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Samantha I. Hosea

"The Last Minutes of the Old times" by Samantha I. Hosea

SciFi/Fantasy text 3 out of 19 by Samantha I. Hosea.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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euh, well, started off when I just woke...I don't know what to think of it...tell me what you think!
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←- A prophecy | Again -→

7-11-2000.

 

 

The Last Minutes of the old times.

 

 

 

The City had a veil of red light hanging above, coming from the fire of battle. Birds were circling over the place where men had once decided to build their homes and, flying, looking down, they tried to understand but couldn’t. They themselves had battle every now and then, but never would one of them endanger their own species, not even the hostile ones.

The glow of the moon made the reddish light seem pale and hope faded in hearts of the few innocent, scared people. Trees shook their leaves in disapproval of human behavior, feeling the breeze caused by several explosions nearby.

If you would be as brave as to step through the arch of the City, there would lie pain, death and ending, flames and destruction would be perceived. Destruction of the human kind, for indeed this was the Last City of the old times.

The one man responsible for all this temporal sorrow, had finished writing his letter to the next generation, and put it with the rest of the remains of the high culture that has been. And, lying down, knowing he too will depart this life, he prayed, to the former God, the God in the culture of the old times, but also to the unknown God of the new time, which was sure to come, for a better life for all those who will start without blemish of former times.

He is sure another chance will be given to set right all the foolishness that has been achieved. People had screwed up, but still deserve to prove themselves, though not in this time. First, all men will have to be distinguished, only then will a new generation rise in a new time and another chance is given.

And as the last living creature of the species of men breathed his last, time stopped.

 

Thus, a new era began.

←- A prophecy | Again -→

DateNameComment 
8 Feb 2001:-) Jeremy R. Rood
Ahoy hoy! ::bows politely:: You asked me very nicely to leave some commentary, but I had to dig through the Elfwood archives to even find the site. I like this piece a lot - concise and packed with a gret deal of meaning. Plus it's dark, which I always find intriguing. Keep up the fine work. ::Almyti salute::
26 Apr 200145 Sander
Your superdescribtive style makes shivers run down my spine as the grey mass of my brains start to spin the images that you paint so clearly. There are not many stories that described the downfall of humanity as well as this one. Feed us more and more and more! 12
6 May 2001:-) Liz Salazar
Excellent! I love how you told so much of the story in so few words. I also think the personification you gave to nature was a nice touch. I guess my one complaint would be the commas. Try to get rid of any unnecessary commas--that way your words show flow a bit more. Great story! 2Now that's the kind of comment I have been waiting for!!! Thnx! As you might have noticed, I consequently try do follow your advice. Nice, useful comment, things I can work with, that's how I like it! Very much appreciate your comment...
17 May 200145 Madeline Jane Quirk
Wow, this sums up so much in such a short space. The strong mention of nature in the beginning reminded me actually of a story we had to read in English Literature in School only a short time ago about war, but there was this underlining message of nature vs. man which you too have done. It's a very interesting theme, and like a past commenter said the personification of the trees is done well. But then the short story went even deeper! - With the beginning of a history of this culture... this man who has done so much wrong (which yet again reminded me of some school history - Hitler, although I'm sure he was never compassionate as you've carried on with this man.) And then, again, you've reminded me of something else at the end, that it was the end of one era and the beginning of another as the last man took his breathe... it reminded me of the ice age with dinosaurs... To me the mention of the new era didn't mean a new group of humans, but rather another species... although I'm sure that's not what you meant. All in all I think you've achieved so much meaning into such a short amount of space and it's intriguing to read. Muchly enjoyed!thank you! It always amazes me how other people can see my story...It's one of the many things I like about writing; the story can go on in one's head, live a life of its own...and people can think of it whatever they want...they find so much more, deep, profound stuff, other stuff in it than I do! Great!
6 Jun 200145 Leon Bekkema
Dit lezend word ik herinnerd aan het bijbel verhaal van de
zondvloed. De nieuwe kans ondanks het valen. een mooi vervolg op my yalla hero.
-leon-transl: reading this I'm reminded of the bible story about the Great Flood. The new chance despite the failure. Nice sewual to My Yala Hero
11 Aug 2001:-) Luc Greven
It's about time mankind got slaughtered... we keep messing up everything... As for the story... the message is good. The description is powerful... but it's too clipped. I would love to see this lengthened.
21 Aug 200145 Hein
Another beginning means another beginning of foolishness, for if it were humans again to start over, again would sorrow become the most neglected part by mankind's richest class...

If it were not with money we would find other ways to outmaster others and exploit them and their homes at all cost, all for the temporarely benefit of ours alone,

Therefor it is not our hope, but the hope of the one's in need for a chance to start all over, but as long as greediness and materialness are still (though not openly) nourishments for our hearts, will we strive for yet another end.
16 Jan 2002:-) James B. Guy
Seems very religious in aspect but just plain and slapping in the face of human stupidity and the uselessness of WAR.
3 Mar 200245 Vic Alfieri <phantom_11@hot..
I really like your style, i just clicked on random story on the elfwood front page and your story about Wulrough came up.

I like the depth of your story, it has so many levels it's not funny! On one level humanity is in ruins and is being given a new chance, another is man vs nature and in this case nature wins out, another is the religous undertones of the whole peice.

All in such a short space! I dunno how you did it, but it's frikken awesome man!

One comment i will make against it is that it's too short, i wanna read more....what happens to this society of humans, is the new world better off? or are there things about this new world that mimic the old? Anyway, it's late and i'll read more of your stuff another day, good stuff so far though! Cheers, Vic.
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'The Last Minutes of the Old times':
 • Created by: :-) Samantha I. Hosea
 • Copyright: ©Samantha I. Hosea. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: For the best, New world
 • Views: 281

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