"Forbidden - Chapter 4" by Elizabeth Holgate

Told by Mastema:

Further and further we travelled from my old prison.

I wanted to keep walking until I was as far from it as I could possibly be, away from the other slaves, away from my Master's rooms with all their dark, unseen secrets, and away from his corpse. I still refused to let the knowledge that he was dead relax me at all. He wasn't natural, why should his death be otherwise? Thoughts like that plagued me. Memories of nightmarish creatures that were content to tear each other apart to claim me for reasons that I didn't even want to consider.

Walk faster. The faster you walk the sooner you'll be away from it all.

And that's what had kept me moving, ignoring the pathetic trembling of my limbs as I struggled to keep up with Valdris' pace, though I desperately wanted to beg him to slow down somehow, make it clear to him that I was near collapse. Ariadene saved me from that embarrassment, complaining after she'd noticed me stagger on several occasions, even going so far as to reach out and help me from time to time. It seemed odd to me that though she had protested about bringing me along, she was the one taking care of me. Valdris, whom I reluctantly thought of as my saviour, seemed rarely to acknowledge me, not making eye contact even once throughout the journey. But then why should he? He didn't owe me any such consideration. I owed him. He'd even gone so far as to name me.

Mastema. I finally had a name. Can you think of a name as a possession? I certainly did, it was finally something I had that people couldn't take from me, though I felt it too heavy, too regal for someone like me. But it was a good name, not a weak one, not a number. Idly I brushed over the engraving on the band around my brow. I hadn't even realised there had been any marking's there until I heard Ariadene mention it at some point in her constant chatter.

So, here I was, travelling with two companions to whom I owed everything, supposedly not a slave anymore. That's what they'd told me anyway. So why did I still feel as if I were one?

To accept a favour is to sell one's freedom.

I couldn't recall where I'd heard that old phrase, but it seemed very much true at that point. They had freed me, and thus I was indebted. Really I felt it more applied to Valdris, the tall, silent man, stained with a great sprawling tattoo across his bare chest, and more across his high cheekbones, all in bold black that stood out so very obviously against pale skin. I felt very intimidated by him, not only physically, but by his presence. There was nothing playful or happy, he seemed to act as emotional as a lump of rock, despite that ever-present sadness that seemed to be etched into his features. When he did deem it necessary to exercise his vocal chords, it seemed he did so grudgingly and only to make a blunt statement, not to converse.

I think Ariadene was intimidated too, though she made an effort to hide the fact by reprimanding his attitude every now and then, which he would typically ignore. How was one to get on with a man like that?

I'm sure I sighed often that day, my mind weighing heavy with thought and unwanted memories. Out in the daylight it wasn't as difficult to set them aside, so many new things I could look at to distract myself, but it was the night I was dreading, knowing I'd be incapable of stopping any dreams. With the night came darkness, and darkness was all I'd known in that hellhole. I prayed to God's I didn't know that I'd never sleep again.

It was as dusk began to fall that my body finally refused to go on, no matter how badly my mind wanted otherwise. One moment I was stumbling along beside Ariadene, staring at Valdris as he walked tirelessly ahead, the next I was on my elbows and knees. I was severely disappointed in myself. I'd wanted to prove to Valdris that I was no weakling, that I was going to be no burden to him, and yet here I was unable to move, clutching at the blanket as if it were important to hide myself. Strange that I should feel a compulsion to do so when I'd spent hours being carried by him utterly naked, and spent every single day of my life the same way.

"Valdris wait!" Ariadene snapped when he didn't turn or stop. He took a few more slow strides, then turned around to face us. Without even realising it, I'd bowed my head so that I wouldn't have to meet that blank gaze. "He's exhausted, you can't expect him to go any further!"

"Ridiculous, we're only 8 miles off. Another hour and a half and we'll be there."

8 miles. It seemed like forever to me, and there mere thought of attempting it made my knees buckle so that I was more or less sprawled on my front, only propped up by my elbows.

"Another 8 miles and you'll have killed him, then your valiant rescue will have been for nothing. What's wrong with you?"

Hard as it was, as much as I just wanted to lie there, I forced myself upright. Ariadene was at my side immediately, trying her best to support me, though my weight to her frail looking arms must have been terrific. I found myself looking up at Valdris, wanting desperately to challenge his opinion of me or at least see some respect in those vivid, viridian twins, for I was sure he was regretting having freed me now. What I saw was the same blank stare he always gave me, and I felt myself recoil automatically.

Don't hate me, please don't hate me.

He walked towards us, and I felt Ariadene's grip on me tighten protectively, as if she were honestly scared of whatever he might do. Weren't they friends?

