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Kristin A. Erickson

"Alien Report" by Kristin A. Erickson

SciFi/Fantasy text 1 out of 4 by Kristin A. Erickson.      ←Previous - Next→
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Notes from an alien observer about the planet Earth.
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←- Night Maiden | Chapter 1: The Woods Mansion -→




                                                            Alien Report


Art Gallery:


            These odd, intellectual beings seem amused easily by a lazy, dirty life. They seem to enjoy these strange fire sticks they have in their mouth, obviously being careless with how they use fire, sitting down as if they have no comprehension of walking on two legs.  Their hygiene is poor, and, unlike us, they have hair in many places other than the top of their head. Their towns and villages seem dank and moldy, with no color, beauty, or style at all. The main buildings seem to be melting underneath the bright star, and their religious shrines are very far from ostentatious. Their shelters stand upright instead of winding around trees and over rivers, and wires hang from rooftops and windows, seeming to either have no purpose, or to hold up some strange material that seems to cover their naked bodies. The material hides their natural figure while we walk around with only decorative ornaments that state our stature and maturity. Some of these beings bear flowers on their heads proudly, which in our culture, means you are newly married. As for their other appearances, they only have five fingers with clumsy hands that seem as if they could serve no purpose except to get in the way. They have clammy, wrinkly skin with puffed out cheeks that must indicate they are born old and stupid, for they have soulless eyes and almost no expressions.

            The technology is ancient compared to what we have discovered, and the forms of transportation almost seem impractical for use, mainly because they would take over 100 years to even touch the edge of our solar system, if they could even go into outer space at all. Their animals seem to have little use in their world except to pull around wheeled carts, and seem to be treated as an inferior. The flora is far less colorful and appealing to look at, and seems to have a small life span by how minuscule they appear. The food source looks like weeds, and must have the flavor of old bones, meaning that they are grown out of dust. As for manufacturing, they do not seem very prosperous, selling unimportant items that I cannot identify. It is very obvious they communicate well with each other, speaking in a language I could never understand, and write in symbols I could never read.


Plant Store:


            There are millions of flora scattered about, contained in small dishes so they cannot move about and breath. I get the impression that they are bred to be sold as a piece of scenery for people that cannot enjoy them in their natural environment. They are small, colorless flowers that are fed by their owners, evident that they cannot feed themselves. Their mouths are so small and weak that they could not catch a fauna even half their size. They are an insult to the world of plants, and are an over-bred species with thin blood, but their breeders seem to excite in their pain as they fade away from all existence. The people who come to take these plants away give the breeders green paper that must have some worth or meaning, because they seem to cherish it dearly. The plants are then thrown into the back of their transporting vehicles, which roll away slowly, polluting the air with brown fumes that seem to cloud the skies, which is a pathetic shade of blue. The stars, which are not visible in the daylight, are dull even when darkness falls, and the small moon is like a candle in the middle of a dark field.


Grocery Store:


            Their food source is held inside strange boxes and containers that have meaningless writing and art all over them, which do not taste edible at all. The fruit and vegetables are dwarf in comparison to the ones that grow in our land, and have a horrid and bitter taste in every kind. The meat is mangled and slapped into some kind of miniature vacuum, seeming to have no evidence to what animal it came from. The grains are in a form of compacted, crunchy substance that is utterly tasteless and vague. There are strange dairy items that are all thin and unsavory, having no richness or creaminess at all. In a cold part of this odd building, there are freezers that contain hard foods and sweet things which taste like bile.

            On the other side of the store, there are strangely packaged items that taste absolutely atrocious, giving off faint color, all adorned with pictures of body parts. Other items have pictures of women and babies on them, with strange, flexible bowls and objects that resemble wristbands. There are putrid colored liquids in odd looking bottles that smell dirty, and there are items that taste of our native mint plant, but far more exotic.

            All around this building, people are walking back and forth, picking up all these disgusting objects in such bulk you’d think they were addicted or starving. They push around carts with tiny wheels, and the driver’s seat is placed in the back, which indicates that there is no control from that area, but only from the outside.

            I have concluded my report on the human race: they are in fact useless and I give further permission to terminate the project and exterminate them immediately.

←- Night Maiden | Chapter 1: The Woods Mansion -→

15 Nov 2006:-) Heidi Hecht
It's interesting to see the human race from an alien perspective. Brutally honest but, to be fair, we would seem rather primitive to an alien capable of travelling from another star system.

2 Kristin A. Erickson replies: "Indeed, a little brutal. But to see something someone else's perspective, you have to step outside yourself for a bit and put all your thoughts and feelings aside. Glad you like it!"
12 Mar 2008:-) Charlene 'The Amazing Bubble Girl' M. Mattson
Ouch. *checks sky for spaceships ready to destroy the Earth*
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'Alien Report':
 • Created by: :-) Kristin A. Erickson
 • Copyright: ©Kristin A. Erickson. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Alien, Earth, Fauna, Flora, Green, Lazy, Planet, Report, Vile
 • Categories: Extrateresstial, Alien Life Forms
 • Views: 617

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More by 'Kristin A. Erickson':
Chapter 1: The Woods Mansion
Angel's Underground Prologue: Part 1
Night Maiden

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