"A Need to Belong Part One" by Laura Evans

A Need to Belong

One: Roommates

I was seventeen at the time I was forced into the United Planetary Allegiance. I wanted nothing to do with them, but I had no choice, I had passed their fleet exam with flying colours. When the recruiting officer called I was trying to cook supper for myself.

"You are going to join the United Planetary Allegiance's Fleet young lady! You are exceptionally smart for one so young." the man on the phone said firmly.

"But I didn't even want to...." I began.

"It doesn't matter if you didn't want to take the exams or not, my dear. All young adults on Mars over the age of sixteen are required to write the exams." the man on the phone finished.

So the next day, I was packed up and moved to the New Orion District Academy Dormitory. I had three other roommates in one rather large space. There was one girl and two guys in the same room. One was Coral Meckanori, a nineteen year old mechanic with lavender coloured hair, purple eyes, and is very nice. She is one of my dearest friends because she defended me on my first day at the academy.

And then there's the problem of one of my other roommates, Kris Dirkson, who's two years older than I am. He's really tall, blonde spiky hair, blue eyes, triangular shaped nose, and a medium coloured tan on his skin. He always seems mad about something. I wonder what it is?

Oh yeah, the last guy. His name is T.J. Righteous. He's eighteen and was born on Earth! I never knew anyone from Earth until I met him. He's also the most sensible out of the four of us. He has brown eyes and brown hair. His right eyebrow is pierced too. To tell you the truth I don't even have my ears pierced. He says that he was born in Australia and that's why his skin is so dark. He likes surfing, and he says that he'll take us with him the next time he goes to visit his...family.

Me personally? My name is Jayde Summers. I used to live with my legal Guardian until I was forced into the Academy to become a pilot. As I already said, I'm seventeen years old. I have green eyes and reddish-brown hair. I like to read and everyone says that I'm really quiet. To be honest, I don't really like to talk with other people. I'm more of the write things down kind of person.

"Jay! Dinner!" Kris called.

"Coming!" I said as I walk to the door. I sniffed the air to see what had been cooked and it smelled like pizza. So I walked through the blue coloured room and into the main area of the dorm room. I looked over into the kitchenette and saw that Kris was actually smiling. "Hi. How are you today?"

"I'm good. They said that we should make you feel welcome here because you're younger than us and that you like pizza. So we ordered a pizza or two. Did you want a slice?" he offered.

One thing that always caught me off guard, why did he always call me Jay? Only my Guardian called me that, but then again, he was here with me today. I hope he's okay...

"Hey! You want pizza or not? We could gladly eat both pizza's by ourselves if you prefer?" Coral teased.

"No! I want some. I’m hungry."

"Well come on then Jayde. We got pepperoni because that's all we eat here anyway."

Yes! No mushrooms! So I walked over to the round table in the kitchen and there was an empty chair that I sat in. I was wearing my baggy blue jeans and a red shirt that clung to my arms. Kris sat down in the black chair next to mine.

"Shall we eat then?"

Two: First Day

My first day at the New Orion District Academy was interesting. When I got up that morning, Coral was waiting for me in the living room. She had a black bag with her that sitting on the round wooden coffee table. With a serious look on her face she turned to face me. Her lavender hair was wrapped tightly into a bun and there was a steely glint in her lavender coloured eyes. I, however, was still wearing my blue and yellow striped pajamas. My hair was braided because it was very long at the time and I was rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"You may wish to shower and get this uniform on. Classes start at nine o'clock." Coral explained. "You're here for pilot training right?"

"Yeah."

"I'm supposed to show you to your first class and then you're on your own. Kris' class is right beside yours, so just find him and he'll help you find your way." she explained to me.

"Thanks. I'll go and get ready then." I replied as I started to turn toward the bathroom, she grabbed my arm.

"Wait, Jay. One other thing." she started. "Have fun. Its your first day. Stay out of trouble and mind your own business and you'll be just fine."

