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Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner

"Drag" by Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner

SciFi/Fantasy text 2 out of 11 by Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner.      ←Previous - Next→
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This is a different take on mermaids from the whole, beautiful woman, so nice and friendly and wonderful. Don't get me wrong, i love mermaids, they are one of my favourite fantasy creatures, this is just something that came out of my head hehe.
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The cool sand beneath feet,
The smell of sea on the air
The gulls in the sky,
Not a figure to be seen.
Hair blowing everywhere
Face stinging from the wind,
The sound of waves lapping at the beach
A simple afternoon swim.
Feet are getting wetter,
Wading out into the deep.
Until feet cannot touch the ground
The cold bite of water refreshing body,
Refreshing the entire soul.
Then suddenly,
From deep down,
You feel an urgent tug
And under the water your head goes,
You are being pulled down
You try to kick but whatever has you won't let go
Seeing the sun you reach up towards it
As if just the sight of it will help you
And you cannot get back up.
Lungs feel ready to burst
Panic rising in your chest.
And then…
It is over.
You are looking up at your body.
You can see your own face
Pain wrought all over it
And your body is just floating to the surface
As you get dragged deeper into the ocean
Suddenly you wonder,
What takes you down so very deep?
And you look to see your nightmare…
Fish like gills,
Dark urban hair,
Topless breasts staring at you
And a long thin tail of seaweed colour
Eyes widen in terror
As you see your own body
Tail, no legs,
Naked body,
Fish like gills
You look at where your hands are supposed to be
But all you see are arms that end in fins
Horror strikes you hard as you realise
You've become your worst nightmare
A mermaid from the deep.
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11 Jul 2005:-) Katherine L. Burt
Heh... More like Siryns, hm? Dragging humans to the deep. Interesting to have the human become a mermaid- I don't think I've seen that one done before.

2 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Sirens? Well kind of though they seduce the person before they take them away right? i wasn't going for that. Thankyou for the compliments though 1"
21 Jul 2005:-) Matthew J. Hillary
Kind of a cool, dark little tale.


12 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Dark, yes that was kind of what i was going for, contrasting the opening lines with how it ends and so what. Kind of like a nightmare. Thanks for reading!"
31 Jul 2005:-) Micah A English
Actually mermaids, in folklore (not disney), were rumored to drag people under all the time. Lots of things that live in the water are supposed to drag people down for various reasons, actually. Nereids (water nymphs)from Greek mythos kidnapped cute guys, if I remember right.

1 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "i am not sure if i was influenced by folklore or not. usually with such poems its the feelings that i am writing about... but maybe i was. hehe thankyou for your comment"
17 Aug 2005:-) Emma-Jane C. Smith
I love it!!! This was excellent! I never thought of writing something like that. It certainly gets the imagination going! 2

12 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "ah and thats what i wanted, the imagination to go go go. But i used to get the creepy crawlies when i was a kid hehe about things coming from deep down and eating me... something to do with being an australian living onb the coast and the whole shark thing i think..."
20 Aug 2005:-) Julia Anna Rill
i'll never go bathing in the ocean... well, maybe i will... 10

honestly, i like the poem and the way it changes from peaceful description to horrifying action!

:-) Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Thankyou for your comment, i believe that was one of the things i was going for in this poem, to change it from the beauty of the sea to horror. THanks a lot for your lovely comment"
18 Sep 2005:-) Keith D. Brooks Jr.
This was an interesting concept. Man becoming their worst nightmare has been done before but never the way you have portrayed it. I like how you took the concept of the mermaid and made it your own; I love doing that in my writing, whether it be the unicorn or the dwarf--it adds a little of the writers own soul in the writing. I really liked it! 2

2 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Thankyou ever so much! Its not like i set out for this to be different its just what i wrote... sometimes unplanned stuff is the best. I also enjoy putting a new spin on a certain creature that has been portrayed one way for a long time... it makes it more fun. Sorry i took so long to reply to this and thanks for commenting!"
10 Dec 2005:-) Dan Shevock
Wow, great idea. I loved it. Excellent writing. Does he now have to kill someone to let them become a merrow?

:-) Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Um who kill what to become a merrow? whats a merrow? thanks for the compliment all the same however!"
14 Dec 200545 Clarence Likness
Weeeeee... that kicked butt. i loved it

18 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Thanks!"
25 Jul 2006:-) Laura Lee-Anna Looney
Wow this is hauntingly beautiful. I love how you protray the beautiful mermaid that every one loves as an evil creature from the deep.

3 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "*laughs madly* that was the general idea... to portray the mermaid as something different from the norm... something scary not beautiful and... well disney."
1 Jul 2007:-) Dragonsluver
*laughs* This is so twisted! I LOVE it! *likes twisted things*

3 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Heh! Thanks very much... twisted... i liked that description of it! "
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 • Created by: :-) Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner
 • Copyright: ©Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Mermaids, Nightmares, Ocean, Sea, Water
 • Categories: Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic
 • Views: 730

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