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Jessica Danielle Hunt

"Ode to Solitude" by Jessica Danielle Hunt

SciFi/Fantasy text 1 out of 6 by Jessica Danielle Hunt.      ←Previous - Next→
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Ever feel alone, well this is a story about what happens we when we feel alone
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←- Wicked Whispers | The Fates-an introduction -→

Ode to Solitude


In the Forest of Seclusion do those who are alone tread

          Into the great darkness and fear do they follow the thread


There never does a leaf fall

          For no tree bears any

The accursed trees do call

          In darkest wishes to ensnare many


And then do the wanderers become secluded

          For an eternity until Spring enters the unfrequented place

Then do beautiful souls become deluded

          For Spring shall never show her face


The longer their paths be extended

          The darker the forest becomes

Then are darkness and fear blended

          And is harder for light to come


And the forest does its duty to delude

          And the wanderer is forced into their own



←- Wicked Whispers | The Fates-an introduction -→

26 Feb 2004:-) Adrian H. Wood
First off, i like the idea behind your poem. I think you've conjured a lot of cool images and i really enjoyed it! However i think it needs a bit of work still, so hopefully i can help you with a bit of healthy criticism...
The most important thing is that you sort out the number of silables in each rhyming line and keep them reasonably consistent, because that way the flow to your poem can defo be improved. For instance, the second line in the 3rd stanza is way too long! Your 4th stanza is a great example of how it should be done, and how good poetry flow sounds.
Another thing is the last line of the poem - there isn't really such a thing as 'own soltitude', soltitude is always on your own if you get what i mean. Try changing the line to something like 'and the wanderer is forced into dim soltitude'...Not necessarily that!
This is just me, but you might also want to change the word 'unfrequented' to something like 'desolate'...It has a more poetic ring to it i reckon.
Ok well, i did really like this and i don't mean to be harsh or something, just trying to help out!
Keep it up, i'll be back to read more soon

:-) Jessica Danielle Hunt replies: "wow thanks for the criticism...im glad to have some of that. Of course i will say that when i wrote this i didnt know much about the art of poetry and just sort of wrote whatever came to mind not really focusing on iambic pentameter or anything in the liking. As for "unfrequented" i absolutely love that word because it isnt used too often. I like that you suggested desolate but the whole mood of the poem is really about confusion and sadness besides being alone and in a desolate place. But i really am glad you commented on it...some things definately need work but some things i meant to be that way...besides iambic pentameter and blah...but thank you bunches and ill stop by your place in the woods.2"
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'Ode to Solitude':
 • Created by: :-) Jessica Danielle Hunt
 • Copyright: ©Jessica Danielle Hunt. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Alone, Solitude
 • Categories: Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic
 • Views: 479

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More by 'Jessica Danielle Hunt':
The Fates chapter one
The Tale of Dolon and Auraine
Wicked Whispers
The Fates-an introduction
The Fates Chapter Three

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