She released my arm after that and I got ready for my first day of training. It took about an hour or so to get ready and I pulled my hair into a ponytail. Luckily, the uniform Coral had given me did not contain a skirt in the garment bag, but the pants were kind of itchy at first. I patted down the jacket before I put it on and found some money in the front pocket. This is for lunch. The table in the back corner is where we sit. Meet us there. ~ Coral, is what it said.

After I had pulled on the uniform, Coral and I walked to my first class. My first class was about the beginning's of becoming a space pilot. It included learning about how to operate the computer that would have to be used. We had to enter in the course and the trajectory in which the vessel was to follow and then we had to verify that the course we had selected was correct. Unfortunately, I kept messing up because I didn't understand. Because of this, the learning committee evaluated my skills and they decided that I needed a more personalized learning plan. So after that first class, I had a private teacher whose name was Sabin Dirkson. He was really nice the first day and everything just seemed to click after about three or four times of trying; he let me try until I got it right.

After that class was over I had to learn about the regulations of being a pilot. I learned a lot about the rules of flight training. My position as a pilot was vital to the function of the ship. The vessel cannot function very well without the pilot, and that was why there was always another pilot to control the ship incase something happened to the senior pilot. I was to start out as a junior pilot and work my way up to being a senior pilot. The instructor of that course was really understanding and made things simple enough for the entire class.

Then came the time for lunch. I still had the money that Coral had given me this morning. I ran into Kris along the way, so I didn't get lost as easily on the way to the cafeteria.

"Get into the lunch line okay Jay? I'll go claim the table. Do you know which one it is?"

"The table in the back corner." I assured him.

"Coral left you that money right?" he pressed.

I nodded.

As I got into the lunch line, a small argument ensued between two of the upper classmen. I took Coral's advice and minded my own business. But one just couldn't help but overhear their argument the way they were carrying on. It seemed that they were fighting over some girl. Yet at the same time they pointing at me constantly. They kept saying that the other person should do it. They were so much taller than I was, (I only stand about five foot four) and I didn't know what to do. Then, just out of nowhere, I felt one them come closer to me. So I stepped forward into the line. That same person kept following me, and it made me feel uncomfortable.

"Hey cutie. You wanna go someplace quiet and talk?" he purred.

I was getting scared by that point and wanted out of the lunch line. "No." I replied quietly.

The guy grabbed my arm and started to tug me out of the line. "I don't think you have much choice."

"I'm not going!" I pleaded.

The guy jerked me out of the line at that point. "Yes you are!"

"NO I'M NOT!" I shouted.

Almost as quickly as I had shouted at the guy, Kris was there.

"You messin' with my friends again, Bucky?"

"Huh? Dirkson!" Bucky growled. "You'll pay for ruining our fun."

"No, I think not." he stated bluntly.

A fight quickly ensued after this. Bucky, lunged after Kris with such ferocity that I never seen Kris even land the deft punch to the hulk's abdomen. Bucky, then gasping for air picked up a chair and hit Kris along the side of the head. At that point Kris's knees buckled underneath him and he fell to the ground. Bucky, a victorious look on his face turned back to me. "Now, where were we?"

He never got the chance to finish. Someone came up from behind Bucky and bashed in the head with a cafeteria tray. The campus security came along and stopped everything. They were all burly sized men with cold glares on their faces. Its almost as if Kris and Bucky had had that kind of fight before.

"What happened here?!" the one closest to me barked.

"Bucky went after the squirt there." someone pointed toward myself.

The blond security officer stalked over to me and looked me up and down with a rather scrutinizing glare. The expression softened after he saw that I wasn't hurt. "Are you alright?"

I nodded and swallowed because a lump was forming in my throat. "What about Kris? That Behemoth of a person swung a chair at him and he just crumpled to the floor."

"That moron. I've told him about this five million times. He's always fighting with someone. But I can let him off this time because he wasn't starting trouble. Hey, take Bucky to impound and take Dirkson to the Campus Infirmary!"

Despite the man's offer to escort me to my dormitory room I followed him and his fellow officers to the Campus Infirmary to stay with Kris until he woke up. No one had ever defended for me like that before.

