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Jon Midget

"Resurrecting the Scarlet Avenger, Ch. 1.1" by Jon Midget

SF&F Picture 4 out of 13 by Jon Midget
 
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Have you ever wondered why people name elves 'Xinthi'a Farusto'li Liam?' I have. My elf, the main character of this novel, is named Martin. And he doesn't have magic oozing out of his fingers. He has abandonment/anger issues. And a jerk for an elected representative. Enjoy.

Note: this was updated April, 2007. The only significant change is the name of the mayor.


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Chapter 1: Homecoming

They hadn't even moved his body.

Even in the half-light before sunrise, I could see it there, a charred, blackened husk, in the middle of what had once been the Moonshined Coon. My father's inn. His home. His entire life. And now there was nothing left except a few scraps of burnt brick and ashes. Whatever had been left from the fire had been ripped apart and taken away.

It had once been my home, too.

I couldn't look anymore. I was dizzy. I collapsed to my knees. The ashes, damp from the early morning dew, smeared all over my pants and boots. I pressed my face into my hands, letting the silent tears run down my face and arms.

And it passed. I stood again and forced myself to look at the body. A gust of wind whipped across my face, and my cheeks and eyes were dry.

The sun rose past the mountains. Squinting through the light, my eyes followed the routes of the shadows to the stone fireplace standing ini the middle of the ruins. I hadn't noticed it before. It was still standing. Everything else had been torn apart, but it was still standing.

I slowly walked toward it. Forcing myself to breath, I walked until I was maybe ten or fifteen feet away. The rocks were black, covered with soot and ash. Most of it had toppled over, but the remains still stood more than ten feet high—more than half the height the two-story inn had been.

From the corner of my eye, I saw something move. A bird. A carrion bird. It had landed on my father's body and was picking at it. I made a step toward it, to shoo it away, but before I could go further I realized where I was.

The walls of the inn seemed to materialize around me, phantoms and shadows drifted back and forth until they became people. The quiet of the early morning disappeared amid the rumble of conversation, and I could suddenly smell beef stew.

I was a boy again, standing just behind the doorway to the back hall, looking out at the main room. Just as I always had. The fireplace was ten or fifteen feet away, and my father sat in his rocking chair on the other side. Eight round tables were spread around the room. They were mostly filled with men, playing cards or telling jokes or drinking ale. Two servers, a young woman and an older man, weaved in and out. Every now and then one of the men would notice my father and nod in his direction. Each time, my father nodded back.

I closed my eyes, and when I opened them the inn, the smells, and the phantoms were all gone again. But my father's body was still there, exactly where he had always sat in his rocking chair. He must have been sitting in it when the inn had caught fire. He must have been sitting there the entire time, watching the flames envelop the whole building, watching the smoke gather around the ceiling, watching his entire life burn away into nothing.

"Martin."

I spun around. A man stood at the side of the road, between me and the rising sun. I squinted but couldn't see anything more than a silhouette. I stepped toward him. He didn't move. I still couldn't see—the sun was too strong. I stepped to the side, and the silhouette became a man—a grey-haired, clean shaven man with a scar to the side of one eye and a spotless black vest. A man I knew very well. A man whose disapproving stare I had endured more than I cared to remember. Tom Ghundie, the mayor of Alcon Valley.

"We knew you would come by eventually," he spoke, "but we didn't expect to see you so soon."

"And when did you expect me?" I snapped.

Tom smiled tightly. "Well, who could say really," he said, his voice never wavering from his slow, deliberate, calculated tone. "Maybe a week or so. Maybe a few months. Maybe in a few years, when you could have turned it into a pilgrimage of sorts. But three days? You must have already been on your way. That's heartbreaking—"

"Mayor," I cut him off, "what happened to ...? This was my home."

He chuckled and narrowed his eyes at me, apparently puzzled. "Well that's not true, now is it," he said, still laughing. "This hasn't been your home for quite some time. A few years, if I remember right. How could you possibly—"

"Stop it!" I shouted at him. "I lived here. I grew up here. It was his–our–it was my home! I want to know what the hell happened."

The mayor took in a deep breath and exhaled dramatically. He put his hand on my shoulder. "Martin," he said, "we can't rewrite the past. What's done is done."

I brushed his hand off and stepped back. "And I want to know who did it."

"Now son," he said in the same slow, calm voice, "I know you're upset. That's understandable, given the circumstances, but let's try to calm down."

"I've been plenty calm," I snapped.

The mayor stepped back and folded his arms. His brow creased, and his eyes narrowed as they stared at me.

"I guess you're not interested in being civilized," he said. "Fine." He gestured to the body. "Your father has been burned into a gruesome black husk, and I think it would be best if you left. Permanently."

My breathing slowed. I bit my lip. A chill swept over my body, and I pulled my cloak still tighter with my shaking hands.

He stepped next to me flicked my ear. My damn, pointed, elvish ear.

"You never were one of us," he said.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked. "My father was one of you, and we can all see how that ended up."

"He hadn't been one of us since he came back with you."

And he left. I don't remember seeing him walk away, but I remember the dust, stirred up by his boots, hanging in the air and settling to the road again. The sun was climbing overhead. The ground was cool and damp. The wind died down, and a few dead leaves, blown in from the canyon, rested at the foot of that great stone fireplace standing in the middle of the ashes.

I reached a hand out to the fireplace, and several rocks and bits of mortar crumbled at the first slight touch. It was on the verge of collapsing. I was shocked that the wind hadn't already done the job. Looking around the ashes again, I saw only what I had already seen. Everything else—every doorknob, every brick, every scrap of metal—it had all been ripped down and taken away. But they had left the body and the fireplace where they were. The last monuments to a dead, forgotten life.

