|3 May 2001|| Ryan T. Brent Van Cleve|
Sometimes the wind is angry with you and sends a buick crashing through your house. Sometimes it's happy with you, and sends a buick crashing through your house.
|8 Jun 2001|| Jason J. Romein|
Kinda odd, in a good way. Oh, and it's conquer, not concur. To concur is to agree, so... =] Thanx! That's useful! More people should correct me on my english...But it seems that no one wants to! Please, do!I wanna learn and learn...I know it isn't perfect, so I want to improve my ability to use that beautiful language...but... - sniff - nobody seems te want to help me with that...you were the first one! Thank you, very much appreciated!I really like the way you phrased that last line with a question. That was effective. The rest of the story was a little bit confusing, but that's probably 'cause I'm tired. =]no, don't think so...Ijust put this here because I promised the Wind I would...
|12 Aug 2001|| Liz Salazar|
I think the wind is a bully. You shouldn't let it boss you around like that.
Anyhoo. I loooove how you just write random little things like this! It's just... so... clever. Dude. Well, no criticisms here. Good stuff!
|27 Nov 2001|| Christopher 'Topher' Allen Shepard|
I think the wind reminded you of the poignancy of the state of being alive.
Air is a very stimulating, tangible substance that can easily arouse one's senses.
I think you experienced a moment of extreme selfawareness, where for one split second, you understood the intrinsic meaning of what it is to exist.
Anyway, I enjoyed your story, and as someone else mentioned, you have good pacing.
I might add that your spelling, grammar, and punctuation are exemplary too.
I'm not really a writer, btu I think that this was well written.
Thanks for leaving the cool quote on my gallery.
See you in the woods!
|4 Jan 2002|| Rose|
Girl... this piece of work would just make me want to hug you. It can see this story happening, just before my eyes..i lovvvvve it!
so, and now for the critism
There was just this one part that made the story a bit confusing (as someone else already commented).
>And, after a hard week, sitting on that bicycle in the >open air,
It's cause by the word "AND". What's the deal? was she cycling home after a hard week of dissapointments, and then suddenly an other week has passed? Or are we talking about the same week here (and that would mean that the wind had been blowing hard all week long and that it is that last day that she first pleads to stop blowing so hard..and then after a few minutes she realises why it is blowing so hard).Well, for me, the word, "and" indicated that a decision was made..or that something else was happening...or that another part of the story was beginning. Don't you sense the atmosphere changing after that word? anyhows, that's why I put it in there.
Whaha.. I know why you can see this story happening right in front of your eyes...is it.. because...you did? SO many times... ok, so I was with Sjors on this particular event, but you are still the person who has seen me on a bike for the longest time...if you add up all the hours...wheehee
|22 Feb 2002|| Oliver S. Nothers|
Lovely. I like the whole idea itself, I like the style you wrote it and... hey... it sounds kinda familiar to me...
What the wind did... hm, did you get an extra accelerate every now and then?
btw, Thx for visiting my place...
|1 Apr 2002|| Cissy N. Nimbita|
*big grin on her face too* This is so funnily great! This really is a 'Samantha-Story', correction: this is Samantha! Love it! (having experienced your bike, I totally understand the way you were feeling
|30 Oct 2002|| Meike|
Earlier I commented on your grammar, now I realize it wasn't me, so I'm going to try correct it:
she'll get home=> she'd (would) get home, you tend to use the word bad a little too much, I recognise this from myself as in dutch the word bad seems to fit for almost anything. Try substitute it with angry or for example: "I didn't do anything bad=> wrong?" , realizing she realized that... what does "that" refer to. And finally: it's is the same as it is... I think you mean to say it: "was"
Okay, I do very much like the story though and me being curious as always... where do you live in the Netherlands? Where did you learn English so well? Anyway, keep it up!