After about an hour or so of waiting in the main office of the infirmary, (and looking at really old data files) the doctor came out to talk to me. "Yeah, you seem to be about his type."

"Type? Are you saying that Kris likes me?"

"Well that could be, but may wish to keep that to yourself. I get a feeling that I'm going to be seeing a lot of him now that you're here. Alright, I can assume that you're staying with T.J. and Coral too, so can you call them and ask them to come and get you and Kris. He'll be a bit groggy for now, but that head of his is as hard as steel, so he'll be fine, alright Jayde?"

I smiled at the doctor, but how did she know my name? "Thank you, is there a phone around that I can use?"

"You don't remember me do you?"

The voice sounded familiar at the time but I didn't recognize who they were at the time.

"Jay!”

I looked out the door of the infirmary and saw that Coral was standing there gasping for air.  “Are you alright and where is Kris?”

"Yeah, but Kris got hit by that chair..."

"You heard what Dr. Tuckey said didn't you? He's got a hard head, he'll be fine."

Three: Kris

I got worried about Kris on more than one occasion. He always seemed to defend me even if it was a small thing like Bucky (again, he wanted to go out with me), Kris was always there. But one day, after another encounter with the infamous Bucky, he got really mad at me for some reason of which he has never explained to me. Lately, all he's done is sit around and stare gloomily at the wall in the dorm room the four of us share. I wish he'd tell us what's wrong. He quit going to classes as well and Coral, his best friend can't even convince him to get up some days.

One day, after my first simulator test, I cornered Coral in the cafeteria. "What's bothering Kris?" I asked quietly.

"Trust me; you don't want push this subject with him. But I can tell you that we're going to have a house guest soon." Coral explained.

"House guest?" I enquired. "I thought that was against the school policies."

"They've made an exception for Sally Dirkson."

I looked up and saw that Kris had come out of our dorm room and was still rather gloomy. "Why are you so mad?"

Kris placed a hand on top of my head. "I don't think you'd want to know about my mother. She's not a very nice person. Coral has met her."

"She can't be that bad, can she?" I pressed.

Kris sighed at that point. He didn't know what to say after I said that remark. I couldn't even tell what he was thinking. I wish he'd open up. There's so much that I don't know about him. All I want to do is understand him better than I do. Sometimes, he's so happy and supportive, other times; he's dark, and stubborn. But lately, he's been brooding about everything.

"Say Kris, can we talk for a few minutes over there?" Coral pointed to the back entrance of the library.

"Alright."

I started to follow Kris through the crowded hallway, but he stopped and shoved me back into the crowd and flashed me a mean looking glare. I averted my eyes from that glance and continued walking to my next class.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Later that evening, I found out just how bad Kris's mother really was. He told me everything about his childhood. His father had left his mother shortly after his birth and his mother had passed away from some virus when he was ten. He was then put into foster care and juggled around quite a bit until someone adopted him when he was twelve. He said that his new family was rather dysfunctional and that his adopted parents were alcoholics by nature. He had been forced into working by the time he was fourteen in an ordinance store. I never knew that he had it so bad.

At sixteen, he opted at the chance for his freedom. The exams brought that and the chance to be a captain was his bid. He entered the academy as soon as he found out that he had the opportunity to be a captain, just to get away from his family. I can relate to his problems.

I've known my legal guardian since I was a small child. My biological parents had abandoned me at a hospital shortly after my birth. I too, was put into foster care for around six years. That was until I ran away. I lived on the streets of Orion for about three weeks until I stole some bread and was caught by a man all dressed in black. I fell to the ground and I don't remember much after that incident. I woke up in a bright cheery room with a lot of beds and crying children. There was this one guy with blonde hair and sporting a blue bandana. He was wearing a set of gray coloured pajamas and was looking directly at me with blue, inquisitive eyes. I remember meeting Locke and then falling back asleep again. My memory from that time is in small bits and pieces. I wish that I knew more, but Locke won't tell me anything about that time. All he told about it was that it was a very horrific time for all of us there.

"Where is that short young girl? She can go get me more beer!" Kris' mother shouted in her drunken stupor.

