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Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner

"The Last Guardian Angel´s Conculsion" by Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner

SF&F Picture 6 out of 11 by Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner
 
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This is the second and the last part to my story The Last Guardian Angel. I quite liked the end though it changed three times before i was happy with it. Still think theres some problems so tell me what you think. Enjoy!
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The Last Guardian Angel Two

Gwain walked around the destruction with a faint smile twinging his old lips. Many wondered why Gwain chose an old body and face as his guise in the Communion. There had never been much of a reason besides that old angels seemed to comfort those that were old better. Gwain smiled ruefully thinking of the countless old people he had helped and never a word of thanks. Under some of the wreckage he could see a horrible leg of one of the Devilish Ones. From what he could see the leg was coloured black but the fur was a grotesque brown colour that could only be described as the colour of human waste.

Gwain walked up to the leg and wondered if underneath it the rest of the monster would be there. Still the faint smile lingered on his lips, as he surveyed the work he had helped create. He had helped this happen. The Communion had been crumbling. The angels were not what they were hundreds of years ago, going to help people who clearly couldn't be helped. It was a waste of time these days. Humans would rather have their computers, Ipod's and playstationthingers than have real help.

It made Gwain feel like being sick… if he could be.
Looking down he saw the leg was gone. Probably back through the portal that Gwain had set up for them to get in. He, like the rest of the angels could smell the betrayal in the air the day it all happened, but at least it didn't smell like him. Still it was wafting in the air, a smell like metal and anger. He hated it. But he did what he had to do to help the Communion. The last thing to do now was to close the portal and make sure no one ever discovered it was him that opened it. He wondered if Mwella would remember anyone else soon… or if she would die off in the human world like so many others…




Mwella sat on the seat bored. She had tried and tried and tried but no matter how hard she scrunched her forehead, no matter how hard she banged her fists on the table not another single angel came to mind. She tried to remember home but couldn't. Even Gwain was slipping from her memory again, and she tried to cling onto it as best she could… but it was becoming difficult.

Hours of this went on as Mwella sat alone. She decided she needed a break and might as well have a look around. Looking around she realised for the first time that she wasn't alone. A little bit away on another park bench sat a young woman. She looked immersed in a small black square shaped thing, and her fingers were flying over it really fast. She would frown, stop and then continue again, her fingers zooming across, clicking at something on the black thing. Mwella watched her for a while wondering what curious human behaviour this was. It was at this moment that Ladella the Computer came into her mind.

Ladella had been an expert on human technology. She had taught Mwella a lot about the different gadgets that humans used for work and leisure. She had always been the one that could find out anything about any human contraption on earth. She was the one that explained what a hairbrush was for and why humans used toilet paper. Ladella had used a black square thing like that human over there many times, to experiment with.

Suddenly Mwella felt a presence next to her and turned to see Ladella. Mwella was so happy and proud of herself that she had remembered another angel. Ladella smiled at her in the tight way that she did but her eyes were soft.

"Well, well you remembered me Mwella. Well done." Mwella beamed at her at this. "Am I the first?" She enquired looking at the woman tapping away.

"No I remembered Gwain first," Mwella said with a smile. She was shocked to see the small smile on Ladella's face fade into a scowl. Mwella wondered what she was thinking and Ladella looked at her hard.

"You didn't detect anything from him… that was… different did you Mwella?" Ladella asked with the concerned look still on her face.

"No, he seemed the same as I always. He was wearing a boring suit though, not in his usual clothes like you are." At this Ladella's frown increased.

"What did he tell you of your task?" She asked with authority and concern in her voice.

"He told me that I had to remember the guardian angel communion," at this Ladella nodded, "He went back up there to start packing up and await the others that I remember, he told me I had to be in a quiet space like this park to remember everyone" Ladella's frown deepened again and she looked at Mwella carefully.

"You realise you would have remembered better if you had been home? Didn't he tell you could go home? That he would help bring forth the other angels?" Mwella was suddenly afraid by Ladella's urgent tone.

