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Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner

"Invisible Wisdom" by Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner

SF&F Picture 1 out of 11 by Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner
 
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This was the second story i ever wrote that was fantasy. I quite like this one, I introduced elements of poetry as well as story telling techniques that i think work well. Thankyou for your help in previous comments before the crash! *edit* changed the name to what it was before.
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She was one of the great, mostly unnoticed powers of the world. Her Power was immeasurable, her beauty, untold of, her intelligence and wisdom far more than anything else that ever lived. She had been there in earth's creation. She had been there in the growth of man and woman. She had been there to watch trees be cut down and people to begin to learn, to talk, to think, and to dream. She had been there for it all, but not once had she interfered with her knowledge and wisdom. She was one of the great, mostly unnoticed powers of the world.


She had watched people grow towards many things. She had seen the discovery of metal, to the discovery of the wheel, to the discovery of electricity. She had watched man build great buildings, and watched them fall down. She had watched them learn how to build bombs that destroyed people's lives, and she watched as they set them off. She had watched people grow towards many things.


Her family was the greatest of all. She was the daughter of the universe, and the niece to the stars and planets. Her twin was the Water, her brother was the Fire and her youngest sister was the Earth. She had been the first of her siblings and would be the last. After everything else would die, as it would one day, she would still be there. She was invisible yet beautiful, only her kin knowing of her true beauty. For she was invisible because if others could see her, they would not understand her beauty, they would not understand her intelligence and they would definitely understand how she understands the universe. Her family was the greatest of all.


She always helped her siblings. She helped her twin, the Water to move into the sky, to move from the sky, and also to move into the ocean and to be there for her all the time, no matter where her twin was, she was there too. She helped her brother, the Fire by giving him fuel to feed his yearning flames, to spread him when he needed it, and even to put him out when he wasn't needed anymore. She helped her youngest sister, the Earth by helping to spread seeds from place to place, to move soil to cover up unwanted things, and to help nurture her sister's plants and trees. She always helped her siblings.


Air is apart of the universe in complex entwined ways. Air was apart of all of her siblings, and was always there for them. Air was all that is and all that was. She could see the past, she could see the present and she can see the possibilities of the future. Everything there is to know she knows, she hears, she sees, she learns, she knows. Air is there when nothing else is, it blows, and it moves, it howls, and it whistles, it builds, and it destroys, it learns, and it is always there. Air is apart of the universe in complex entwined ways, and she will always exist.

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DateNameComment 
10 May 200545 Alexandra Jeanne Savoy - Knitter
*just looked at title* Haha lol I'm a bit of a space cadet today, aren't I? xD Guessing what the title described...

1 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Thankyou so much for your input... it was most helpful. Yeah i think i knew that it was more the sun, but the water goes through the air... i think your idea was much better, and when i get around to editing these stories again i might put that in. I realised once i had submitted the ticket that i named it wrong. The first time i uploaded before the crash, it was called Invisible Wisdom... i think... i am going to have to change that! thanks again for your comments"
10 May 200545 Alexandra Jeanne Savoy - Knitter
2 I kept trying to guess what she was...I was caught between the sun or the wind element. The only thing I would recommend is that air isn't really part of the system in which water goes from lakes, etc and evaporates to form clouds (forget the name lol)...that is really more of the sun, causing the water to heat up and turn into a gaseous state (hence why I guessed the sun). In a vague sense, yes, it does, but air/wind does have a more direct involvement with water in the fact that it moves the clouds through the sky and it makes waves in the ocean and other bodies of water (I'm not too sure of the latter but I think it's correct). I liked how you started and ended most of the paragraphs with the same sentence. It gave the story a rounded feel, which was good. Air is an often overlooked element; congrats for such a nice piece about it!
23 May 200545 Gwendolen van der Linde
Ahhhh, I really can't remember all I said, but you know it, and you can treasure this story for ever and know, that I looooove it!