"No she's not. She's a minor mother." Kris pleaded.

"Nonesensth! She's old enougth to go and gets more beer!"

"No."

"What did you justh shay?"

"You heard me, old hag. None of us are going anywhere. Except you. You are leaving and I don't want you coming over here anymore!" Kris nearly shouted.

The four of us and Kris' mother were all sitting in the living area of the dorm room we shared. The whole apartment was in shambles because of Sally's drinking problems. She was a very dangerous drunk and I didn't know what to do. There was dirt all over the sea-green carpet from a knocked over flower pot full of daisies and the once royal blue coloured couch was now covered in a black bed sheet to keep any stains from showing up. We were in for quite the next few days of cleaning the whole area from Sally's excursions.

"I'm not leaving!" Sally shouted defiantly as she crossed the dirty carpet toward the overstuffed easy chair I was sitting in. She grabbed me by the wrist and jerked me to my feet. "You! Go and get me more beer!" she screamed at me, while tightening the grip on the wrist she held in her hand. I winced in pain and felt a tear trickle down my cheek.

"Let go. You're......hurting me." I pleaded in a desperate tone, but the grip tightened even more. The pain was becoming more and more unbearable.

"Let go of her!" Coral pleaded. "Can't you see you're hurting her?!"

Kris began to glare fiercely at his mother. "No she doesn't Coral. She doesn't realize what she's doing to Jay because she's to drunk to realize any of this."

Walking over to his mother, Kris grabbed his mother's arm and began to peel the fingers off of my wrist. "I said that you are no longer welcome here. Now let go of my friend and leave!" he snapped as he peeled the last finger off of my wrist and escorted his drunken mother out the apartment. I heard a door slam and Kris quickly walked back to me. He gently picked up my wrist and looked at it with a scrutinizing glare. "I'll have to wrap it in a bandage to keep it from swelling. Does it hurt at all?"

I had never had anyone hurt me in this way before and the pain was making me feel dizzy. Kris eased me back into the easy chair I was sitting in and found a bandage to wrap my now purple colored wrist in. He kept muttering to himself the whole time as well but I fell asleep in the chair and woke up the next morning in my room.  I slowly flexed my wrist and saw the bandage wrapped gently but firm around the bruises.  I stared up at the wall in my room and felt horribly guilty for what happened the night before.  The curtains were open and light flooded into my room.  I sat up in my bed and watched the red quilt fall from the top of my shoulders to my mid-section.  I was still wearing my red t-shirt and blue jeans from the night before.  I flipped the downed quilt to the end of the bed in my bedroom and swung my bare feet onto the cold floor.  I could hear Coral puttering about in the kitchen and the TV was turned down low.  Obviously, I was the last one to wake again.  I looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was ten o’clock in the morning, but it was a Saturday so it was alright to sleep in.  I walked through the clean room on light feet and opened the door to the main area of the apartment.  “Good Morning!” I called out cheerfully.

“Good morning Jayde.” TJ said to me politely.  “How is your wrist right now?”

“It is actually a little stiff and sore.” I replied quietly, remembering what had transpired last night.  I looked around the room and did not see Kris anywhere.  “Where is Kris?”

“He’s feeling guilty about what happened last night.  He’s not in a good mood either.” Coral explained.

“He went to blow off some steam then.  So would he be in the training center?”

“Yes he is, Jay.” TJ finished.  “Be careful when you’re around him today though.  He’s in one of his moods again.”

“Nothing unusual for him, I’ll make do.”

~*~*~*~*~

I found Kris near the back of the training center, cursing like a mad man and beating the belligerence out of a punching bag.  Sweat glistened on his well muscled arms and had flattened his spiky, dirty blond hair extensively.  Coral and TJ had been right today, Kris was in one of his moods again; and I knew why too.  He had said his mother was a bad person and he was all too right.  He did not pay attention to me as he punched the bag with ferocity.  I approached him with caution in case he missed the punching bag and hit me instead.  The training center was empty and smelled of sweat.  The floors, walls and ceilings were covered in black mats as the training center was a sparring room as well as a gym to workout in.  I spotted a towel on a bench near Kris and his punching bag and went to sit down on it.  That was when he noticed me.  He stopped punching the bag and dropped his fists to his sides.  His blue tank top was drenched in his own fluids.  He stared at me with a guilt ridden face.