"HE SHOULD HAVE HELPED YOU MWELLA!" She said angrily and Mwella was now really frightened and Ladella could see that, so she softened her tone. "I am so sorry Mwella but the fact of the matter is we were betrayed to the Devilish Ones. For the longest time Gwain has been… lets say suspected of unangel like behaviour. I believe he was the one that betrayed us… otherwise you would be up there with him now. I can help you remember the others, but if we are too do that we have to go and confront Gwain the Betrayer first"

"But I can't remember anything Ladella. How are you to help me when I can't remember anything about being an angel?" Mwella said in a sad tone and looking down at her feet, she felt like something was stopping her from remembering. At this Ladella looked at Mwella closely and her eyes widened.

"Mwella, you have a block on your memory! That's why you can't remember anything" Ladella looked at her again and then touched her head.

Memories, thousands of memories flashed into Mwella's brain… the smell of betrayal at the communion, what the communion looked like, the angels… all of the stunning angels, her friends… everything came back to her. One major thing that came back to her was that Gwain had never taught her anything. He had manipulated her mind and memory and she was furious. Mwella sat there for a while remembering and processing everything. When she looked up from her feet the once deserted park was full of people talking happily. She frowned looking around and realised she recognised some… no all of them… they were all guardian angels! She had brought them back! Pleased she looked around her to realise that Ladella was still frowning. Mwella read her thoughts quickly, now that she remembered how and she smiled broadly.

"Don't worry Ladella, I know what we have to do… I have a plan to trick Gwain" Ladella the Computer stared at the young girl and was heartened to see the intelligent glow back in Mwella's eyes.

"Well then, lets go home" And at that the many thousands of people in the park disappeared leaving the woman tapping at her laptop alone.




Gwain had been considering checking on Mwella's progress. He felt somehow responsible for the young angel, especially seeing as it had been his idea to send her down there instead of one of the older angels. They all had wanted to protect her though, and instead they had put her in more danger. She was in danger of fading away like many other angels who went to earth and he knew it with his heart more than anything else. He felt something like twang of guilt of what he had done but he dismissed it with a smile, knowing that the communion would get back on track.

He had cleared up the mess and had fixed the portal so that the Devilish Ones couldn't trespass again. The deal between them had been simple. He approached them with the chance to destroy all the guardian angels. They had been suspicious at first but the opportunity to ruin so much work that the communion had done, to destroy angels that might never be restored was much too great of an offer to pass up. They had come and had struck with no mercy. If angels had limbs and bodies like humans they would have been torn to pieces leaving a bloody ruin behind. The Devilish Ones had everything they needed to destroy the angels, and Gwain had given it to them.

Gwain turned around determined to check on Mwella to find a woman he had never seen before standing in front of him. Quizzically he attempted to read her thoughts but was shocked to find that he couldn't, he was blocked! The woman smiled briefly at him in a sincere and apologetic way, almost as if to say that she was sorry she couldn't allow him to see her thoughts. She was graceful and striking with flashing silver eyes. He couldn't take his eyes off of hers and almost like he was in a trance.

"They say, that good beings are seduced by evil things" She began with a voice that was light and ringing in the empty space that used to be the communion. "Same could be said of you, am I right Gwain?" She said smiling at him in a knowing way.

"Excuse me, I do not know how you know me, but I am hardly evil" He said shocked by the way the woman seemed to know exactly what he was thinking.

"Ah and why do you assume I was talking of you?" She said with eyes that flashed intelligence. Gwain stood there dumbfounded and spluttered trying to get words out. He just pretty much admitted he was evil.

"Yes, you did put your foot in it" She stole the words right out of his head! "You always did have a knack for that though. It was the first thing I remembered once I saw you and you knocked me down" As she spoke Mwella's voice turned back into her own and her appearance slowly shrunk into the childlike appearance she had always took up. "But you quickly erased that from my memory too didn't you, that I had recognised you. It explains why I remembered you after I got knocked down Gwain" Although she had taken up her childlike form the intelligence still flashed in her silver eyes. "Why would you do such a mean thing? You had to get me away from the busy streets to somewhere it would be easier for me to fade. I cannot believe I didn't smell betrayal on you straight away. Maybe it was all the human bodies around us but that shouldn't have affected my senses as much as it did. Why couldn't I remember anything at all? Because my memory had been erased by you when you sent me to earth, to make sure that the communion wouldn't be coming back." Gwain stood rigidly, stuck to the ground. Understanding that she knew it was he who betrayed them all dawned on his face. How could she know all of this? All of his planning… all of what he had done? "Because you had dulled my angel sensors to that of a human child… my mind to that of a human child! The only thing left for me to ask is why… why me? And why did you do all of this?"

