"Happy Snails" by Jessica M. Jordan

Now, you see.. There is some history of the happy snails out there. I'm just a person who happens to know a little of it. The Truth Is Out There, I tell you! HAPPY SNAILS! Now.. Where was I? Oh yes.. Happy snails. You want to know about them? Why on earth (Or Bearth for that matter) would you want to know about THEM? They're evil! "But they're Happy!" You say. Oh, no.. It's much more deep than that. Allow me to delve deeply into the subject very close to my heart.

You see, there used to be an entire population of the Happy Snails running about on Bearth. Bearth, their home planet, was also populated by a race of abnormally large and rather silly rabbits- but that's another story altogether. Where was I? Oh yes, the Snails. Well, you see.. The Snails had been living there for as long as anyone (or thing, for that matter) could remember. They were a part of life. The rest of the beings generally looked down while they walked to avoid trampling the adorable things. What the rest of the beings didn't know was that a inner sect of the infamous Happy Snails weren't happy at all! They were angry, and even downright unhappy! Needless to say, this disturbed some of the resident Happy Snails (Who were indeed, very happy). So, the Happy Snails packed their things, loaded their suitcases (little ones, they're snails for goodness sakes) onto their backs and hurried off (well, slowly hurried- they're snails for goodness sakes!) to another place on Bearth to reside. When the Unhappy snails awoke the next morning to find the truly Happy Snails gone- they were a bit perturbed! They were even ANGRY! So, they went off hunting for them.

Meanwhile, the Happy Snails (Who were still, in fact, happy) had settled not too far away on a mountain side and were enjoying life, being happy, eating grass, and whatnot. The Unhappy snails had made their way (slowly, they're snails..remember?) to the mountainside as well. They discovered the Happy Snails having a party! This made the Unhappy Snails even MORE Unhappy, you see.. For, they had a tendency to be Unhappy, hence the name. To make a longer story rather short, the Unhappy Snails took some unhappy leaves, set them ablaze, then burned the village of Happy Snails to little happy ashes. (Oh no!) But! Two of the Happy Snails had managed to escape the Happy fire! Strangely enough, the two held no grudge against the Unhappy Snails and tried to make peace with them. (Silly snails.) When the two found the group of Unhappy Snails, they were quickly made into Happy Ashes as well. (Oh no!) So, you see. The Happy Snail comments, drawings, and references.. Are all made in a tribute to a once very happy village, on a very happy planet- that was taken in a hostile way- away from the Happy Creatures. Well.. I'm sure that made no sense at all.. But, oh well. You get the point.