“Jay…I didn’t know she’d do that…”

“Look Kris, it is not your fault that your mother has a drinking problem.  Maybe your mother doesn’t realize that she has a disease.”

“Jay, stop it.” Kris snapped while driving his fist into the punching bag hard.  “It is my problem because I didn’t try to stop her sooner.  You don’t know what I went through.  Four blasted years Jayde!  Four years!  God, it hurt so much.”

Kris has stepped away from the punching bag and had turned his face away from mine.  He was depressed; I could tell that much from the way he was acted.  He had buried his face in his arms and his shoulders were shaking with suppressed emotion.  I rose from my perch on the polished wood bench and walked over to him.  I placed my hand on his shoulder and felt him flinch under my hand, even though I was straining my arm to reach his shoulder.  “But you got away from it Kris.  You rose above your mother.  You’re not doing the same things that she is.  You’re better than that.  I know the Kris deep down inside; the one that cares for people with all his heart.  You’re a compassionate man Kris and you have to rise above this demon of your mother in order to get away from it.”

“You’re right Jay.  You’re all too right about this.  Unfortunately though, I need to get away from here from awhile kiddo.” He began in a level tone.  “I was offered a six month work-term up at Base Orion and in light of recent events; I think the labor would make me feel better.  Give me a chance to think about everything that has happened.  I feel like I’m gonna snap soon anyway.  Therefore, I have decided to accept their offer and take the work-term.  I leave in a couple of hours.  I want you to explain this to Coral and TJ for me alright?”

He had turned around during the conversation to face me, fire burning in his passionate blue eyes.  His mind was made up; there was no use in arguing in trying to make him stay.  “I’ll do my best.  Just remember to stay in touch with us okay?”

He tousled my reddish-brown hair and smiled at me gently.  “Sure thing squirt; sure thing.”

Four: Allergic Reaction

It had been six months since I first entered the New Orion District Academy.  To be honest, I still feel as scared as the first day of classes.  I have increased my skills as a pilot and I feel more comfortable getting the academy by myself.  My instructor Sabin says that I’m ready for my test in an actual ship, but I’m not sure that he’s right.  My hands shake like a leaf when I first grab the controls and unless I go very slowly at first, I usually crash in the simulator.  I probably have more hours clocked in on the simulator than any other pilot candidate in the academy has.  Because of this, most of the other students think that I’m trying to kiss someone’s ass.  What they don’t realize however, is that my Personal Instructor refuses to let me quit.

            This was one of those nights.  Sabin had more or less ordered me to meet him at the simulators booths by six o’clock.  So there I was at six o’clock, waiting for my instructor to show up.  The waiting was starting to get to me.  As I was starting to pace the width of the hallway, I heard heavy footsteps from farther up the brightly lit hall.  I glanced over my shoulder to see my instructor in full uniform.  I was wearing my blue jeans with red flames running up the sides and a blue t-shirt with a dragon embroidered on the sleeve.  My hair was drawn back into a French braid and I was wearing my favourite red boots with silver buckles.

            My instructor was considerably taller than I am.  He has blond hair to my reddish brown, blue eyes to my green.  His face was dark with a tan and his features were set in a cold, expressionless glare.  He had spotted me as well; therefore, he had quickened his pace.  The closer Sabin came to my location in the hall, the more nervous I became.

            “Hello Jayde.” He greeted me.  “Are you ready?”

            “You never said anything about wearing a uniform.” I replied sternly.

            Sabin’s expression changed briefly as he chuckled.  “It’s alright; a uniform will be waiting for you up at the Base.  Now then, are you ready Jayde?”

            I nodded and then began to walk toward the closest simulator booth.  He grabbed my arm to stop me.  “Don’t I need to practice?” I demanded.

