|15 Nov 2001|| R.K. Vegh ~~ Trulance|
Firstly, if you'll forgive me this comment, because I do not intend to criticize, at all. This poem seems slave to rhyme, which perhaps cripples it from where it wants to go, yet it excels in content... I employ rhyme where I may, and I know I'm not the most adept at doing so, but to me it seemed this poem, though great, could be truly beyond words if it were released from the rhyme... as though the rhyme began a thing it could not finish, and you recognized this and ended it with 'And forever in your heart shall I dwell.' --so it seemed to me. This poem comes out well in the end, if you don't mind my boldness in saying so.
|18 Aug 2004|| Rebecca R. Mosher|
This is really beautiful. I love the ending it really seems to sum up well. Come comment on a few of my stories and maybe give me a few hints on how to have a better( existant would be nice) rhyme scheme. Again, This poem is really pretty.