As she said this Ladella appeared at Mwella's side with her slight smile. Gwain fumed when he saw the woman, a woman he had never particularly liked. But he was even angrier when suddenly every angel that was supposed to be destroyed reappeared… all fixing him with cold intense stares. He cringed at the sight of them all but he didn't move.

"I did it for the communion… to restore it to its rightful glory…"

"NO," Mwella yelled silencing Gwain. "You are lying. You did it for yourself. Because no one ever took any notice of what you thought. You did it so you could run the communion the way you wanted it to be" Mwella's eyes squinted the anger apparent in her face, one arm pointing at him. "But its not yours to run Gwain, and what you did was truly evil. You were seduced by evil and you know it." Gwain was shuddering; he never knew that Mwella, just a child was so strong.

"I, I, I…" Gwain tried to speak but couldn't. The eyes staring at him made him look to the ground and even then he could feel all of the angels eyes burning his skin.

"We turn our back on you Gwain" All of the angels said in unison, the ritual saying when casting out an angel. Gwain's face was full of horror as every guardian angel turned their back on him and was forgotten.




The last guardian angel had been sent down to earth to be protected. She saved them all like they knew she would, even though their plans had been corrupted. They had turned their backs on Gwain the Betrayer and continued to help and guide the humans on earth. The guardian angel communion discovered they didn't send a child to earth, but an angel as wise and strong as any of them. She was now known as Mwella the Wise, no longer the child.

←- The Last Guardian Angel | A Love Tail -→

DateNameComment 
10 Dec 200545 Damien
Seems quite an interesting follow-up, the second half changes pace somewhat and it's a little too abrupt to have the story change so quickly. I think it needs to be drawn out a little more.

There are a few grammatical problems too that make a few sentences slightly difficult, such as:

"old angels seemed to comfort those that were old better"

Generally though, the story overall seems well written; just needs a little clearing up! Funky stuff.

2 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Thankyou! I know it was abrupt and the change was deliberate because i wanted Mwella to seem more and more advanced compared to the first part. I also really wanted to get this second part down on paper quickly as i had great ideas for it at the time. thanks again though"
18 Dec 2005:-) Sarah J Kinder
Back for more! Anyway nicely done

I have some nitpicks for you in case you need them later:

Mwella sat on the seat bored.<-- I'd put a comma after seat unless you are saying "seat board"

Looking around she realised for the first time that she wasn't alone.<-- You just said looking . . .

too do that we have to go and confront Gwain the Betrayer first" <-- to instead of too.

"Well then, lets go home" And at that the many thousands of people in the park disappeared leaving the woman tapping at her laptop alone.<-- that was kind of funny. 12

appearance she had always took up.<-- taken (you might want to switch words because there's another later.

The only thing I didn't like was this:
"We turn our back on you Gwain" All of the angels said in unison, the ritual saying when casting out an angel.

Explaining precisely what was going on just isn't quite as showing what was going on.

Anyway, overall nicely done.

-S

2 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Thankyou for all the critism and pointing out my many mistakes lol! i really ought to look out for that more. I understand what you mean about the last bit, it is a little bit too remote isn't it? I hope to fix that in the future! Thanks again for commenting i appreciate them all very much!"
31 Jan 2006:-) Karolien V Burms
this part is also very good. and it took an interesting turn, when it appeared now, that Gwain had betrayed the angels.
but I wonder. Does Mwella like to be known as the Wise, or would she rather liked to have stayed the Child? but thats completely different from the story. anyway I really like it!

1 Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner replies: "Thanks for the comment. She was always the wise... in a sense... err... it was in her to be the wise... she wanted to be the wise not the child. Thanks for commenting"
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About 'The Last Guardian Angel's Conculsion':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner
 • Copyright: ©Jacqueline ´Jac´ Tanner. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Angels, Guardian angels, Spirits, Holy, Devils
 • Categories: Angels, Religious, Spiritual, Holy
 • Views: 338


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