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Jenny (Jeni) Watson

"Poem: Last Hero" by Jenny (Jeni) Watson

SciFi/Fantasy text 5 out of 10 by Jenny (Jeni) Watson.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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Got the idea of it while listening to the 'Resident Evil' soundtrack. LoL. Not my finest, though not my worst.
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←- Poem: Last Dragon | Poem: Life Unwanted -→

Last Hero

The World is Cruel, the Daylight Gone,

As Darkness Plagues the sky.

The song of Freedom slowly Fades,

And all truth becomes a lie.

The line of Heros becomes to Short,

For all have Changed their side.

Their loyalty failed, evil prevailed,

And good were forced to hide.

Magic turned dark, death Does its part,

And all leaders convert.

From good to evil; light to dark,

To strong was the desire to hurt.

Their people follow, like sheep to a flock.

Losing all freewill and liberty,

Kindness and memories easily taken,

As if they wished not to be free.

Though one sheep took a different route,

She starts to stray away.

She wished to keep her dreams at night,

Though she was tortured in the day.

She still had hope in mankind,

And the good inside them all.

She insisted they were only blinded,

And that the evil soon shall fall.

She used her life to open the eyes,

Of any who would listen.

Though she was stripped of all her rights,

Her eyes would always glisten.

And though one day they took her down,

They stopped her heart from beating.

They couldn’t stop the truth she’d spread,

That now two more were leading…

←- Poem: Last Dragon | Poem: Life Unwanted -→

DateNameComment 
15 May 2003:-) Kylia A. *Pips* Taspin
I like this one the best so far, which is funny because it isn't your favourite.
Once more you gave a wonderful message, and I like the addition of the sheep as a line.
In my head I made a tune to this, I wish it were a song, I think it would be wonderful. The stanzas could easily be converted into lyrics, if I only had musical know-how I would ask to do this.
*sighs and hangs her head, resting her chin on the gryphon on her lap.*
I love the imagery, especially the line about her eyes glistening forever.
Beautiful.

EDITING: The big scary.
A time or two you dropped an "o" on too. Like "too much" you changed to "to much."
That's it.

Other than that it's perfect.
Loving it.

It actually almost has a matrix-y feel, but wholly original.

Simply wonderful hunny!

~~kylia

:-) Jenny (Jeni) Watson replies: "wow i think this is one of the kindest comments i ever received. Plus it showed me a few errors which is always a good thing. Im horrible at the whole to/too and then/than. Lol dont know why and my teachers gave up trying to help. heh. Oh well. Danke for always taking time to write such lovely comments for me. It makes my day to see someone who read and enjoyed my work. 12"
19 May 2003:-) Tina Stearns
Perfect! The poem is darkly superb! I really liked the way the you portrayed the heroism of the character and that she broke from the pack. (the lone wolf who saw the light) very touching. Rhyme and rhythm were excellent!

:-) Jenny (Jeni) Watson replies: "Wow thanks. I'm glad to see you liked my portrayal even though it might have been a bit cliche. "
17 Jun 2003:-) Shelly N. Whit
I like

:-) Jenny (Jeni) Watson replies: "I am glad you do, and im gladder (lol) you commented."
1 Sep 200345 Toboria
OMG!!! you are one of the top two poets on elfwood that i absolutly loove!!! this poem is wonderful! it flows freely and the beat only gets thrown off on one or two lines...hmmm...my poetry won second place on an international poetry contest, but it has nothing on this...i know!!!!!! enter your poem in a contest!id put my money on you ( not that i...uh...have any...::21obs::::im broked!) but overall, wonderful poem!

:-) Jenny (Jeni) Watson replies: "Oh i'd love to read your poem! I love reading poetry as much as i love writing. And thanks for thinking my poem would even stand a chance in a contest... though if ya had money its not good to bet on my poetry. hehe. "
12 Oct 200345 Chikalatina
Wow, this is so cleverly done. The story touches on heroism with true sadness and a pull of gratitude. It is thanks to those few that history can be changed, affected in some way, and eventually nade known. Wow, again. This is great! mai

:-) Jenny (Jeni) Watson replies: "Thank you for commenting. It is through actions such as in the poem that leaves hope in the world. As a wise man once said.. "The only way Evil can win, is if good men do nothing." "
16 Oct 200345 Kathryn C. Parker
*gasp* ANOTHER ONE YOU HAVEN'T SHOWN ME? THE SECOND ONE I HAVE FOUND! GRRR *starts the uncontrolable muttering again about uncontrolable things* *snaps out of it* ANYWAY *glares* I think it's awesome but you really broke the beat badly a couple times. I was like...whoa wait...and paused before countinuing *pulls ksher to shield me from any attacks*

:-) Jenny (Jeni) Watson replies: "LOL! You use Ksher of all people to shield you. How interesting.. i told you he was cute lovable bad guy. *snuggles Ksher who looks at me like i am out of my mind.* Yeah i know the rhythm is sorta dancing to its own tune, with two left feet. OH well though. OH and i did show this one to you, you forgot. *sticks out tongue* So now I have a reason to be mad."
16 Mar 2004:-) Nicholas G. DeBruno
Eeek, today I found two poets who rock! Oosh, how exciting. I thought this poem was great. Watch out for too and to. Sometime syou have them switched around. Just a little nitpick. But this poem was great, truly wonderful my friend.

:-) Jenny (Jeni) Watson replies: "Thank you for the comment. I am glad you enjoy it and find me a 'rocking' poet. 2 Yes i know when i wrote the majority of these poems i was um... illiterate in grammar. Still am a bit, but have improved somewhat. One day i'll stop being lazy and update them all but that day is not today. 2 Once again thank you for the comment."
11 Nov 2004:-) E Purington
Wow...You are an absolutely brilliant poet! There were only minor things:

/And all truth becomes a lie.// Maybe to fit the rhythm of the sky line, [all the truth]?
/The line of Heros becomes [to] Short,// [too]
/Their loyalty failed, evil prevailed,// Gorgeous phrase!
/And all leaders convert.// [And all the leaders] to fit again with rhythm? Maybe?
/[To] strong was the desire to hurt.// [Too]

That was it. Besides the really minor things, it was so wonderful. It reminded me of the story of Moses. So beautfiful.
Have you taken any poetry classes? Your rhyming is perfect, not forced. Fantastic ^_^
19 Jan 2005:-) Lindsay Rae Holder
Yes...this is what true warriors...real heros are made of... *weeps for all the lone sheeps of the world* i'm glad you got it.
29 Apr 200745 Illusion
Absolutely breathtaking. Thank you deeply for the inspiration.
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'Poem: Last Hero':
 • Created by: :-) Jenny (Jeni) Watson
 • Copyright: ©Jenny (Jeni) Watson. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Hero, Inspirational, Last, Poem, Poetry, Revolutionist
 • Categories: Fights, Duels, Battles, Romance, Emotion, Love, Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic
 • Views: 840

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