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Amanda J. Hoffman

"A Wolf´s Night" by Amanda J. Hoffman

SciFi/Fantasy text 1 out of 10 by Amanda J. Hoffman.      ←Previous - Next→
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Hmmm, this is one of my late night creative bursts. I like the way that it turned out.
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A Wolf's Night

Sitting atop a mountain high,

Hearing a pack of wolves cry.

You cringe into the shadows so deep,

As the daytime lazily sleeps.

Then, all of a sudden, it's deathly silent,

You wonder where the wolf cries went.

Cuddle softly into the tree you see before you,

Because there's nowhere to go, nothing you can do.

A lone wolf steps out of the shadows dark,

From inside you hear your heart spark,

He steps closer and beckons for you to come,

You want to go, but you cannot run.

Run, run, tiny human, he dares,

Run by the moonlight and through your body I will tear.

Nay, dear animal of the evening, you say,

I merely came out here to play.

Then run and play, dear child, he quips,

And through your lifeless body shall I snip.

Do not hurt me, my dear wolf, you plead,

I shall leave this place and never return… please.

The lone wolf, steps aside allowing you to pass,

You can finally breathe… at last.

Running hard and fast you hold yourself tight,

At least you had survived through a wolf's night.
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28 Aug 2001:-) Erin M. Schmidt
The villainous wolf, the quirky dialogue . . . this piece reminds me very strongly of the Jean de la Fontaine fables (which I dearly adore). A few ways to improve this poem might be to work out the formatting errors, obviously, but also to clear up some of the imagery ("hear" a spark inside? "cuddle" a tree?) This isn't a complex poem; it simply tells a story, and it seems to me that the language should be as straightforward as possible. Just a suggestion, mind you. I really enjoyed reading this, and my criticism is meant to be constructive, not malicious.
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'A Wolf's Night':
 • Created by: :-) Amanda J. Hoffman
 • Copyright: ©Amanda J. Hoffman. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Child, Forest, Moon, Night, Wolf
 • Views: 311

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