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Samantha I. Hosea

"Wind" by Samantha I. Hosea

SciFi/Fantasy text 9 out of 19 by Samantha I. Hosea.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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True story! (well, a bit modified, but still most of it is true...)
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←- early story | ______________________ -→

                                                                                                            4-4-2001.

 

After a week full of disappointments, disturbing thoughts and the like, she now was cycling home. Feeling the strong wind hardening her face, she at first struggled to concur it, but soon gave up. It had no use. And it didn’t matter anyway, she’ll get home eventually. She wondered what she had done to make the wind so mad…Why was it raging? Why was it blowing so violently, like someone or something had done it wrong in an unforgivable way? There must be a reason…Was it frustrated? Did it want to tell her something? She was getting tired from trying to cross the remaining distance, the wind perpetually blowing harsh raindrops in her face. She tried pleading: “Please wind, I didn’t do anything bad, did I? Why are you so mad at me? Please let me through?” but the wind kept on raging inexorably. And, after a hard week, sitting on that bicycle in the open air, trying to get the wind to blow less hard, she suddenly felt alive again and a smile, no, a large grin appeared on her wry face. “Thank you” she murmured, realizing she realized that and thanking the blowing wind for it. And there she realized another thing. She had never written anything about The Wind! Not a story, not a song, not even a poem! She didn’t even include the wind in the previous story! That’s why it’s blowing so hard, not to let her forget its presence! And, still toiling, she cast her head back, screaming addressed the wind, and yelled at the top of her voice: “I will write something about you, you’ll get your own story, tonight, I promise! Now please let me get home! I promise I will!”

 

So I have kept my promise…What do you think the wind did?

←- early story | ______________________ -→

DateNameComment 
3 May 2001:-) Ryan T. Brent Van Cleve
Sometimes the wind is angry with you and sends a buick crashing through your house. Sometimes it's happy with you, and sends a buick crashing through your house.
8 Jun 2001:-) Jason J. Romein
Kinda odd, in a good way. Oh, and it's conquer, not concur. To concur is to agree, so... =] Thanx! That's useful! More people should correct me on my english...But it seems that no one wants to! Please, do!I wanna learn and learn...I know it isn't perfect, so I want to improve my ability to use that beautiful language...but... - sniff - nobody seems te want to help me with that...you were the first one! Thank you, very much appreciated!I really like the way you phrased that last line with a question. That was effective. The rest of the story was a little bit confusing, but that's probably 'cause I'm tired. =]no, don't think so...Ijust put this here because I promised the Wind I would...
12 Aug 2001:-) Liz Salazar
I think the wind is a bully. You shouldn't let it boss you around like that. 10 Anyhoo. I loooove how you just write random little things like this! It's just... so... clever. Dude. Well, no criticisms here. Good stuff!
27 Nov 2001:-) Christopher 'Topher' Allen Shepard
I think the wind reminded you of the poignancy of the state of being alive.
Air is a very stimulating, tangible substance that can easily arouse one's senses.
I think you experienced a moment of extreme selfawareness, where for one split second, you understood the intrinsic meaning of what it is to exist.
Cool huh.
Anyway, I enjoyed your story, and as someone else mentioned, you have good pacing.
I might add that your spelling, grammar, and punctuation are exemplary too.
I'm not really a writer, btu I think that this was well written.
Thanks for leaving the cool quote on my gallery.
See you in the woods! 12
4 Jan 200245 Rose
Girl... this piece of work would just make me want to hug you. It can see this story happening, just before my eyes..i lovvvvve it!
so, and now for the critism 12
There was just this one part that made the story a bit confusing (as someone else already commented).
>And, after a hard week, sitting on that bicycle in the >open air,

It's cause by the word "AND". What's the deal? was she cycling home after a hard week of dissapointments, and then suddenly an other week has passed? Or are we talking about the same week here (and that would mean that the wind had been blowing hard all week long and that it is that last day that she first pleads to stop blowing so hard..and then after a few minutes she realises why it is blowing so hard).Well, for me, the word, "and" indicated that a decision was made..or that something else was happening...or that another part of the story was beginning. Don't you sense the atmosphere changing after that word? anyhows, that's why I put it in there.
Whaha.. I know why you can see this story happening right in front of your eyes...is it.. because...you did? SO many times... ok, so I was with Sjors on this particular event, but you are still the person who has seen me on a bike for the longest time...if you add up all the hours...wheehee
22 Feb 2002:-) Oliver S. Nothers
Lovely. I like the whole idea itself, I like the style you wrote it and... hey... it sounds kinda familiar to me...
What the wind did... hm, did you get an extra accelerate every now and then?
btw, Thx for visiting my place...
1 Apr 2002:-) Cissy N. Nimbita
1 *big grin on her face too* This is so funnily great! This really is a 'Samantha-Story', correction: this is Samantha! Love it! (having experienced your bike, I totally understand the way you were feeling 2
30 Oct 200245 Meike
Earlier I commented on your grammar, now I realize it wasn't me, so I'm going to try correct it:
she'll get home=> she'd (would) get home, you tend to use the word bad a little too much, I recognise this from myself as in dutch the word bad seems to fit for almost anything. Try substitute it with angry or for example: "I didn't do anything bad=> wrong?" , realizing she realized that... what does "that" refer to. And finally: it's is the same as it is... I think you mean to say it: "was"
Okay, I do very much like the story though and me being curious as always... where do you live in the Netherlands? Where did you learn English so well? Anyway, keep it up!
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'Wind':
 • Created by: :-) Samantha I. Hosea
 • Copyright: ©Samantha I. Hosea. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Promise, Rage, Wind
 • Views: 516

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