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Anthony J. Rodriguez

"2.To The End: Let Me Die" by Anthony J. Rodriguez

SciFi/Fantasy text 2 out of 3 by Anthony J. Rodriguez.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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←- 1.To The End:I Love You | 0.To The End: Spell Book -→

 

“What does it say?” Jaygen asked 

there’s a beast behind here” 

What kind of beast, another dread?”

 “no, worst, if we go this way we can go together and risk our lives. Or we can split up an the odds of us fighting this thing decreases?” He thought he heard her voice crack then he noticed a tear trickling down her left cheek.

 

“Lily, are you afraid” Jaygen asked, trying to break the awkward silence.

 “Promise me we’ll come out on the other side, please promise” she hid her face in his shoulder, he felt the warm tears and he didn’t know what to say except “I will”.

 “Promise” she ordered him

 “I promise”

            She pushed the door open with great ease as if it had just been greased, she moved passed the threshold and with nothing propelling it the door closed. Lily swung around, she hadn’t heard Jaygen follow, she summoned another light in that dark room and to her relief he was standing there leaning against a brown dirty wall. “Want to look around?” she asked.

“There’s nothing here” he told her. He noticed her eyes were actually glowing now “Why do your eyes look like that?”.

“How can you see my eyes?”

“They’re glowing”

“I don’t know, it has never happened before”

Jaygen let it go; it wasn’t hurting her after all. They started walking towards the other end of the hall when a blaze of fire ran across both sides of the walls. The torches revealed a dome structure and at the other end a huge beast glared at them, it roared and that alone blurred Jaygens eyes.

 

 

←- 1.To The End:I Love You | 0.To The End: Spell Book -→

DateNameComment 
6 Jul 200645 Julia
Shocking, dramatic, everything it's supposed to be. But you forgot plenty of punctuation marks, capitalizations, and apostrophes. There's a reason teachers are always on our case for it, you know. A few spelling mistakes, too-dieing-dying, your-you are. But still, I thoroughly enjoyed this story, and I'm looking forward to more. Just spend a bit more time on the editing.

1 Anthony J. Rodriguez replies: "you should have seen the rough draft."
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'2.To The End: Let Me Die':
 • Created by: :-) Anthony J. Rodriguez
 • Copyright: ©Anthony J. Rodriguez. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Brother, Father, Mother
 • Categories: Demons, Imps, Devils, Beholders..., Fights, Duels, Battles, Ghosts, Ghouls, Aparitions, Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Romance, Emotion, Love, Royalty, Kings, Princes, Princesses, etc, Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic, Warrior, Fighter, Mercenary, Knights, Paladins, Wizards, Priests, Druids, Sorcerers...
 • Views: 449

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