            “No, you don’t Jayde.” He began.  “I think you’re ready for the real thing.  Come with me.  The rapid transport to Base Orion is this way.”

            “That’s in the Docking Bay.”

            “How observant of you.” He teased.

            “An actual ship?!  I’m not ready to fly an actual ship!”

            Sabin had begun to walk toward the Docking Bay when he turned around to scold me once again for doubting myself.  “Oh, I beg to differ.  If you would only stop doubting yourself for five seconds, you would realize the potential that you truly have!  Now start walking to that docking bay Candidate!”

            I kept my mouth shut and blindly followed my instructor to the docking bay.  Upon reaching the docking bay, he led me to the rapid transport for Base Orion.  He stopped in front of the doors of the transports and keyed his pass codes for the device to open.  A swoosh from the metal doors signaled that we were allowed to enter.  He guided me to the passenger seat.  I sat down in the blue bucket chair and pulled the restraints together until they crossed the centre of my torso.  He sat down beside me in the navigation seat and the blipping of the keyboard as he keyed in our destination coordinates.

            “You snug in there?  Just remember to relax and to breathe and you should be fine.” Sabin assured me.

            I quickly felt a slight pinch in the back of my right arm as the rapid transport began its jump into space.  I felt a little light headed and very tired shortly afterwards.  My head was nothing but a short series of fireworks but it went away a few seconds later.

            “Hey!  Are you alright?” Sabin asked me, his voice dripping with concern.  “Didn’t you hear a thing I said?”

            “Sorry.  I felt light headed for a few seconds.  But I’m fine now.” I replied.

            Sabin raised a bushy blond eyebrow at me.  “Alright.  But if you feel sick you go straight to the infirmary.” He told me as he unbuckled the straps of the chair I was occupying.  He helped me out of the chair and I brushed off his hands as I exited the Rapid Transport.  I didn’t pay attention to my surroundings at first as I was trying to pay attention to Sabin.

            “Alright.  Your pilot’s exam isn’t until tomorrow morning, so take it easy until then.  Get something to eat, take a bath and get some sleep.  I’ll come and collect you in the morning.  Welcome to Base Orion Pilot Candidate Jayde Young.”

            I had thought as much.  He had given enough advance warning to start preparing for the examination.  I couldn’t let it psyche me out, so I pushed it to the back of my mind.

~*~*~*~*~*~

            I went to bed early that night.  I just felt so tired after arriving at the base.  It could have been jet lag but I was not sure.  I woke up several times during the night with a bitter taste in my mouth.  My throat was dry, almost scratchy and it felt like someone had set my whole body on fire.  My face was dripping with a cold sweat and my vision was somewhat blurry.  The room I was assigned to was more like an overheated closet than personnel quarters.  At that present moment, I felt constricted and confined.  I pulled on my jeans and shirt and exited the very hot room.

            As soon as I entered the hallway, the claustrophobia I felt became more intense.  I blindly began to run through the crowded hallway until I came to what looked like the Docking Bay from earlier that day.  The sound and smell of steel filled my brain, ears and nose to the brink of overloading.  My restless sleep had started to affect my judgment.  I stumbled around the docking bay, tripping over cables or being pushed out of the way by annoyed workers.  In my stupor, I stumbled into the path of an Industrial Space Crane.  There were people shouting, begging me to get out of the way.  Little had I realized that the crane was moving toward me.

            “Jay!” someone nearby called.

            Someone quickly grabbed me, crushing me in his or her embrace.  I was having some trouble breathing after the two of us crashed to the ground.  My brain kicked in after that.  My eyes popped open and I was in excruciating pain.  I couldn’t feel my right arm at all.  I looked over to see who had saved me from the crane and I saw Kris.  He was motionless and laying in a crumpled heap.

            I limped over to him.  “Kris?  Kris!”

            I felt very ill all of a sudden.  I could not think straight and the room was spinning at an alarmingly fast rate.

            Don’t give into it Jay!  Don’t let it win!  A deep voice thundered inside my mind.

            I had given up by that point.  I let go of my consciousness and I succumbed to the darkness.