1 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Thankyou so much. I know that you really like this which makes me really happy seeing as though its one of my favourites. So thankyou for takin the time to read it again 2"
8 Jun 2005:-) Katie Collishaw
wow... lovely!!! This was truly interesting.. I like the idea of a beginning and ending sentence being the same.. except of course for that very last one.. throwing us a curve eh? lol. ABsolutely lovely. It seems too short for me. just gettign ready to learn more about her .. and poof she knows all.. maybe you could make this longer, show us how the air interacts with her siblings.. hmm.. yes.. that would be nice. lol

2 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Awww thankyou so much. I am glad you enjoyed it. As i said around here somewhere i was incorperating one of my favourite styles used in poetry... repeating lines. In tonnes of my non fantasy poetry i do just that... sometimes to convey the meaning in a different way... which i have done a few times in this story. It is supposed to be short. The initial idea came to me out of the blue (like most of my fantasy stories) and i did intend to talk about her 'siblings' but i think i will leave it as it is, i love this story and i am glad you enjoyed it 2"
8 Aug 2005:-) Brian 'Dulcet' Bergstrom
Truly an enjoyable read. I like stories involving elements. I sort of figured it was Air after you described about Water coming into the ocean and back out again. Very clever how you worded it as well. I wish I could write in that poetic tone.

1 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Oh wow what a compliment! I am glad you knew it was Air, i was tryign to word it in a way taht you would think you knew but werent sure lol if you get what i mean. Thanks so much for complimenting the poeticness (not a word i know) of this, i tried very hard on this! Thanks again"
17 Aug 2005:-) Emma-Jane C. Smith
Interesting! Definetly good. I think you should actually use this as a prologue and write a story of, perhaps, how she once steps in to help a human, or to stop something bad from happening.

Or maybe you could write about how one of her siblings (perhaps her twin, Water) is destroyed by the humans and she retaliates, lashing the land with her fury. And the people die. And so she has no more of a task to complete, so she continues to exist, while all her other siblings have long gone.

Just a thought, hope you like it!!! 2

1 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Yikes what a lovely comment to find in my inbox.I have thought of doing co-stories to this about her siblings, how they die but she is still there. somehow i cannot find the inspiration to do so and so i keep with this. Maybe later down the track when i am home i will give it a go.thanks again for the lovely comment and great ideas."
2 Oct 2005:-) Andrijana Ignjatovic
Wow. What a lovely story! You are so talented. I kind off guessed it was air, but the concept was really good. Would like to read more about air and her siblings!
Oh, another thing, you writing seems to flow...it is poetic in a sense.
Keep up the good work.

1 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Thankyou very much! I used one of my favourite conventions in poetry of repeating lines in this. I put a lot of work into this one i must admit even though it is short... i want to write more about her siblings but i will see if i am inspired. Thanks for reading and commenting!"
14 Dec 200545 Clarence Likness
wow.. love the imagery (think i mis-spelled that), by i have to admit i was expecting a story or a poem.... by the end of it i thought i was reading more of a statement.
Even still... i loved it

2 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "I understand what you mean by a statement. Its neither a story or a poem. I used poetic techniques of repetition, symbolisim and such to get through my point. The idea of it was to get you to look at Air in a different way through the eyes of a true onlooker. i am glad you enjoyed it though as this is one of my favourites."
29 Dec 2005:-) Evelyn 'grey wanderer' Wightman
Mmm...This is good. Very good. It has a certain...rhythm, it just flows. There are some people, some voices, that just bring certain stories to life. This is one that just needs one of those voices to make it breath. I like detached way it's told in. Not I, or My sister, or anything like that. She. It just makes it flow like...like wind.

12 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Thankyou very much"
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About 'Invisible Wisdom':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner
 • Copyright: ©Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Air, Wind, Element, Spirits, Gods, Higher beings, Fire, Water, Earth
 • Categories: Angels, Religious, Spiritual, Holy, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters
 • Views: 288


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