When he brushed her aside, she released me immediately. There was no arguing with those large hands, though he used no force. A moment later and I was no longer standing. He'd lifted me so effortlessly, with such speed that I was dizzied, and my arms went around his neck instinctively to steady myself, my knees locked around his hips. So I was to be carried again, like some child. I felt so ashamed that I wanted to cry, but I couldn't not when I was so close to him, not while he could see me.

"Valdris, enough with the strong-man performance. You're tired too, it would make more sense just to stop and rest here for a while, if not set up camp for the night."

He only muttered something, and began walking again, giving her no choice but to follow.

He wasn't like a man. No real man could be like this, so determined and tireless, it wasn't natural. If he'd shown some sign of weariness, I wouldn't have been so scared, but never did he yawn or stumble. I closed my eyes, limp in his grip, not wanting to see Ariadene looking at me as she followed, staggering occasionally by now, but doing an admirable job of keeping up anyway. The bounce of his march stopped me from falling asleep.strange, because he seemed to fluid to watch.

"Finally, I'm about ready to collapse."

Ariadene's words were enough to rouse me a little and turn to see our destination. I think my jaw must have dropped, because she chuckled as she moved to catch up, and saw the expression on my face.

The temple was colossal, wider and taller than any building I'd seen before, like a pyramid almost, wide at the bottom, narrower at the top, but with four sloping sides to it, 3 smooth, one made up of gargantuan steps with a set of smaller ones running up its centre to reach the top. Fires blazed everywhere, around the temple, around the squat, 1 level buildings that massed around it, at the peaks of watchtowers that were stationed in a rough circle around everything and in one enormous blaze at the base of the temple that roared up from a deep pit, as if the earth itself were spitting it skyward.

"You wait Tema, here you'll be looked after, you'll have a bed and clothes, plenty of food."

It only then hit me how hungry I was. We'd stopped only once to eat, and had consumed only some tough, dried meat, too salty, and requiring huge amounts of water to wash it down to any acceptable degree. I paused at that thought. Ariadene and I had eaten but I hadn't seen Valdris do so. In fact I'd eaten exactly what she'd had, which lead me to believe everything I'd been given had been Valdris' own ration. Again, I felt guilty, a burden. Despite feeling indebted to him, I also couldn't wait to be away from him so that I wouldn't be constantly reminded of it.

I sighed, still gripping his shoulders pathetically. It had been nice to be warm for a change, to imagine that I was being held by someone who cared, even if that were a falsehood. How I longed to ask him why he'd bothered with me at all.

The guards at the watchtower paid us no attention as we passed through towards the temple. Valdris would be easily recognised by anyone I supposed, no need to stop him, even if he was carrying a stranger. Directly up the steps we went, and only then did I feel Valdris slow his pace, the incline proving a slight challenge. I wanted him to put me down, to walk that last little bit myself, but I thought if I bothered him, trying to get his attention and wriggling to get down, I might anger him. If only I'd known then how hard it is to provoke him to anger.

At the top of the temple, a dark passage opened up before us, a brightly- lit chamber at its end, illuminated by impossible numbers of candles, and torches upon the walls. I could feel the heat emanating from it before we even entered.

A group of 8 men set in a wide semi-circle on a slightly raised platform, ancient looking, wrinkled creatures that reminded me of my master. I restrained my sudden instinct to struggle when I saw them, and Valdris finally set me down on the floor. Automatically my legs threatened to buckle, and out swept one strong arm to keep me upright.

Sharp eyes settled upon the three of us, and I felt my skin prickle, as if I were being attacked by dozens of tiny biting insects. Valdris and Ariadene lowered themselves to one knee, heads bowed, and I automatically did likewise, still kept steady by my saviour.

"Valdris, bringing in strays again?"

He stiffened as the first spoke. It surprised me that this wasn't the first time he'd done it.

"Sir, you have my apologies. The necromancer had"- Valdris never got to finish his sentence.

"Don't bother with an explanation, that doesn't help matters now." Came another weak old voice. "It is unacceptable. You've been warned time and time again."

"Yes sir."

"What do you expect us to do with him?"

Heavy silence followed that question. My knees were beginning to ache. I wanted to be away from these men, whom I already disliked intensely.

"Can a place not be found for him in one of the villages that tithe to us?" Valdris asked quietly, hopefully.

"Children and women we might be successful with, but a grown man is no easy thing to deal with."

"Yes sir, I'm sorry sir."

"We must give this matter serious thought. We cannot allow this to go unpunished. For now he will share your quarters, your clothes, and receive your meals. Is that understood?" Valdris was so silent for a moment that I thought he was going to protest, but instead he only nodded, head still bowed. "Dismissed."