celtic lore. She was said to start wars just so she could feed on the corpses. I hoped you enjoyed my ramblings. OOH! And I hope you enjoy my first attempt at poetry.        

 

 

 

 

 

The River is golden with life,

It drains but is never dry.

The birds, the foxes and even the hares gather to feed on earthly delights.

But the birds all flee when the battle Raven calls,

Valor! Valor!

Morrigan is her name; She takes the shape of many,

But none so menacing as the woman washing your bloody clothes in the river.

She is loved by many, and hated by all.

She is the Battle raven Morrigan…

The river turns crimson with the life of warriors,

And the raven is there to drink it.

She is the Battle Raven.

 

 

 

 

←- Chapter One | Chapter One -→

DateNameComment 
9 Jul 2004:-) Aspen ' The Marshmallow Flamingo' Taylor
ooooooh! chilling! i love it though. have you read Wheel of Time? (it's just the tuatha danonn sounds like the tuatha'an and atha'an miere... just thinking)
13 Jul 2004:-) Charles ´Canada´ Clay
You've got a strong poem here. I especially liked the contrast between the river as the wellspring of life at the beginning of the poem, and choked with blood and death at the end. The only things you might want to look at are your capitalization (unless you intentionally switched up the caps on Battle Raven, in which case more power to you) and your enjambment (the point at which you start a new line.) You've got two really long lines which might look okay on a regular-width page, but here it forces a split and destracts the eye. You may want to end on a stronger word in each of those cases. But still and all, a very good work.

:-) Bryan C. D. Doyle replies: "Thanks I really relatively new to poems. So I like the encouraging criticism."
14 Jul 200445 L. Shanra 'Usagi' Kuepers
You know... no matter how much I think the poem might benefit from making those longer sentences shorter - the line break is NOTHING you can do anything about. Why? Because it's the commentor's resolution. It looks fine on my screen.

It's quite nice, actually. ^-^ The contrast, as was also pointed out before, is very well done. It feels kind of like a balance, if that makes any sense.

Might want to look at the caps when you mention the word Battle Raven, though, you're not quite consistant with them.

Anyway, it's a good poem. It has a nice flow to it and it definitely doesn't feel very much like an amateur's attempt. Er, not that I'm not such myself, but you understand what I mean, I hope. ^-^;

(er, when you get html down pat, you might want to reformat this though. Blank lines detract from your poems, not add. ^-^;12
10 Aug 200445 T.T. Dorionne
Oh, lord. Shanra. Everyone run for cover! Her nitpicking is sure to ensue, complaining about capitalizations and incorrect usages of the semi-colon!

On another note, good poem. I think it might help if, instead of telling us the history of it in the intro, you wound that info into the poem. You seem to really like Irish mythology, neh? Yeah, I'm the same way about Greek mythology. I actually knew more about it than my mythology teacher! Oh well. If you know my mythology teacher, that's really not saying much.

:-) Bryan C. D. Doyle replies: "Well actually one of my dreams is to either write for a living or be a folklorist and or mythologist... "
11 Aug 2004:-) Larry N. Morris
Oh yes, oh yes! If you like Celt-based poems, come see my "Ode to Angus McGee" (but remember -- I'm not a poet! LOL
11 May 2012:-) Genalee Simon
I have Irish blood on both sides of my family and I’m in love with everything Celtic related especially mythology. For your first time at poem this is pretty awesome! Keep at it!
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'Battle Raven':
 • Created by: :-) Bryan C. D. Doyle
 • Copyright: ©Bryan C. D. Doyle. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Celtic, Dannan, De, Magic, Pagan, Raven, Tuatha, War, Woman
 • Categories: Faery, Fay, Faeries, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Celtic
 • Views: 631

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