My father had built the rocking chair for me. When he had returned from the war, walking back into his hometown carrying a strange, dark-haired infant with elvish ears, it had been the only thing he had known to do. And I suddenly wondered if he had been thinking about me as he sat in the chair for the last time, watching the fire kill him. Did he remember that night, twenty-five years ago, when he held that infant in his arms and wept—because he didn't know what to do except to build a rocking chair to lull the child to sleep?

I like to think that he remembered.

But as I stood there it was all gone. Whatever thoughts were in his mind had long since blown away with the ashes. All lost. The gods never tell us what has been forgotten.

I turned away—away from the body, from the ashes, from the fireplace, from everything—and walked away. The street was long and straight, but I never looked back.

Chapter 1 continues ...

←- Legend of the Whisper Wood, Ch. 2 | Resurrecting the Scarlet Avenger, Ch. 1.2 -→

DateNameComment 
25 Mar 2007:-) A.R. George
We knew you would come by eventually," he spoke, "but we didn't expect to see you so soon."
-- 'Speak' is an unqualified verb - 'He spoke French', 'He spoke and I listened'. To qualify, it's the dreaded 'say' (or 'shout', whatever).

"Well, who could say really,"
-- Question mark for a rhetorical question; separate clause for an aside ('who could say, really?')

"Well that's not true, now is it," -- another rhetorical question and separate asides ("Well, that's not true, now, is it?")

"It was his—our—it was my home!." -- doubled punctuation

"He stepped next to me flicked my ear." -- missing 'and' or comma after 'me'.



:-) Jon Midget replies: "Thank you for the picks. As embarassing as it is, I am without question an atrocious editor. I can't even specify all the comma rules of the English language. As one reader once mentioned, my use of commas seems to follow pauses and intonation, as if the story is being read out loud, rather that meticulous attention to rules. Oh well, I guess we all have our flaws."
25 Mar 2007:-) A.R. George


:-) Jon Midget replies: "Urk, what a story-hook those first three paragraphs are! O_O Straight to the point and no preamble. My worst vice is showing people the *hem* 'camera angle', as you've already seen, so that was very impressive. You don't need purple prose to make people sit up and see what's going on."
8 Jun 2007:-) Brendon Adam Shapiro
Cool! This was a very refreshing read - it's so nice to be able to get right into a story without having to wade through a bunch of descriptive paragraphs first. I like the really dark tone you develop, right off the bat. I almost feel like if this were a movie, it would have to be black and white, just by the images you choose. (except the flashback would be in color, definitely) It's nice prose, rich with emotion. Your dialogue is really good too. Egads! I'm replying rather late. Sorry about that. Anyway, thanks for reading and for the compliments. The dark tone you mention is one of the things I'm most proud of about this piece. I had a university creative writng professor tell me that it sucked him right away—so strongly that he didn't mind that it was fantasy. If you know anything about university creative writing programs, you'll recognize immediately what kind of compliment that was.Ooop, one typo that I don't think has been caught yet, right near the beginning - "the stone fireplace standing right ini the middle..." Those infernal typos. Curses upon them.Aah, a little elvish racism is always nice. I wonder if Martin's father was burned just for having an elvish son... or were we supposed to assume that IS what happened? I'm intrigued as to where this may be leading, although I will admit that this first chapter had the air of being the end of the story, not the beginning. I was drawn in, but I'm curious as to where the story can advance from here... I guess I'll have to keep reading to find out. Really nice work, thanks!Well, you're expected to assume that it's all because Martin's an elf, but you're also supposed to wonder if that's a correct assumption. So it looks like that was successful ^_~. It's actually much more complicated than that, but you'll have to read on (and I'll have to write on) to discover the "whole story."I've been worried a bit about the ending of this part, to tell the truth, because it does feel like an ending. In a way, it is&mdash:the end of Martin's father's story. I'm glad you are drawn in. Thanks for reading and commentiing. And thanks for being patient for a response.
6 Jul 2007:-) B. Layne Weaver
Heheheh, I love the fact that your elf is named Martin. XD I have a "Daniul" (Daniel), so that's a little bit along the same thread... but that's about as close to a "normal" name that my elves get, so... aye. Ah, yes. I've got these weird issues over names. I just can't fathom that chosing a name like L'yhhnl'm,gtlioé — one that requires people to flip back to a pronunciation guide every time it appears—really helps all that much. I'll have to browse through your stories to find Daniul and his adventures."Squinting through the light, my eyes followed the routes of the shadows to the stone fireplace standing [ini] the middle of the ruins." -- [in] "Forcing myself to [breath], I walked until I was maybe ten or fifteen feet away." -- [breathe] Eep, terrible image of seeing a carrion bird pecking at his father's body... I like the way you handle the flashback/memory weaving into the present. Very nice! "He stepped next to me flicked my ear." -- you're missing an "and" in there, i think... Intriguing! I'm curious to learn more about this Martin fellow.Again, thanks so much for stopping by and reading.
12 Feb 2009:-) Nicoline Badenhorst
*must--read--on* No time to comment, I’m too hooked for that. XD
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About 'Resurrecting the Scarlet Avenger, Ch. 1.1':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Jon Midget
 • Copyright: ©Jon Midget. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Elf, Discrimination, Prejudice, Memories, Inn, Loss
 • Categories: Elf / Elves, Fights, Duels, Battles, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Romance, Emotion, Love, Warrior, Fighter, Mercenary, Knights, Paladins
 • Views: 213


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Resurrecting the Scarlet Avenger, Ch. 2.1
Legend of the Whisper Wood, Ch. 1.1
Resurrecting the Scarlet Avenger, Ch. 1.3
Like Starlight, Dancing on Frosted Grass

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